


Bloodstream

by daysofyou



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Confused Lexa, Eventual Smut, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Injured Lexa (The 100), Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Multi, Protective Clarke, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2018-10-28 13:48:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 52,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10832541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daysofyou/pseuds/daysofyou
Summary: Clexa Zombie AU! Clarke and Lexa have been neighbors their whole lives and never really liked one another. Or, they liked each other too much and never understood each other. What happens when an infectious disease spreads rapidly around the world turning people into flesh eating dead, and Lexa and Clarke are forced to survive together. Love, fluff, survival and eventual smut.





	1. Carbonized Lungs

The wails of the sirens woke her from a stubborn sleep and begrudgingly shoved her out of the warm bed she’s had since she was ten. Clarke rubbed at her temple and pulled the turquoise curtains to the side where her eyes scanned the expanse of her neighborhood. It was usually quiet at dawn. But the warning siren blared and made the air vibrate. In the distance thick black smoke met with the lilac sky, and people stepped onto their lawns in robes and pajamas trying to figure out what the problem was. Clarke knew it wasn’t an earthquake, nor was it some sort of storm. The sky was crisp and the world was at it’s calmest for the very last time. 

Clarke walked through the halls, suddenly very awake as the dull screaming from outside fought its way through the walls of the house. The earth seemed to shatter, and the pictures on the walls of family didn’t register to Clarke any sentimental value in that moment. Just the need to find the phone and call her mother. She could hear Abby’s voice in her head clearly from the last conversation they had, “South America is so nice this time of year. Me and Marcus never got our honeymoon. We’ll be back before you know it. Spend some time with Wells or your other two loud friends.”

Clarke never really appreciated Marcus any higher than the usual politeness she possessed so the air could be only a little less thicker. He wasn’t a bad man. Far from it, actually. She just could never find it in herself to ever let him in. She wasn’t angry at Abby for moving on. Clarke figured it would happen eventually. It irked her that Abby still hadn’t changed the blue sheets her father had slept on. It made her heart ache that she had worn her old wedding ring until Marcus had proposed to her and gave her a new one to wear. Clarke keeps that wedding ring around her neck where it hides just under her shirt. She also kept the watch her father got her when she was younger after having asked him the time way once too many when she was up at night working on her homework sat beside him in the living room until one or two in the morning. He had always sat with her until she had crashed out from exhaustion. He would then turn the tv off, set her work and books on the end table, set the house alarm, then scoop her up in his arms and carry her up to bed. When she started to get a little too big to carry, he handed her a box with a silver watch and said, “Now you can just lift your wrist and be at time’s kiss.” The quote had always made her laugh, but she realized that he had been at time’s kiss. And it had given him to death. Taken him away from her. Still, even with the new man in their house, Jake was still there in photographs, old movies, and in their hearts.

Clarke padded down the stairs in bare feet and searched around the living room for her phone. She had always left it downstairs in a whim of being so tired and forgetting about it. She regretted her carelessness at that moment as the siren wails didn’t seem to let up.

Clarke grabbed the couch pillows, throwing them off in haste, and when she found nothing, she grabbed the cushions and lifted them up as well. She discarded them on the floor, and reached her hand into the creases of the couch and felt around. When she was about to give up and look somewhere else, she felt the cool plastic of her phone case, and sighed in relief as she yanked it out.  
When she clicked the home button, her screen lit up and she was greeted with too many texts to count. Clarke’s mouth went dry. She unlocked her phone and went to the most recent. 

Octavius Blakemus 

7:08am  
You remember that disease you me and Raven were  
Joking about? It’s fucking real.

7:09am  
It was all over the news an hour ago. None of the tv’s  
Are working now. 

7:10am  
Please tell me you’re okay, Clarke!

Clarke stared down at her phone in disbelief. If it weren’t for the sirens she’d shake her head and laugh then go back to bed. But she had a feeling Octavia seriously wasn’t bullshitting her this time. 

Clarkus Griffster 

7:21am  
I’m okay, O. 

Clarke then opened Raven’s texts which seemed to explode. Everything with Raven exploded. 

Ravenclaw Reyes

6:40am  
Clarke! That fucking disease wasn’t bullshit!

6:40am  
This dude fucking ate a reporter’s face on live  
Television! This is fucking insane!

6:48am  
All channels have gone off air. What the fuck.

6:51am  
Clarke please text back!!!

6:56am  
Your mom still isn’t back yet! Fuck!  
You’re there alone! My mom won’t  
Let me go to you!

6:59am  
You better be okay or I’ll fucking kill  
You, Griffin.

Clarkey Griffindor 

7:22am  
I’m okay, Rave. My mom isn’t  
Supposed to be back for three more  
Days. I’m coming to you. 

 

Clarke’s hands began to shake. She truly didn’t know what to do. Was she just supposed to hunker down and wait for Abby and Marcus to come home and let them take control? What if they didn’t come home? Clarke opened some more texts from Wells, Bellamy, Jasper, Monty, Roan, and Harper. She let them all know that she was okay, then she anxiously opened the texts from her mother. The earliest ones. 

Abby

4:32am  
Clarke, something bad has happened.  
The disease that was proven to only  
Be a flu is far worse than that. It looks  
Like a zombie horror movie here. You  
Need to go to the town’s public evac  
Shelter. 

4:32am  
I love you, Clarke. I’m trying to get  
Back to you. Everything will be okay.  
You are strong. 

 

When Clarke tried to send a text back, a red exclamation beside her text told her the cell service had gone, and she felt her heart boil and drop to the ravine of her stomach. Clarke then tried to text Raven or Octavia but the same red exclamation came up. Hot, salty tears began to brim over her eyelids, and she threw the phone in frustration. How could Abby leave her alone? How could she make her endure this all alone? Truly, she didn’t know something like this would happen. It simply wasn’t her fault and Clarke hated that she couldn’t blame anyone for this. 

Exhausted and drained, Clarke ran up the stairs as fast as she could and slammed her bedroom door behind her. She dug the palms of her hands into her eyes and willed herself to get a grip. Maybe it wasn’t really as big of a deal as everyone has made it out to be. Maybe it’s just a measly disease that had made everyone go a bit crazy like those drugs some people took that made them want to eat skin. It could be anything. 

Clarke changed out of her pajamas and into a black shirt with her dark blue jacket. She tied her hair up in a bun and began to throw some stuff she knew she’d need into her bag. Going off of the zombie movies she would binge watch with her father all of those years ago, she made a list in her head and began to shove medicines, and foods, and some of Marcus’s tools, and blankets and spare clothes into her bag. She was far from done when she stopped in her tracks at the noise she heard coming from the front door. Someone was messing with the doorknob. Clarke ran up the stairs into Abby and Marcus’s room and put in the code of the large safe, where she pulled out the pistol they kept there, along with tons of bullets. She placed the bullet packages in her bag, zipped it shut, and loaded the gun before making her way to the top of the stairs, raising the gun with shaky hands and aimed just beyond the door, ready as she’s ever been. 

When the door finally popped open, Clarke’s heart was nearly on it’s way to beating itself right out of her chest. A young woman with an even bigger backpack than Clarke’s stepped into the threshold and glanced up at the blonde. Clarke was relieved and annoyed all at once at the sight of the girl standing at the bottom of the stairs. 

Lexa Woods was her neighbor. Her neighbor she’s hated since Lexa threw dirt at her when she was playing outside when they were six. High school didn’t make things much better. Lexa came out as a lesbian, and Clarke was out as bisexual. And Clarke hated Lexa even more solely because she had the largest crush on Lexa and couldn’t do anything about it. Lexa hated her for some god unknown reason. Yet there she was in her own home, looking up at her expectantly. The sirens from outside grew louder since the door was opened. Lexa shook herself out of her Clarke induced reverie and pushed the door shut. 

“What are you doing here?” Clarke said bitterly. “Why did you pick my lock?” 

Lexa lifted a hand to her head and scratched it as if Clarke had just asked her to solve a hard calculus question to determine someone’s life expectancy. 

“I, uh, I knew your mom was away. I’m alone too,” Lexa shrugged sheepishly. 

“So you’re stalking me?”

“What? No! I just realized, I mean your mom’s car hasn’t been in the driveway for weeks and-” 

“I know. I was fucking with you,” Clarke winked and trudged down the steps, until she was directly in front of Lexa, mere inches in fact. Lexa’s breath hitched and Clarke arched a brow in confusion. Lexa took a step back and lifted her thumb to her mouth where she greedily chewed the nail. 

“My mom texted me saying I need to go to the evac shelter. But I need to see Raven and Octavia first.” 

Lexa nodded her head reluctantly at the mention to the other two girls. They were so loud and annoying. Clarke seemed to be the only normal one out of the three of them. Though all three of them were pretty, Clarke outshined the other two in Lexa’s eyes. Clarke had hair of hay fields and eyes of cornflowers, and it always made Lexa feel so at a loss for words and made her emotions swirl and she felt so overwhelmed. She had no way of expressing how she felt to Clarke without looking like a complete idiot, so she chose to stay at a distance, and at times if it was needed, to be mean. It broke her heart every time. 

“You don’t have to come,” Clarke shrugged. “It’s not like I need you or you need me.”

“I’ll go,” Lexa said way too fast. 

Clarke smirked at her and Lexa rolled her eyes. 

“I have nowhere else to be.” 

Clarke wanted to ask where her parents were and why she had nowhere else to go, but she held herself back knowing Lexa most likely wouldn’t tell her anyway. Clarke led them out the door, gave a last glance to the inside of her house and slowly closed the door. 

 

///////////

 

The Reyes household was loud and rambunctious even at what seemed to be the end of the world. Lexa enjoyed the drive there, though. The roads near the city were filled with people running, screaming, dying. And her and Clarke’s neighborhood was starting to look the same by the time they left. But once they turned into a dirt road and began driving into the countryside, it became quiet again. The siren had long since stopped, and the air was filled with a smokey, ashy smell that would be overwhelming if the fresh air didn’t over power it. Clarke had put their bags in the backseat of her car, instructed Lexa to not put her feet up on the dashboard once she was in the passenger seat (Lexa wasn’t going to anyway) and started to pull out of the driveway. Away from the normality of their lives. Lexa had rolled the window down and let the warm morning breeze hit her face softly. She looked longingly at the fields they had passed along the way and wished she could run through them again. Clarke saw the longing in Lexa’s green eyes and she wanted to ask her about it, but stopped herself once again. She had to remind herself Lexa was only with her because she had nowhere and no one else to run to. She was just there so Lexa didn’t have to be alone. The thought made Clarke’s heart ache. She drove on. 

Yes. the house was loud. Mostly because Raven lived there, but Octavia had been there too when Clarke and Lexa arrived, much to Clarke’s relief. Despite the pitch, the house was neat and clean. Lexa hated to know that it would soon be destroyed by the new world they were forced into.  
And despite Lexa’s utmost expectations of the girls cringing once they had seen Clarke brought her along, they were actually extremely nice to her. They made it seem like they were glad she was there. Lexa shook at the unwanted feeling worming its way into her gut and closed herself off even more. 

Raven’s mother was one of those mothers that had a mixture of best friend and authority. The mother with so much to give and enjoyed giving it. She cooked before the electricity went out, and they all ate a supper big enough to feed a small army. Raven’s family consisted of just her and her mother, but really, Clarke and Octavia acted as though they lived there too. Lexa almost felt jealous that these girls were so close. She herself had never felt that way with anyone. But then when she looked at Clarke, looking at her two best friends with adoration and ease, Lexa softened. She was glad Clarke had something like that. 

 

///

 

Later that night, the girls were holed up in Raven’s room while Raven’s mother kept watch on the porch, with a large shotgun and her cat, Maximus on her lap. Lexa sat farthest away from the three girls, closest to the window as they all talked about the disease. Lexa laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling, only feeling the slightest comfort in the dark, and listened on. 

“Where do we go from here? It’s not like we have that much protection from whatever the hell is out there,” Raven sighed. 

“Not only do we have to be careful with the disease, we have to be careful with other survivors. They have strategy and motive,” Octavia said. “We need weapons. We need to be ready.” 

Lexa had heard the rumors around school about Octavia Blake’s homelife. How her father was abusive, but went to prison for robbery and died two years after being sentenced. How her mother was a meth head that only ever left the house to get her drugs. Lexa knew Octavia had put on a front. She was the star athlete, one of the most popular girls in school. But she was never a bitch. Lexa liked that about her. She knew Octavia probably lived here more than at her own home. Her older brother, Bellamy was away at college and Octavia had gotten herself self defense lessons, and gotten into taekwondo to fight off any of the angry men coming around her apartment to try to kill her mother over drug money. Octavia knew everyone knew about her life, yet acted like it wasn’t true. Everyone else played along. 

“I have my gun, Lexa has her machete,” Clarke said in a husky tied voice. Lexa shivered at her name being said in that voice and tried to tell herself that emotions are weakness. It was all she had ever known. 

“We can rack up some more somehow.” 

“We’ll figure it out,” Octavia concluded. 

“We should sleep. I think this could be our last night of full rest for god knows how long,” Raven said and shuffled around in her blanket. 

None of the girls had used the bed because it was too small and they all wanted to feel closer to one another. All except for Lexa. 

“Goodnight,” all three girls said at the same time. 

“Goodnight, Lexa,” Octavia whispered. 

Lexa was thinking about not answering and pretending she was asleep but she couldn’t find it in her to do so. 

“Goodnight,” she whispered back weakly. 

When she turned her head, she could see the stars from her place by the window and she felt herself slowly start to drift in a long awaited slumber. A slumber she couldn’t fight off even if she had wanted to. With Raven’s light snores in the background of her mind, she let herself surrender to sleep for once in weeks. 

 

The sleep Lexa let herself fall into betrayed her later into the night and she woke up shaking from the previous nightmare still fresh in her mind. She was covered in sweat and she felt too exposed under the moonlight, in the large expanse of Raven Reyes’ bedroom. Lexa stood up on jelly legs, and struggled to not step on anyone as she made her way to the door. She stepped on a rough patch in the carpet and the floor creaked. Lexa winced and halted to a stop, waiting and listening for any movements from the girls. Raven’s snores were the only thing coming back to her. Lexa shook her head. They would really have to learn to be more alert and wake up to noises like that. The world wasn’t like how it used to be a month ago.  
Lexa opened the door, and quietly snuck out of the stifling room and into the hallway which seemed much cooler. Lexa remembered seeing a closet filled with boxes earlier when she had made her way to the bathroom. It looked like the closet Lexa had sat in all of those nights when she was hiding from her nightmares. Hiding from the drunk people her uncle always invited over and had parties with. Lexa silently squeezed herself into the small space, and settled herself behind the boxes where no doubt, she couldn’t be seen. She clasped her hands over her legs and pushed her knees against her chest, willing herself to breathe evenly. She blew on the sticky sweat settling against her skin and sighed. She was 18 years old and she was still sitting in closets when she was terrified. Not like that would be an option anymore soon enough. 

The closet door clicked open silently and Lexa tensed up, ready to fight if she had to. But what she didn’t prepare for was Clarke’s soft whisper, and reassurance. Clarke closed the door behind herself and tucked herself close into Lexa’s side, invading her space without a care in the world. 

“I heard you fitting in your sleep,” Clarke whispered against Lexa’s neck. “What were you dreaming of?” 

Lexa gulped and exhaled what she hoped was her fear of opening up. But those stone walls around her heart were still as sturdy as ever. 

“I can’t remember,” Lexa lied.

“Is that why you’re in here?” 

“Why are you in here? How did you know this is where I went?”

“This is where I go when I think about my dad,” Clarke admitted. “If it hurts too much, I usually come to Raven’s just to sit in here and get myself together. This always was the perfect place to be in times like that.” 

“What happened to him?” Lexa asked without thinking. It was Clarke’s turn to exhale. 

“He died. Cancer.” 

“Clarke, I didn’t-” 

“Yeah, I know.” Any previous malice Clarke held for Lexa seemed to drip away into the carpet of this closet. She didn’t know why she felt so calm talking to her about this. Maybe it’s because Lexa was so close to home without actually being truly apart of it. Maybe it’s because Lexa had always made her feel strange things she could never put a name to. 

“It was five years ago. But it still feels like yesterday sometimes.”  
“I bet you miss him,” Lexa whispered. 

“Very much. Every day.”

Lexa felt something in her chest crack. The walls were becoming less reliable. 

“My parents died in a car crash with my older brother and sister,” Lexa said softly. She felt Clarke wrap an arm around her and instead of flinching or pulling away, she leaned into the touch. 

“I was at home with a babysitter because I was too little to see this movie they all wanted to see. I was five. That was what I was dreaming about.”

Lexa suddenly felt exhausted from the small amount of information she spilled out to Clarke. And maybe Clarke senses it because she didn’t say anything and Lexa was grateful for that. Clarke felt at ease with the brunette in her arms and tried not to break the moment with a wrong word or pity line. She just held onto her until they both eventually fell asleep in what would usually be the worst position ever, but neither girl had slept better until then. 

 

///////////

 

Gunshots. There were too many gunshots for it to be another nightmare. And there was yelling. Screaming. Things being thrown to the floor. Things or people. Lexa shook awake and instantly reached to grab Clarke’s hand, hoping she was still there with her. When she felt the blonde’s warm hand slide into her own, her heart thudded only a little less frantically. They both sat there in the closet at the end of the hall, behind tall stacks of boxes, settled in fear. 

There was another gunshot and a frantic aven yelling, “Mom!” And the ordeal went on in slow minutes that stretched on into hours. When it was silent, Clarke began to stand up, but Lexa forced her back down. Clarke was about to complain when they heard pairs of footsteps come up the stairs. Men's’ voices filled the previous expanse of silence and Clarke felt the bile rise in her throat. She looked at Lexa in panic, but Lexa remained stoic, and raised a finger to her lips. 

When the footsteps got closer, Clarke gripped Lexa’s hand harder, she was worried she’d break bones. But as a hand settled on the doorknob, another shot rang out and the man outside the door cursed to himself. 

“Those little bitches!” He yelled as he zoomed down the stairs with another two sets of footsteps. 

Lexa stood up fast, and pulled Clarke with her. 

“We need to get out of here,” Lexa whispered. “And we need to hurry.” 

Lexa opened the door slowly and when she saw emptiness in the hall, she pulled Clarke out and made a run for the bathroom. 

“But Lexa, our stuff!” 

“Forget it we need to go!”, Lexa whispered harshly.

Clarke gave her a stubborn glare and ran back into Raven’s room where she saw Octavia’s and Raven’s stuff had gone. They had hopefully made it out of that mess. Her heart began to break. She shoved it away and picked up her and Lexa’s heavy bags before turning around to see a man in the doorway. He was dressed in ripped clothing and blood spatter had littered his unshaven face. The apocalypse had just begun and people were already starting to look like hoodlums. 

“Hey there, pretty girl,” He said in a thick southern accent. “Looks like you and me get to have a good time, huh?” The man made to step into the room but then thin yet muscular arms were around his neck choking him. He was kicked on the back of his knees so he fell over. He clawed at the arms around his neck and aimed for to claw at the face of his killer as well, but couldn’t make it. His face fell and he slowly stopped struggling as his eyes lost their sight right on Clarke. 

Clarke looked up at Lexa, stunned. She had just killed a person. A person that surely would’ve raped and killed her. 

Lexa ran over to Clarke, grabbed her hand and forced her out of the room and into the bathroom. Lexa had already opened the window before going to check on Clarke. Lexa threw their stuff out of it, and it landed on the ground with a dull thump. 

“You just-” Clarke stuttered. 

“Survival is the key to life now, Clarke. Let’s hope you’re ready for it.” Clarke stared into Lexa’s eyes and an odd feeling of safety settled in her tummy. 

Lexa gestured to the windowsill, letting Clarke go first. Knowing there was no time to waste, Clarke scrambled out of it and took a hard landing on the ground, wincing at the pain spreading through every inch of her body. Then, Lexa was beside her, grabbing her and holding her up. Clarke slung her backpack weakly over her shoulder and let Lexa hold her hand as they began to run towards the fields. 

“But Raven, and Octavia,” Clarke tried to object, but kept running despite it.

“Will survive,” Lexa reassured. 

Clarke didn’t say anything else. Both girls ran until their lungs were begging for a rest. Once they were far enough away, they collapsed in the field near a bunch of trees and panted out their exhaustion. Clarke felt the world as she knew was completely gone. Lexa felt the new world was just beginning. As she looked at Clarke, she couldn’t be happier to be stuck in it with her.


	2. Bursting with Candles

Chapter 2 - Bursting with Candles 

 

The wilderness outside of the small town they lived in was large. Completely large enough to be its own country maybe. And Clarke and Lexa were trekking it. They found other people along the way but all they tended to do was try to steal their stuff and Lexa didn’t take too kindly to that. When she threatened to cut off a man’s head, Clarke drug her away before it could be anything more than a slice to the kneecap and achilles. 

They still hadn’t come across any of the dead, but they didn’t necessarily plan to, either. The vast pieces of land surrounding them almost made Clarke feel as if she had some sort of forcefield around her. She knew anything could get her. Get them. But it brought some sort of unknown ease to her to be hiding in the multiple spines of trees. To be shrouded in constant brown and greenery. 

Lexa on the other hand was constantly alert. Lexa always took first watch when nighttime fell and they were too exhausted to keep going. Clarke would build a fire (she learned it in girl scouts) and Lexa would set blankets down on the ground even the hot sticky air was enough to warm them, they could definitely use not sleeping directly on twigs, dirt and bugs. Sometimes Lexa would let Clarke sleep the whole night through, which in turn made Clarke upset but Lexa was stubborn and refused to not let Clarke get the sleep she needed. 

The woods were comforting, yes. But they weren’t comfortable. They didn’t give the same security as a house did. It didn’t have four walls and a roof. Everything was open. And death was living on its tiptoes right around them in the threatening dark. Still, they were strong. As strong as they could be at least. 

They had been lucky and found an abandoned cave to stay in during the night when Clarke finally talked to her without an argument preparing to announce itself. That made Lexa feel lighter since all they seemed to do was bicker and fight over things. 

“Do you think it’s all settled down in town?” Clarke asked. “Maybe they got it all under control before everyone could fall sick.” 

Lexa bit her cheek and stared into the low fire they had made. 

“I don’t know. Everyone we’ve met since coming here has seemed to tell us that things have gotten worse. But I don’t know.” 

“We should go back and see.” 

“Clarke, it’s dangerous.” 

“But what if we’re hiding for no reason? What if everything is okay?” Clarke said with all of the hope she had seeping into her voice. It made Lexa’s heart ache. 

“Is that what you want to do? Go back to town?” Lexa asked and tossed another stick into the fire. 

Clarke nodded. “Yes. I want to know. Maybe Octavia and Raven are there.” 

Lexa knew it was likely that they weren’t. The two girls were smart. They probably fled to the woods just like Clarke and Lexa. But the hope Clarke emitted made Lexa feel something other than loss and despair. She felt, looking into those soft blue eyes, that she would do anything for Clarke if she asked. It scared her. She had never been that way with anyone. It wasn’t smart, and it was reckless, but her heart was softening, and with Clarke she just couldn’t help it. 

So they were back in town three days after that night. And it was absolutely crawling with dead, ill people with cravings for flesh and human meat. Intestines, juices, blood, livers, lungs, stomachs, hearts, anything in a human body. Clarke threw up five times. Lexa held her. The dead were hungry, but they were slow enough to run away from. There were herds of them, and then there were some that walked alone. There was a couple of men with their hands tied to each other so they would be together when they turned. The look of it made Lexa want to cry. She never cried. Not even when her parents died. She felt for those two men. She felt for all of these dead living people. And it hurt. Feelings hurt. 

There was no sight of Octavia and Raven, to Clarke’s disappointment. There wasn’t really sight of anyone. When they went into the town’s supermarket, they had to sneak in the back way since there were too many dead living near the entrance. 

“You have to be ready to kill if need be,” Lexa whispered to Clarke. “I don’t know how this thing spreads, but I’m guessing it’s with a bite. You can’t get bitten, okay?” 

Clarke nodded. 

When they went in, there was still tons of food left. There were too many people scared to have gone in, possibly. But they had to. Their stomachs were shrinking and they were growing frail. It was one of Lexa’s worst nightmares; bad health. Especially bad health for Clarke. 

They had to be sneaky, otherwise they could draw attention to themselves, and they could get cornered by the dead. They had to be quiet, and stealthy and sure. And it was hard when all the lights were out and they hadn’t had any flashlights. 

Lexa killed about ten of the dead whilst in that store, and Clarke killed none. She was shaking by the time they made their way back out into the blinding sunlight. Although she didn’t succeed with killing anything, she did manage to get a ton of supplies that would last them for awhile. Lexa got things too, but wanted to surprise Clarke with them when she could. 

They had made their way to Raven’s home to check if anyone was holding refuge there. But they were only met with the men that had tried to take over, leading to their flee. They were infected. And they filled Lexa with rage. She killed them all and coated herself in their blood. It glistened off of her dirty skin in the sunlight. Clarke stood by watching numbly. She did feel every single bone cracking hit right in her heart. 

Severing the brain killed them. Just like in every movie they had seen. Hollywood had its true deal with future seeking. And maybe the best form of training they had ever gotten. But none of it seemed to matter. They weren’t in some movie that people watched on Halloween, popping popcorn into their mouths and kissing when the end credits rolled over the screen. It was real life. It would be there forever. The world as they knew it was gone. 

When they were back in the woods, they were quiet. They were too exhausted to care, and extremely mentally drained from the day’s discoveries. The hope that Clarke had previously felt was gone and Lexa was back to feeling stone make up the entirety of her interior. 

They stayed like that for days. Silence surrounding them like a bunch of mosquitoes. Those, too were an issue. Those things probably carried the disease too. They took every chance they could to kill them. 

They made it back to the cave they once inhabited, and relief sunk Clarke’s chest. She felt safer in between those walls. Lexa seemed to as well. She finally slept when Clarke asked her to. And when she slept, she had nightmares loud enough to alert every living dead in the world. So Clarke would slide over to her, lay down behind Lexa, press her front against Lexa’s back and wrap her arms around her whilst shushing her and soothing her. Telling her that it was all going to be okay. They never spoke about it. And Lexa was thankful. 

They found a clearing near the other side of the cave and they both erupted in emotional goosebumps. Their skin was crying at the relief of bathing. Lexa turned around as Clarke stripped out of clothes and ran directly into the water. She let out a gasp at the cold water but closed her eyes in bliss at the wonderful feeling of being enveloped in water. 

Clarke turned and faced the mountains near the other side of the lake as Lexa stripped. It was a beautiful view and Clarke sighed contentedly when she felt Lexa swim next to her. 

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Clarke asked. 

“Yes, very,” Lexa replied. Though her eyes never left Clarke. 

 

When it first rained, they stood in it for awhile to admire the feel of drops splatting against their tongues. It reminded Clarke of the time when she was little, standing outside her house in her yellow raincoat and rubber crocodile boots, head tilted up and tongue stuck out as the rain descended from the sky. She remembered seeing Lexa sitting on her porch in a raggedy black wool sweater and sneakers, watching her. She remembered the happiness she felt with those green eyes on her. She remembered a happy time. A time she could never get back. But this time, Lexa was out there with her, head tilted, tongue out and green eyes still focused right on her. 

It was inevitable to stand in the rain for a long period of time and get sick right after. Clarke knew that and at the time, she didn’t care. While Lexa had only a mere stuffy nose, Clarke had a clogged, runny nose, a deathly cough and a thousand migraines all lined up to make her feel like her head would explode. 

Lexa took care of her in such a stoic way, yet Clarke felt so warm when Lexa rubbed her temples. She felt so light when Lexa patted her chest when the heavy burn from her cough took place. She felt safe in Lexa’s arms at night when she cried over the mental pain. They never talked about it. And that time, Clarke was glad. 

It was the night they ran out of food that Lexa became grumpy. She knew she was going to have to hunt, which was one of her least favorite things about survival. Her uncle Gustus had taught her how to do every single thing within the wild when she was only a young child. When he taught her how to skin a fish, she scrunched up her nose, but paid attention anyway. Somehow, with the way Gustus was so persistent in teaching her, she knew it was important. And she had been right. 

Clarke only served to get on her nerves even more. And it wasn’t the blonde’s fault, really. Lexa was just annoyed, and hungry and tired and all she wanted was to be back in her bed back home at her uncle Gustus’, sipping tea and watching history documentaries. The unsettling reminder that she would never be able to do that again only made her more irritated. 

Lexa was taking her dry clothes off of the boulder when Clarke stepped out of the cave and and covered the harsh glare of the sun with her hand. Lexa was more lethargic lately and Clarke could tell it was from their lack of food. She knew Lexa had training because she had seen all sorts of survival books on Lexa’s desk when they were in grade school, and she would see Lexa leave with her uncle on weekends with camping gear, and they would come back and Lexa always had an ice cream cone in her hand, and a cooler full of fish or meat in her uncle’s arms. Even Lexa’s last name was Woods. Still, she knew Lexa was dreading it somehow, even if it was so easy to kill the infected. 

“Lex!” Clarke called out. Lexa stilled. “I’m hungry. Can we please go hunt or something?” 

Lexa stood up and glared down at the blonde. 

“We? Are you kidding?” Lexa snorted. “Princess Clarke Griffin hunting for food? Why don’t you just go back and sit in the cave since you can’t even make yourself useful.” 

The words stung. Clarke felt a million wasp stings in her chest, but had no swelling or bumps to show it. Lexa didn’t even look sorry which only hurt Clarke even more. But then the hurt was replaced with anger and spite. Clarke marched back into the cave, grabbed her gun, and then stomped back out and continued on into the forest without giving Lexa a single look. Lexa sighed and jogged into the cave where she grabbed her machete and then followed Clarke. She knew what she said was harsh, and probably not even true, but she was too hungry and annoyed to even care. 

By the end of the day, they had actually gotten a rabbit. Well, to Lexa’s dismay, Clarke had. And though Clarke was proud, she didn’t give Lexa the satisfaction to show it. She grabbed the rabbit like the kill was nothing, turned back around and made way for their camp. Lexa ran behind to catch up with her. 

“You, uh, you really showed me didn’t you?” Lexa said sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck. 

Clarke stayed silent and continued to walk, eyes looking straight ahead at nothing in particular. 

“So you aren’t going to talk to me now?” 

Clarke suddenly stopped, and Lexa bumped into her. Clarke’s lips were pursed and her eyes held an emotion Lexa had not seen in them yet. Infuriation. 

“Go fuck yourself, Lexa,” She spat and made her way to the cave. Lexa stood there and let all of the guilt in the world hit her at once. She really truly messed up, and she knew it. God, and she felt it. She waited until there was a bit of distance between them, then began to drag herself back to the cave where there was already a dim shadow of orange flapping against the stone walls. 

Despite Clarke being angry at her companion, she didn’t want her to starve. They both ate the same amount and with the filling in their tummies, they felt a little better and less cranky. Lexa didn’t dare open her mouth and annoy Clarke, so she laid there, hands clasped on her tummy and stared at the ceiling of the cave. Cobwebs and some neighbors of bats blinked back at her, and she sighed. What in the hell had her life become? Looking over at the blonde, she then asked herself; What the hell had their life become? 

 

As the days went on, Clarke became less angry with Lexa, and Lexa began to talk more. They would talk about plans and their thoughts on what they would do if they needed to vacate their cave. They talked about the weather. They talked about things they already knew. They didn’t talk about the things they truly wanted to. 

But when Clarke said she was going to bathe in the lake, Lexa made it her goal to make the cave look as good as it could get before Clarke came back. Lexa rifled through her large bag, and felt the cool hardness of the candles against her fingertips. She had slid them into her bag when they had last been to town, and she hadn’t forgotten about them. She vowed that she would use them at the right time, and this time seemed to be it. She spread all five of them out throughout the cave, and lit them with the tiny bik lighter she had also dropped into her bag while they were in the supermarket. She then laid out their largest blanket on the dusty ground, propped their bags on the top like they were pillows, and set the sketchpad and charcoal pieces in the middle of the blanket. Lexa stood there, hands on her hips, with a proud smirk on her face. But the more she looked around, the more it looked like a romantic set up. Her blood went cold and nearly left her pale. Before she could move to fix it, Clarke stepped into the cave. Damp blonde hair fell just beneath her covered breasts, and beads of leftover water ran down her neck. 

Lexa’s mouth went dry at the sight of her and her heart began to race. Why were her emotions coming out right then? Why couldn’t she just hold them back and let Clarke enjoy her gift? Because she was truly sorry. Because she missed her. Because she really wanted to see Clarke smile again. 

Clarke looked around at the sight before her, and she could feel tears well up in her eyes before she realized what was really gone. She didn’t let those tears fall. 

“Lexa, what-”

“I’m really sorry,” Lexa blurted. She could feel her cheeks burning crimson. 

“I’m sorry about what I said to you that day we first went hunting. I was just irritated and hungry and I was completely out of control with what I said. I meant none of it. I don’t think of you as unhelpful. You are more than useful, Clarke. You’re brave, and you never complain and you’re the most optimistic despite our situation. You’re beautiful and kind and you didn’t deserve what I said, and I am just so sorry.” 

Clarke let Lexa ramble only because she, herself, was at a loss for words. Lexa didn’t blink the entire time she spoke, she only looked into Clarke’s widened eyes because she wanted the blonde to know she was sincere, and honest. Clarke broke out into a blinding grin and dove into Lexa’s arms. 

Lexa caught her in her arms and squeezed her softly. She inhaled the earthy flowery smell of Clarke’s skin, and nuzzled her nose in the crook of Clarke’s neck. The blonde rubbed soothing circles on Lexa’s back and leaned back so she could look Lexa in the eye. 

Before she could talk herself out of it, Clarke planted a light kiss on Lexa’s cheek. 

“You’re forgiven,” She whispered. 

Then she was out of Lexa’s arms and sitting on the blanket, flipping through the sketchpad and inhaling its bookish scent. Clarke patted the spot next to her, and Lexa eagerly joined. Clarke shook her head, and beamed at the pages. 

“How did you know I drew?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa’s cheeks burned red once again. 

“You were always outside coloring when we were little. Then when we got into highschool, you were the school’s best unknown artist. You hung your art up in the halls and no one took it down because they liked it so much. You’re so talented.”

Clarke looked at Lexa closely, her heart coming out of her eyes. 

“How did you know it was me?” 

Lexa looked down at her hands fumbling in her lap and smiled at the memory coming to her. 

“I knew because the style of the drawings was very similar to the homemade birthday card you slipped under my door when we were eight. You had drawn us holding hands, asking to be friends and for me to come to your party. It just came to me when I saw the artwork up in the hall. I knew it was you. You still drew hands so perfectly.” 

Clarke was in awe. She remembered sitting up late at night on her 8th birthday, knees drawn up to her chest, crying silent tears as Wells, Octavia, Raven, Bellamy, Murphy, Jasper, Monty, and Roan slept around her on their living room floor. She was upset Lexa hadn’t shown up. She always thought Lexa had just crumpled up the card and threw it in the trash, and continued to ignore her. She felt Lexa had hated her, and a huge part of her hated Lexa after that too. 

“Why didn’t you come to the party?” Clarke whispered. 

Lexa looked into Clarke’s baby blue eyes and picked at the loose thread of her jeans. 

“I knew you’d have all of your friends there. I didn’t think they liked me. I was always really quiet and people picked on me for it. I was never much for social events. I did get you a balloon and when I tried to walk up to your porch the next day to give it to you, the rose thorns on the bushes popped it and uncle Gus wouldn’t get me another. I guess I was just too shy to talk to you.” 

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand, and Lexa tensed up. 

“I thought you hated me,” Clarke chuckled. 

“I thought you hated me!” Lexa laughed. 

“Looks like neither of us hate each other.” 

“That seems to be so.”  
The air was thicker then as the two got lost in each other’s eyes. Lexa wanted to tell Clarke she still had that card with her. So she did, and Clarke nearly teared up as Lexa pulled out a dusty, folded piece of yellow paper that had Clarke’s 8 year old handwriting in red crayon in it. Then the drawing of the two of the holding hands on the front. 

Clarke stared at the aged piece of paper for a long time, and leaned in to give Lexa a kiss on the cheek once more. Lexa spent that night touching the spot Clarke’s lips had been planted on her skin twice. 

When Lexa finally fell asleep, Clarke began her first work of art in a very long time. She looked at her watch and thought of her dad. He would’ve been happy she got stuck with Lexa. 

She shaded Lexa’s face in the firelight and focused hard on the dip of her pouty lips, and her heavy eyelashes casting shadows along her cheeks. The sharpness of her jaw. The long fingers under the side of her head. The curve of her neck. Clarke drew her until the sun began to rise in a warm orange hello.

Lexa slept through the entire night without a single trace of nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually been getting more hits on this than I thought I would. Just want to thank you all so much. Your comments give me the loves, and I absolutely enjoy the fact that you're enjoying this fic as well as my others. Thank you!


	3. Fear is a Place to Live

Chapter 3 - Fear is a Place to Live

 

Blood coated the curtains, the wardrobe, the carpet, the bed sheets. It was an old crusty dark red color and if it were fresh, it would have had a metal kind of smell. Clarke opened up the wardrobe and wiped the blood on her jeans. Some shirts hung up and a set of black jeans sat folded neatly on the bottom. They looked too small to fit her, but she knew they would fit Lexa. She took them all. 

The room still had traces of a normal teenager. Aside from the blood and the decaying body on the bed, it looked as if nothing had happened. Posters hung on the wall and loads of makeup piled up on the dresser along with fat textbooks and magazines with dumb quizzes that answer your question of is he really that into you? Clarke shook her head. 

It had been approximately four to five months since the outbreak. Four to five months since she’d seen her mother. Months since she heard Octavia and Raven’s comforting voices. Days beyond days of being around no one but Lexa. It was slowly killing her. Not in the ways it had before. The times have changed and so has her entire outlook on her companion. She was extremely attracted to Lexa and couldn’t help but rubbing her legs together whenever Lexa lifted a heavy item, or drooling over the brunette’s green eyes and plump lips in her sleep. Their dynamic had definitely changed in a good way. And that was the reason why Clarke didn’t want to act upon her desires for the other girl. She didn’t want to wreck things with the person she was spending the end of the world with. 

Lexa was ransacking cupboards when she heard a thump from upstairs. She zoomed up the stairs in a matter of mere seconds and ran into the room she heard the noise from. Clarke stood staring at her apologetically as a large box television sat shattered on the carpet. Little glass shards coated the floor and Lexa shook her head at the blonde. Clarke shrugged and walked past Lexa, brushing her shoulder as she went. 

The house was just another they had looted. Just another old place abandoned to rot in the earth’s decay. It had an old volkswagon in the garage that had its keys in the ignition but wouldn’t start. They had previously travelled back to Raven’s old house to try to get Clarke’s car to work but someone had stolen the battery. They were testing their luck every day, but they figured that’s just how life was going to be from then on. 

Lexa had killed too many infected to count. Clarke had killed as much as she could before vomiting her stomach out. They had been on the road for months since their little camp at the cave was overrun by a humungous herd of dead. They got their stuff, or what they could get, and they ran until their legs gave out and their lungs were sure to combust. They were getting used to the world’s harsh ways and still had not come in contact with another living person. That thought scared both of them the most. 

When Lexa trudged back down the stairs, Clarke followed her and sighed heavily at the expanse of the house that was nearly already ransacked. 

“I found you clothes,” the blonde said. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Mhm.”

“There wasn’t any for you?” Lexa asked and closed the door of the pantry. 

“None my size.” 

Lexa stood up straight and glanced over Clarke’s body. The supple curves sticking through her old dirty clothing. The curve and weight of her breasts leaving the cleavage to pop out gorgeously. Her hips jutting out only to lead into slender thighs. Lexa raked her eyes shamelessly over the blonde and felt her mouth go dry. Clarke blushed at Lexa’s obviously ogling and lifted a hand to rub nervously at the back of her neck. 

Lexa snapped out of her stupor and locked eyes with Clarke. The blonde’s big blue orbs were so inviting, Lexa wouldn’t mind staring into them forever. In fact, she preferred to. 

“Well, we’ll have to look around more for your size,” Lexa rasped. The sound of her own voice surprised her and made her turn away as her cheeks turned crimson. 

A dull thump sounded throughout the house, and the two women stopped. Their breathing even stopped trying to listen for another sound. After ongoing minutes, they heard a low groan from the basement. Lexa glanced to Clarke, and Clarke nodded to her, placing her hand over the cool armor of her gun. 

Lexa took out her machete and her own gun she had looted off one of the dead a month or two ago, and led the way down a messy hallway filled with old trash, bloodstains, and old picture frames without the family pictures that would’ve occupied them previously. There was a door by the stairway with a padlock on it that had been busted open, and the door was open just a crack. 

Clarke got out her flashlight as quietly as she could, and clicked it on. Lexa pushed the door all the way open, and it creaked and groaned in protest. Clarke pointed the stream of light into the dark abyss of the basement and scrunched her eyebrows at the illumination of concrete walls and small cob webs. Lexa slowly stepped inside, and began to walk down the creaky wooden stairs with Clarke in tow. 

The immediate smell of death rushed to them and nearly knocked them over. They were used to the rotting smell of decay by then. But the overpowering gust over it was almost too much to bear. There was too much in one sniff, too much dead. And when Clarke took the last step into the room beside Lexa, she had to put her sleeve up to her nose and inhale hard to stop herself from vomiting. Her clothes weren’t exactly the epitome of flowers and honey and perfume. But it was something. 

Lexa took the flashlight from Clarke and flashed it towards the walls and both women gasped at what was there in the dull stream of light. Bodies, dead living bodies, nailed to the no longer stone walls. The wood was scratched as if by someone’s nails and the bodies hung by their arms and legs, hammered into the walls like famous paintings in an art museum. One was on the dusty ground, reaching out for them with a boney hand, skin dripping off the stressed arm and onto the dirt ground. It groaned and thrashed its body in a turtle like speed. It was sick. It was wrong. 

“What the hell is this?” Clarke finally breathed out, exasperated. 

“Someone’s sick holy grail,” Lexa murmured and made her way to the lone body on the ground. 

She stuck her machete through its skull and watched its ministrations halt. The groaning only served to grow louder from the rest of the dead on the walls as if watching their friend die on the ground pained them. As if they had feelings anymore. When the threat to potential danger dissipated, Lexa sheathed her machete and tucked her gun back in her jeans and took out her own flashlight.

“This is- This is just absolutely-” 

“Fucked?” Lexa supplied for Clarke’s loss for words. 

“Yes. Fucked.” 

Clarke walked over to a woman with her hair falling to piles on the ground beneath her. The dead woman struggled against the wall, wanting to reach out and take a bite right out of Clarke’s fresh skin. Clarke ran her hand along the decaying skin of the woman’s collarbone and scooped the heart pendant resting there onto her fingertips. Lexa shone the light on it, and studied Clarke. 

“You can take it if you want, you know?” Lexa whispered. 

Clarke furrowed her eyebrow for a moment as if mulling it over in her mind. She closed her eyes and shook her head, letting the gold penant go. 

“It’s this woman’s. It probably meant something to her when she was alive. I don’t need it anyway.” And with that, Clarke made her way over to the next dead on the wall.   
Lexa looked at Clarke’s wrist where her father’s watch once remained. It had broke when they had to hide in the river from a group of scraggly men. Lexa had pulled Clarke out of the river, and the broken watch was floating downstream along with Clarke’s heart. She knew how badly that had hurt Clarke. And in turn, it hurt her too. Lexa pulled her machete out once more, and plunged it into the paper thin skull and the others groaned louder. Clarke eyed her suspiciously and Lexa shrugged. 

Lexa walked over to a small chest on the ground decorated with old children’s ABC stickers and magic marker scribbles. Lexa bent down and lifted it open where a bunch of notes sat along with an old empty donut box that read “Raspberry Filled.” She ran her finger over the folded pages and grabbed one out. Unfolding it, messy handwriting awaited her. 

“No sign of human characteristics, emotions or intelligence. The sex is the same.” 

Lexa cringed at the writing and threw it back into the box, then pulled out another. 

“I have trapped them in the metal room to see if they could mate. After being bit, I finally got them into position. They had zero sexual desire whatsoever. They just wanted to eat. Eat eat eat. That’s all these things do.” 

Clarke bent down next to Lexa. “What’s it say?” 

“This dude was sick. Sex crazy. But I guess he was experimenting the infected. Tried to make them breed.” Lexa handed the note over to Clarke and picked up a new one. 

“The bite has bubbled and I am growing weaker. It looks like a million large blisters on top of one another. They itch like a mother fucker. My mind is growing foggy, and I’m getting dizzy. My experiments shall be on hold until I can collect myself. Until then, I need to leave. Get help. God help me.” 

Lexa snicked and threw the note back into the box. 

“Looks like there is no god, pal.” 

Clarke looked up from the note she read and nodded her agreeance. She threw the letter back into the box, and slammed it shut earning more desperate groans from the dead. Clarke reached over and took the machete from Lexa’s hip and walked to the nearest pinned up infected. 

“Clarke what are you doing?” The brunette asked. 

Clarke sunk the blade into the skull of the infected and watched as it slumped, completely lifeless at last. 

“I’m ridding them of this eternal torture. Who’s to say they haven’t been completely freed yet?” Clarke sighed and moved onto the next one. Lexa didn’t stop her. 

When Clarke killed every last infected body in that room, she made her way up the stairs without a look back. Lexa began to follow but then stopped in her tracks and flashed her light onto the woman they had first examined. Lexa walked up to the dead woman pinned to the wall and stared at the gold pendant. It glittered under the closeness of the light and Lexa’s heart was set. She reached her hand around the back of the dead woman’s neck and unclasped the necklace. It fell gracefully into her hand. Lexa squeezed it in her palm and dropped it into the breast pocket of her flannel. 

“Lexa!” Clarke shrieked from upstairs. Lexa’s blood instantly ran cold. 

Lexa shot up the stairs and nearly ran into Clarke’s stiff back once back at the top and into the sunlight filtering into the house through cracks of wooden boards and curtains. Lexa glanced ahead and saw the massive herd that made itself at home before them. Hungry mouths snapped in eagerness, for their meat. They filled in through the front door, the back door, some windows. They were everywhere. 

Clarke turned around and looked at Lexa with wide, scared eyes. Lexa grabbed her hand and pulled her up the stairs and into the bedroom at the end of the hall. The bedroom with the king size bed and an even bigger dresser. Lexa grabbed the side of the dresser and motioned for Clarke to come help her push. Soon, the dresser and bed were pushed against the door, and two heaving chests were collapsed on the mattress. Clarke and Lexa stared into each other’s eyes as they heard the infected throw themselves against the door. 

“What are we going to do? We can’t just wait it out,” Clarke whispered. 

“We’ll stay here for the night. We’ll climb out of the window tomorrow. There’s too many out there right now.” 

Clarke nodded at Lexa’s words and scooted her body closer to Lexa’s. Lexa wrapped her arms around the blonde uncertainly, hoping she was okay with it. When Clarke huddled into her further, she got her answer and she felt her body relax. 

They stayed like that well into the night. The groans and thuds against the door only let up when the moon swam freely in the sky. Lexa stared down at the blonde in her arms and felt her heart swell. She leaned down and kissed Clarke’s cheek softly. Looking at the relaxed face her companion possessed, she couldn’t feel bad for it. 

The next morning, the jumped from the window and nearly broke their legs. They ran and rand and ran until they had gotten enough distance from the hell house. Clarke had woken up with the heart pendant around her neck and resting nicely just beneath her clavicle. When Lexa wouldn’t meet her eye, she smiled and held the heart between her thumb and index finger. Lexa was going to be the one to kill her in the apocalypse. Just with how much she makes her heart race and how heavily she makes her blush. With how much love she was giving her. Could Clarke call it love? 

They camped out in the open, in the belly of the woods surrounded by trees and dark. When Lexa sat close to Clarke and said she would take first watch whilst staring in the fire, Clarke wanted to argue. But the look on Lexa’s face told her she should do otherwise. 

When Clarke woke the next morning welcomed with the sun, and a thin hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on her back, she knew she could call it love. 

Clarke sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, blinking at Lexa. 

“I told you to wake me up after a few hours,” Clarke grumbled. 

Lexa shrugged. “You looked peaceful. Don’t see that often. Beautiful. Well, I mean you’re always beautiful. But god, when you’re relaxed. I just love seeing you be able to not be consumed with fear for awhile. I don’t know.” 

Clarke sat up beside her companion and scooted closer. 

“Plus, you’re kind of cranky when you’re sleepy.” 

Before Lexa could even try to laugh at her own joke, dry yet soft lips were slowly massaging her own. Alarmed, Lexa sat shock still. When Clarke was about to pull away, Lexa placed her hands on both of her cheeks and pushed her lips harder against the blonde. They kissed in fervor as every single thing built up for one another in the past few months slowly spilled out of their mouths and into the dancing of their lips. 

When they needed to breathe, they separated but didn’t go far. Lexa rested her head against Clarke’s and closed her eyes as they bliss washed over her entire body. Any sense of fatigue she was feeling before had long since gone. 

“Thank you for the necklace,” Clarke whispered and pecked Lexa quickly on the lips. 

Lexa let out a breathy chuckle. “You’re welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally kissed! (I say as it's only chapter 3). I'm sorry this chapter is so short and doesn't really have much interesting content in it. I've been so busy and writing has been so hard to do. Please be patient with me from now on. I promise that I will always make time for writing and I'll work to make my Clexa fics good quality. I just need a bit of time. Summer is coming soon and I'll be writing like crazy then. I'm so glad to know you're all enjoying it though. Thank you for being so patient though and thank you for reading!


	4. I Will Protect You

Chapter 4 - I Will Protect You

 

It had been three days since they kissed each other. And both were sitting, stewing in their own sexual desire for each other. They hadn’t mentioned it, because really, they couldn’t. They were surviving off of mere drops of water and crumbs of old granola bars. They couldn’t find game to hunt, and they were becoming more lethargic within each passing day. Lexa had never felt so unhealthy before. 

Clarke knew all about being unfit. She spent her evenings usually drinking her liver to a shrunken apple core whilst at parties with her friends, or staying up at night watching Gilmore Girls and sleeping well into the afternoon. She would rather be ripped apart by the infected than run. But that wasn’t true. She had been running for months. And the most mysterious and gorgeous girl she’d known since she was just a little girl was running beside her. And though sometimes her vision would go gray and fuzzy, Lexa always seemed to be in focus. 

No, they hadn’t spoken about the kiss, but they had both felt it on their lips since it happened. Tingling, and heavy on chapped, smooth skin. Lexa thought Clarke’s breath had actually smelt good which was a shock considering the lack of hygiene the apocalypse offered. She smelled of vanilla peaches pickled in bloody jars. Just a dash of blood, just the smallest hint of copper. Then juicy, fruitful vanilla sighs and lips, lips lips. 

Lexa had tripped over a twig whilst they walked along one of the many clear ground of the woods, and Clarke lifted an eyebrow at her. Lexa shrugged sheepishly and shook the blush from her cheeks and the thoughts from her mind. She was sure Clarke had to be thinking about it too. As always, Lexa was correct. 

Clarke couldn’t get the physical touch out of her mind. It sat in her frontal lobe taunting her to forget about the grumble of her stomach and desert on her tongue begging to be rained on with fresh water. Lexa’s lips were soft even though they were chapped. They were like pebbles with soft snow and pizza dough laid over them with a warm honey drizzle. Such an odd and lovely mix. Clarke can recall kissing Finn Collins freshman year and his lips were chapped and dry like a muddy gravel road with food litter and roadkill liquids. It was unpleasant, but not entirely so. His tongue had been too rough and it reminded her of the porn she had watched with Raven and Octavia in her bedroom- the man going at the woman like a jackhammer. Only then, she had completely been disgusted and pulled away. No, Lexa’s kiss was pure heaven to the one she had experienced with Finn. He was nice enough, and accepted her not ever speaking about it again. 

But Clarke didn’t want to not speak about her and Lexa’s kiss ever again. She wanted to talk about in a sultry voice to show Lexa she wanted more. God, did she want more. She wanted to relive the kiss over and over again, deepen it, roam it farther. She wanted to roam her hands over Lexa’s grimy yet smooth skin and feel her hips knock against hers and-  
“Did you hear that?” Lexa asked and reached an arm out to stop Clarke from walking further. Clarke willed her hormones a rest and opened her mind to her ears. 

“No?” 

Lexa stared into the distance intensely, her arm still against Clarke’s tummy. 

“I heard a man’s voice,” Lexa whispered.

“Are you sure?” 

Lexa waited a couple of minutes to listen before dropping her arm back to her side and continued to walk. 

“I don’t know, but we should be extra careful now. Be on the lookout and more alert,” Lexa’s tone wasn’t barked in an order, but rather a comprehensive instruction. Clarke nodded. 

They walked into an abandoned road thirty minutes later and Clarke felt uneasy. Lexa began to walk along it and stopped a little ways ahead once she realized Clarke hadn’t been following her. 

“What’s wrong?” Lexa asked. 

Clarke rubbed nervously at her arm. “I feel too exposed on the road.” 

“We need to get to the nearest town to see if we can find a trace of food. Look,” Lexa pointed at a yellow sign with bullet holes decorating it. “Look, we’re almost to Cedar City. We need to be careful, but we can do it. Come on.” 

“Christ, we’ve seriously come all the way from Richfield to Cedar City? How did we travel this far?” Clarke said and began to trek towards Lexa. 

“It’s been quite awhile,” Lexa shrugged. “If we keep going past Cedar City after we check for food, we might end up in Nevada.” 

They began to walk side by side on the road past the sign and the trees. 

“Maybe we can go to the beach once we hit California. We can avoid the large cities. There are some private beaches my older sister had been to before.” Lexa mentioned. 

Clarke smiled and breathed in the contaminated, yet fresh air. “I would love that. I’m getting sick of these damn mountains.” 

Lexa laughed. “Me too, believe me.” 

 

Town was overrun with the dead. The two young women had been in the abrupt change of the world for only months and they were used to it. They knew where to hide, where to avoid and what to go to. They passed a large Holiday Inn, and a small diner called Hermies. That part had stradlers along the road, but herds were not present. The herds were reserved to downtown Cedar City where places like Dollar Tree and Great Clips stood scathed by death. 

They hit some wonderful jackpot when they ran across a small untouched market on the side of the road by an old gas station. A man stood behind the desk, and Clarke nearly felt the shock waves hit her body when she thought it was a real live person. She hadn’t seen another person aside from Lexa in ages and it startled her. But upon the doorbell jingling when they entered the front door, the man had turned around and revealed yellowed, dead eyes and a dropped jaw, and Clarke felt herself relax. 

Lexa’s blade was in his skull before Clarke could blink, and she watched the body drop dead to the floor, hitting its head on the cash register with a sharp ‘ping’ on the way down. The black tray shot out and piles of money and change sat in their respective compartments. Lexa eyed it and sighed. 

“No need for it now.” And then the brunette was walking down an isle, examining the various types of junk food and sweets. 

Clarke walked around the cubby of the desk and walked through the small gate trapping the now dead man behind the counter. Clarke knelt down beside the body and lifted the name tag off of the green apron. It read in simple handwriting, “Sam.” Clarke let go of it and searched through the man’s pockets. She found a lighter and slipped it into her bag. Then a set of nail clippers, a small joke book the size of a sticky note, and an old, worn leather wallet with fraying edges. Clarke flipped it open and stared at the photograph of the man with two children, a girl and boy with blonde hair, and a woman with kind eyes and a red flowy summer dress, and himself smiling at the camera. Clarke looked back down at the dead man’s lifeless face, and her heart ached. To have died at work, and not have made it back to his family. She wondered if they were still alive. She wondered if her own mother and Marcus were still alive. 

Clarke slipped the wallet back into his jeans pocket and bagged everything else with a harsh wheeze of breath, then stood up on shaky legs. She glanced back at the body before leaving the area. 

“Rest easy, Sam,” she murmured and walked away. 

She met Lexa in the back where tall glass doors lined the walls. Lexa stood in front of the once refrigerated alcohol, and began to loot as many bottles as she could carry of hard liquor including some beers and ciders. 

Clarke lifted an eyebrow at her, as she usually did, and Lexa rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.” 

“Oh, I have,” the blonde folded her arms. “Just didn’t think we’d need that many.” 

Lexa glanced from her bag, to Clarke, then back to her bag again and nodded sadly. She began to put all of the bottles back and stopped at Jim Beam whiskey and a large bottle of Grey Goose. Lexa looked up at Clarke, holding up the bottles, and Clarke nodded in approval. Lexa bagged them along with some Angry Orchard green apples, and left the rest of the alcohol for some other lucky bastards. 

They had taken it easy on the sweets and had tried to focus more on the healthy stuff they could cook like the boxed mac and cheese and rice. Clarke bagged some roasted peanuts, pistachios, dark chocolate that was nearly melted, and every flavor and brand of granola bars the convenience store stocked. Lexa bagged some fruits that were still in baskets under the magazines and crosswords puzzles. Lexa grabbed a mini crossword puzzle too and threw it in with the apples. Lexa also found some old ragged blankets in the backroom. It was just their lucky day.

Clarke lifted a package of Twinkies up and grinned at the brunette. Lexa snorted and shook her head as she searched the isle for some ware and tare equipment. 

“Remember that movie Zombieland?” Clarke asked and threw a few Twinkies into her heavy bag. “How Woody Harrelson just wanted to find his damn Twinkies? I think we beat him to it.” 

The blonde giggled and Lexa joined her. The mood was light after they had found the place and they were relieved their stomachs would be full, and they could hydrate themselves with oversized water bottles and dehydrate themselves later on in a secure place with some alcohol and sweets. They were happy for the first time, and maybe they both thought about kissing each other once again. 

When they left the store, more dead had staggered onto the road, but it wasn’t anything they couldn’t handle or avoid. They took out some of them whilst taking more back roads, and heading to the red velvet mountains where they figured they would camp for the night. 

The sun began to wade its way through the milky, purple sky towards the mountains and the moon was beginning to rise in its happy hello. The air was muggy but it began to grow colder as they continued on until the town disappeared and the gurgles and groans from the infected had long since vanished. 

Lexa and Clarke set up their camp on the dusty desert ground, and took out their flashlights to shine upon the food loot nestled into their bags. They feasted on Twinkies and packaged out of date apple pies that night, and drank their water in small, grateful sips. The moon bathed them in unashamed spotlight as they lay on their backs side by side on the old blankets, backpacks beneath their heads and full tummies. 

Clarke glanced over at Lexa, and basked in her beauty. Her sharp jaw line that could cause much more damage than her machete, her fine, round cheekbones just beneath her sparkling green eyes, her pouty, kissable lips that had felt so good against her own. Clarke bit her lip to stifle an involuntary moan. She opted to talking about things she had wondered about Lexa instead. 

“So you lived with your uncle, Gus,” Clarke spoke in a gravelly voice. 

Lexa nodded. 

“When you came into my house that first day, you said you were alone too. Why? Where was he?” 

Lexa visibly swallowed a thick wad of spit and words, and Clarke watched her throat bob. 

“He was away at some girlfriend’s. This one being the fifth one this year. But I usually stay out of his business. He would tell me he was going to so and so’s for awhile and that he would be back. And sometimes he would stay away for months at a time. Whenever he was home, we sort of just… Co-existed.” 

“How long had he been gone before the sirens blared?” Clarke twisted a strand of Lexa’s chestnut hair around her index finger. 

“Two weeks or so. I figured he wouldn’t come back. He knew I could survive. He was the one who taught me.” 

“So that’s what you would be doing on the weekends? I thought it was just regular camping,” Clarke said, confused. 

Lexa turned her head away from the stars to instead look at the ones in Clarke’s shadowed blue eyes. She was surprised Clarke had known they would go every week when she was little. Maybe little Clarke really had just wanted Lexa be to her friend. The thought made Lexa’s heart hurt. 

“He had a ton of apocalypse survival books in his study at home. He would let me read them, and they really truly were interesting and helpful. It wasn’t just about zombies. It was about nuclear war, and disease that didn’t just lead to dead walking. They were interesting. But yes, he would teach me how to survive in case something like this happened.” 

“It was a good call then,” Clarke smirked. 

“I suppose so,” Lexa shrugged, not breaking eye contact with the beautiful blonde beside her. 

Clarke’s relaxed face then contorted into a serious one. 

“Do you think he’s still alive?” 

Lexa exhaled and turned her head back up to the sky. “Probably. He wasn’t a quitter. He made sure I wasn’t, either.” 

“I’m glad I got stuck with you, Lexa,” Clarke whispered. 

When Lexa looked back at the blonde, she had her eyes closed without the tell tale signs of flutter or unease. She had fallen asleep just like that, cuddles into Lexa’s side. Lexa gripped Clarke’s hand in her own. 

“Me too.” 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

There were a lot of things Lexa least expected. One being Clarke showing up half naked in her dreams begging her to kiss her. Calling… her name. Calling her name. Calling her… name. 

“Lexa… Lexa… Lexa!... Lexa!” 

And she was awake, and tense and shocked and her body was violently shaking with adrenaline. Men. There were men. Two of them that she could count. One of them had Clarke. One was skinny and rustic. The other was bulky with only muscles could be mistaken for fat. One was holding her hands behind her back, pressing a gun into the back of her hand. One had Clarke. One. Had. Clarke. 

Lexa thrashed against the person behind her holding her in place, despite the cool metal of the gun sticking to the sticky skin of her lower back from her shirt riding up. A light, cigarette stained voice chuckled from behind her and gripped her wrists painfully harder. Clarke had tears streaking down her cheeks, carrying remnants of dirt with them. Lexa’s chest was rising and falling equivalent to the speed of a shooting star shooting through space, in heaps. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down. Beat beat. Beat beat. Beat beat. Her heart was hammering and she could feel it too sensitively. 

The muscled man holding Clarke, tilted the blonde’s chin up while gazing into Lexa’s emerald forest fire eyes. He stuck his blackened tongue along the column of Clarke’s neck and the blonde whimpered uncomfortably. Lexa thrashed once more, but the man holding her only pressed the fun harder into her back. How had she slept through the panic? Had she really been that tired? It wasn’t impossible. 

“You’re fine pieces of meat,” Muscle Man muttered against Clarke’s skin. “Me and Roody here like meat. Some fine ass meat like the both of ya’s.” 

Lexa inwardly cringed at the man’s words. Meat. Women were always meat. Not this time. 

Lexa knew she would be injured. There was no way of escaping this without it. Injured, or dead, she had to make sure Clarke got out of it alive. Lexa stood there and watched until the right time came along. Clarke’s eyes begged her, and Lexa’s eyes reassured her the best they could that she was going to do something. She wouldn’t let Clarke get hurt. 

When Muscle Man pushed Clarke harshly onto the ground onto her knees, he made her spread out on all fours, while ripping the threads of her clothes. When he exposed her bum, Lexa was nearly foaming at the mouth with anger. Control. She always had control. That’s the one thing she would always have. 

She felt the gun soften against her back, and pull away a little, as the skinny man behind her had taken one hand away from his grip on Lexa’s wrists and started to undo his belt. Lexa felt something hard hit her hip and she willed herself not to vomit. Not when Clarke was about to be molested. It was time. 

Without warning, Lexa thrust her head back as hard as she could and bashed the back of her skull hard against the man’s nose, and was welcomed with a sickening crack. The gun went off, but Lexa didn’t pay mind to it as she grabbed it from the ground where the man behind her had dropped it in favor of cupping his bleeding nose. Lexa blasted a shot through the forehead of the skinny man, and then turned to Muscle Man, pointed the gun, and grazed her finger over the trigger, only to halt at the fact he was using Clarke as a human shield, pressing a small blade to her neck. 

Clarke’s eyes were bloodshot and fatigued as she scraped at the man’s stubby fingers gripping onto her collarbone. 

“Either you take our lives, or you let me get off and all of us live. Your choice, smokin’,” The man said and gripped Clarke tighter. 

Lexa chuckled at his blank knowledge of her. Her uncle Gus had told her she was the best shot he’d ever seen. She was better than him at eight years old. 

With moving the gun only a mere inch, Lexa said harshly, “That woman you got there is my life. I will not let you taint her, you blasted, bloody chode mother fucker.” 

Another shot had blasted and a bullet grazed just the side of his temple. He fell backward, and onto the ground, still conscious howling in pain. The knife he had against Clarke’s neck only served to leave a small scratch in its fall. 

Lexa picked up her machete from the blanket on the ground and pushed past Clarke, standing above the man who stared up at her and begged for mercy. She smiled happily, before swinging the machete down onto the man’s face and splitting it open. She pulled it out and smashed into it again. Then again, and again, and again. 

Clarke watched as Lexa drained her adrenaline on the man who nearly raped her, and her own blood was beginning to settle down. Lexa’s arms flexed and glistened in sweat against the moon beams as she sliced the man’s skull into a bloody, brainy sludge. Clarke walked over to Lexa slowly and reached out to touch her shoulder tentatively, causing Lexa’s ministrations to slower and soften. 

“That’s enough, Lex. It’s all over now,” Clarke whispered in the brunette’s ear. “Come on, honey. It’s over. It’s okay.” 

Clarke’s soothing words and touches lowered her down from her adrenaline induced high, and she dropped the blood stained machete to the ground. She turned in Clarke’s arms and swallowed her up into a tight hug that said everything she couldn’t manage to say with her own words. Her tongue was fat in her mouth, and her throat was dry as she began to sob against the blonde. 

The blonde stroked her hair and let out tears of her own. They drenched the fabric of Lexa’s shirt, and Lexa’s own hot salty tears ran down Clarke’s goosebump covered shoulder blades. Her clothes were ripped and ravaged, and Lexa’s worried tears were showering her in drops of warmth. The raw affection perspiring between them was a summer no season had ever seen. 

The night was still and quiet after that. Not even the dead could utter a sound. A sticky, hot liquid stuck to Lexa's thigh and she glanced down at a pool of blood spreading over the fabric of her jeans. That was when the pain finally came. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter just seemed to come to me. My girlfriend is sleeping beside me, my nose is peeling painfully from a sunburn, there's ants in our bed from spilled coffee in the window jam and we've opened it and accidentally let them in because we couldn't stand the burning hell hole heat that filled our room, and I've still managed to get this entire chapter out. It's getting serious. Lexa shows her raw, and emotional side for the first time and they help each other through it. I loved writing this chapter. The next one I think all of you will really enjoy. Thank you so much for reading and I love reading comments so leave some! And thanks for all of the kudos, they make me incredibly happy. Keep sending the cool happy stuff my way!


	5. Rotting In Vain

“Clarke, I-” Lexa struggled to speak but she was distracted by the black spots covering her vision. The sun was extremely close to rising, and Clarke’s face was illuminated by soft light, showing pure worry. 

“Shh,” Clarke protested and swung Lexa’s arm over her shoulder. “My mother was a doctor. I know what to do. I just need the right things.” 

The blonde sounded conflicted. She knew she couldn’t take Lexa into town, not while she had a shot in her thigh, and by the looks of the massive amount of blood soaking the fabric of her jeans, she knew she was bleeding out fast. Her heart began to race as she looked around their makeshift campsite. The two dead bodies of devilish men on the ground, the fire that had long since gone out, the blankets crumbled and strewn carelessly over the dirt. She looked down at her companion and saw that her eyes were blinking closed. She had no choice but to do what she had to do. 

“Okay, Lexa I need to go into town,” Clarke said and gingerly sat the brunette on both her and Lexa’s blankets. A look of pure panic shot through Lexa’s eyes and Clarke felt it in her heart. 

“You can’t Clarke! It’s packed, it’s got dead everywhere! There might be more men like these!” Lexa waved lethargically over to the bodies near her. “It’s not safe. You know how you are with the infected. You can’t go!” 

“We don’t have a choice, Lexa!” Clarke yelled in her own panic. Lexa opened her mouth to say something but then snapped it shut when Clarke’s determined stare told her she wouldn’t back down. She was the definition of stubborn. 

Lexa bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, and nodded her head. 

“Then take every weapon.” 

Clarke shook her head. “You need something to defend yourself with just in case.”

Clarke bent down and put a gun beside Lexa on the blanket. A large ripping sound hit the air, and Lexa’s eyes blinked open as Clarke ripped strips of cloth from her shirt, and pulled Lexa’s pant leg up. It resisted going any further and Clarke grumbled in irritation. Her hands hovered over the button of Lexa’s jeans and locked eyes with her. 

“I need to take these off so I can tie this around the wound and slow the blood flow.” 

 

Lexa nodded feverishly and Clarke tried to dismiss Lexa’s frantic breathing as part of just being shot. Clarke popped the button and slowly pulled the blue denim down Lexa’s legs. Lexa hissed harshly as the sticky blood separated from her wound and sent spikes of hot pain down her legs. Clarke wrapped the ripped pieces of cloth around the bleeding hole tight, and Lexa whimpered. Clarke looked up at her and smiled apologetically before gently pulling the jeans back up over the girl’s mile-long legs. 

Clarke then took her own gun and Lexa’s machete and grabbed her pack before casting Lexa one last glance. The brunette was shifting into unconsciousness. Clarke slowly walked over to her and placed her lips softly onto Lexa’s full ones before pulling back and locking ocean eyes with forest ones. 

“I’ll be right back to take care of you. I promise.” Clarke whispered. 

Lexa only nodded. She watched Clarke examine her thigh before turning towards town and walking away. Lexa watched her until she was just a moving blob in the distance. Lexa’s shot wound throbbed painfully, and her heart ached. Nothing can be promised in this world anymore. Lexa Woods does not cry. But just then, the world on her shoulders became heavier and the pain couldn’t help but malfunction in her mind and melt into tears that streamed down her face. The mantra in her head made her sick. Made her feel weak. But she couldn’t silence it. Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me. 

 

Clarke wiped the back of her hand over her perspiring forehead and heaved out a sigh. She had ran for awhile just to go faster, but she was convinced the added speed did nothing to get her to town faster. She was internally panicking, and her palms were as clammy as her forehead was. She gripped the handle of the machete and glanced around at the mountains before her. It felt oddly soothing knowing these large hills were like bodyguards, nearly shading them away from sight of the new, disease cramped world. But as she looked back, she new the distance was a headache, and she needed to get back to Lexa before she started to bleed out.

 

////////////////////

 

The pharmacy was ransacked. Of course it would be. Clarke sighed in frustration as she packed any last thing she thought would be helpful from the shelves. She strolled to the back of the shop where large brown boxes and plastic bins were strewn around the area. There was a broken flickering light, a large dentist cut out with its teeth blacked in, and a safe. Clarke stood in front of the safe and examined it. It was built into the wall and its metal shone in the dull flicker of the light. The size of it was endearing.  
Clarke ran her fingers over the sides then over the clean keypad. Numbers. Just a bunch of numbers she would never be able to figure out. She needed stuff for Lexa’s wound. He couldn’t waste her time trying to open a safe that surely only held money which held no significance in their world. 

“Two, five, eight, six, one, four, six, seven, one, five,” A low voice spoke from the dark corners. Clarke froze. It was a woman’s voice. 

“How do you know the code?” Clarke asked into the dark as she turned around. Unmasked in the light flicker was a woman, probably a few years older than her at most. Her hair was wild in frizzy brown locks, and her eyes were big and brown, the color of honey mixed with rain. She was intimidating. Strong. 

“This,” the woman shrugged holding up a piece of crumpled paper. “Try it.” 

Clarke gazed at her for a moment before turning around and punching in the numbers that the woman read out to her once more. The safe hummed as it clicked open and Clarke sighed. When she pulled it open, a vault big enough to fit a family of five welcomed her. Instead of seeing thick stacks of green like she had expected, she was welcomed with rows of medical supplies stored away on the shelves. Clarke nearly sobbed in relief and almost stepped into the vault before she remembered the other woman behind her. Being closed into the vault by someone she didn’t know frightened her. She would never be able to get back to Lexa. They wouldn’t be able to survive. Clarke couldn’t have that. 

Clarke glanced back at the woman in defense and the woman dropped the paper and rolled her eyes before stepping past Clarke and into the vault. Clarke cautiously stepped in after the woman and scanned the shelves looking for the supplies she knew she would need, and extra things they might need along the way. Clarke pulled down a box of sterile gloves and a thick roll of gauze then shoved them into her bag. She got lucky when she saw the forceps and iodine as well as the lighter fluid. Strange thing to have in a pharmacy vault but Clarke didn’t question her luck. 

The other woman pulled down some things and stashed them away in her sack, all the while exchanging glances with the blonde. She eyed Clarke’s choices and cleared her throat. 

“Someone get shot?” 

Clarke slowed her ministrations and stared into the woman’s soft eyes. The only thing that truly seemed soft about her. 

“My girl- Uh my best friend.” Clarke stumbled over her words. “I need to hurry.” 

“Do you know how to do the procedure?”  
“My mom was a doctor. I know what I need to,” Clarke nodded and dropped some pain meds into her bag. 

The woman shook her head. “I can come with you.”

“And why would you need to do that?” Clarke lifted an eyebrow. 

“It’s easier to do it with two people. If you’re probing at the bullet, there will be blood and it’ll be hard to see the bullet correctly. You’ll need another set of hands to pull the skin open so you can see what you’re doing.”

Clarke eyed the woman, but she really couldn’t see a single threat coming from her. Still, some people aren’t how they seem. They can put up fronts and wear masks fit enough to look more real than the actual skin on their faces. But as Clarke thought of this, she realized she didn’t have the time. And she needed to make sure Lexa survived. If this woman was willing to help them, she’d let her. If she became a threat, Clarke could deal with that later. Clarke nodded at the woman and the woman nodded to her in return. 

Something blue on the far edge of the shelf caught Clarke’s eye. She reached up and pulled down a box filled with water filter straws. She felt like a kid after the pinata broke and rained down candy. Clarke held them up in victory to show to the woman and the woman smiled. Clarke took four and gave the woman two. Maybe their luck wasn’t completely running out. 

 

////////////////////////////

 

She was in a desert somewhere or maybe at the bottom of the ocean. She really couldn’t tell. She was everywhere and nowhere all at once. She heard voices and she was for sure one was Clarke’s. The other sounded familiar too, but she was too out of it to put a face or name to it. She could see Clarke’s long unwashed hair glint in the sun. And her ocean eyes sparkle in concentration. She could hear the snaps of a fire burning up logs or sticks. And she could also feel fireworks going off in her right thigh. Her right thigh must’ve held a warm river too. Something akin to a Fourth of July event was going on in her very own thigh and she didn’t quite know how to wrap her head around that. 

She knew Clarke was saying something to her, but she couldn’t tell what it was. She could only hear the sweet raspberry rasp of her voice and it made her want to kiss her. When she reached up to place her lips on any part of Clarke’s body, she got the blonde’s knuckles and kissed them softly. But there were flowers everywhere and artworks tacked to the sky. Clarke’s art. Lexa’s own writing was the clouds. The cornflowers were her bed, pigmented from Clarke’s irises. There was a smoky smell like a butterfly’s wings were being burnt. Lexa let out a sob. Then bird chirps were soft in her ears. So soft, so melodious. She was smoking a cigarette with a turquoise filter and she was breathing ruby crystals straight from her lungs, nearly barfing them into a small toy chest. She saw her eight year old self in a plaid yellow dress with zipping bee's knitted into it. She saw eight year old Clarke kissing her scraped knee, and twirling her blue dress in her small finger tips. The little blonde had a smile that stretched on for miles and miles and Lexa was was smiling and laughing. She saw her older sister sitting on porch steps in a spotlight of sun and her older brother playing frisbee with a golden retriever. Her mom was slicing pie on a picnic table and her father was wading his hand into the pool to check how cool it was. Her lips were sizzling against Clarke’s in their seventeen year old bodies. Her head against the seat of a truck, Clarke’s body on top of hers, hips moving, teeth biting and soothing skin. Clarke’s love gushing like a river bed in spring. Fireworks. Green leaves in a downpour. Milestones of hot pockets, Winston Churchill, and oversized lollipops. Clarke’s art on her skin, ink poisoning be damned. Clarke’s designed tattoos forever taking residence in Lexa’s skin. Lexa’s heart in knots, Clarke untying them. 

Then her eyes were shooting open and the pain was there. Everywhere. Her heart was going to beat too fast and explode out of her chest. She roared in pain and bit her lip. She searched for Clarke’s eyes in the air and locked onto them fast. Clarke held the blade against the wound until the skin began to bubble. Then she pulled it away fast. 

“Fuck!” Lexa cursed and plopped down on the ground. 

“It’s alright, Lex,” Clarke soothed and brushed her fingers over Lexa’s flushed cheeks. “You’re going to be alright. I fixed it.” 

Lexa let the words sink in. Let herself soak in them until the pain didn’t consume her anything worse than large throbs. Cool water was being trickled over the wound and the alcohol’s sizzling breath upon her body seemed to seize the least bit. 

“Clarke,” Lexa whimpered and sought the blonde out. 

“Shh,” Clarke hushed and laid her body down beside the trembling brunette’s. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”

“Damn, Lex,” A voice, the second voice sighed. “You’re a trooper.” 

Lexa knew that voice. She knew it from family get together's in the middle of summer and the beginning of winter. She knew it from the excitement after stealing a piece of cake from the adult table. She knew it from before her parents death, and after in small fragments of funerals and forced visits. Lexa’s heart dropped. 

Lexa shot her eyes open and sat up on her elbows, ignoring Clarke’s protests for her to lie back down.  
“Luna?” Lexa choked out. “You survived?” 

“Of course I did,” Luna shrugged. “You didn’t doubt your favorite cousin did you?’ 

Lexa’s mouth was dry. With Luna came here mother and father, and what came with her mother and father came her brother and sister, and death death death. Too much death. 

“Luna’s gonna stay,” Clarke said. “She’s helped a lot.” 

Lexa nodded. 

“Family, Lex. It’s thick even when it’s thin,” Luna said softly. “I guess we got lucky.”

Luck wasn’t even part of it, Lexa couldn’t help but think. She was extremely happy and relieved to know her cousin was alive. But she was also exhausted. She let Clarke push her back down. She glimpsed the daylight sky with stars threatening to push through it. Dark in light. Luck in life. Spiders stuck in their own webs. Clarke’s eyes. Those eyes. And she was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one is a bit shorter than the others. Been extremely exhausted and stressed. But what do you think? Luna is alive and well and Lexa hasn't seen her since a little after her parents and brother and sister died. We'll see more of their bond throughout the next chapter. Clarke and Lexa will have time for each other then too. Kudos and Comments make my heart happy! Hope you all enjoyed despite the length and the wait! Also find me on tumblr if you'd like @ days-of-you


	6. Your Lips, My Lips, Apocalypse

Lexa held the bullet that had recently been lodged in her thigh in between her thumb and index finger and examined it. It was thick and long, encrusted with her own blood. She cringed at the agony. She felt useless with her pronounced limp and concealed whimpers of pain when she didn’t step right, or when the fatigue hit her too hard and the three of them had to stop travelling early. Clarke always assured her it was a good thing because it gave them time to set up camp before the sun went down. But Lexa still felt like a nuisance. She hated to know she was slowing them down. But time didn’t really exist anymore in the world they lived in. There was only night and day and small minor things in between. It was all she had to assure herself she wasn’t a complete bother. 

Clarke watched Lexa rage in conflict to herself, holding the bullet up against the sun. She couldn’t help but want to soothe the ache. Clarke was just that type of person. If it was her nature or not, she wanted to because it was Lexa. The brunette held all of her love in those petite hands. Clarke knew it. She knew it and it scared her. But what is the world other than fear? If anything, what she felt with Lexa should be a glorious thing. It was for the most part. But Clarke couldn’t shirk the thought that she might someday lose her. She could never prepare herself for that. It hurt. But as Lexa chucked the bullet down the hill and it made a ‘ploink’ sound once it hit the water of the small pond below the hill, Clarke knew she couldn’t twine herself in such worry. Not when the girl before her was the strongest girl she knew, even injured. Her insides were oozy honey wrapped in cool metal armor. Such a soft soul ready for war. Ready for the worst. Ready for love. 

A stack of wood logs clashed to the forest floor and stole Clarke’s attention from Lexa to look at the other brunette. Luna knelt down next to the wood and sprayed just enough lighter fluid over the tree bricks before flipping open a zippo and lighting it ablaze. Luna stood up and stumbled back as the fire roared and sizzled, and gave a small smile, hands planted firmly on her hips. She closed the zippo and examined it hard. She was happy she rarely used the thing before the world went to shit. It benefitted her majorly in the now. 

“Got the fire going!” Luna stated the obvious and began to lay blankets around it. 

Lexa didn’t turn away from the river below them, and Clarke felt her insides turn. She was standing on her bad leg, grimacing. It was as if she were punishing herself. 

Clarke strided over to Lexa and gripped her shoulders softly. Lexa blinked her eyes open and the pain on her face lessened as Clarke dig her fingers into her skin, kneading the knots in her muscles. 

“Let’s go lie down, yeah?” Clarke whispered in Lexa’s ear. “Get you off your leg.” 

Lexa gave a small smile to Clarke and nodded. Her leg was throbbing something fierce, and she hated to admit it, but she was absolutely exhausted. 

The blanket was ragged but it was the equivalent to sleeping on a hefty cloud or a mattress in an old expensive hotel that only supplied the best. Yes, after being too exhausted to move, it definitely felt like royalty to Lexa. She sunk into the fabric and let her body align to the hard ground beneath it without even a whisper of complaint. 

Clarke sat on the blanket beside her and laid Lexa’s head in her lap, while softly running her fingers through brown curls. Lexa sighed softly, cheek pressed against Clarke’s warm thigh, and scalp being massaged by Clarke’s nimble fingers. She couldn’t express how grateful she was to have Clarke in her life. Let alone in the end of the world. It was as if her luck turned on her and gave her the best gift anyone could ever receive. A gorgeous, generous woman with warm arms, sassiness that could put Lexa in her place, intelligent mind, and strong heart. She was stuck with that. And god she couldn’t ever imagine complaining about it. 

“So why California?” Luna asked and poked the fire with a stick. “I’m sure it’d be crazily overrun.” 

Clarke shrugged. “The beach should be fine. And if it isn’t I guess we can just tread for Washington.”

“You’re going to Cali only for the beach?”

“It was Lexa’s idea,” Clarke smiled and ran her fingers gently through Lexa’s hair. “Her older sister had been to some private beaches. It would be nice.”

Luna’s eyes shifted from the fire to Lexa, and realization glazed over them. She nodded and spoke no more. Lexa had fallen asleep quickly in Clarke’s lap to the gorgeous feel of Clarke’s fingers massaging her scalp. The moon was in the sky for its shift, and the stars were bright through the pieces of sky leaking through the tree branches above them. Luna shifted onto her side and brought out her knife, twisting it in her hands. 

Despite the fact that Lexa was already asleep, Clarke continued massaging her. It seemed to bring the blonde peace as well. 

“Anya was her older sister,” Luna broke the silence. “She was my best friend. I loved her. I may have had a shitty homelife, but at least I was blessed with amazing cousins. Me, Anya, and Nyko used to run away into the fields around their old house. Little Lexa was too young to bring along, and I’m sure us being teenagers, wouldn’t bring her anyway.” Luna chuckled. 

Clarke smiled at the woman’s words and glanced down at a sleeping Lexa. It was the most at ease the blonde had ever seen her.  
“When they died, they all died. All except Lexa. It was absolutely awful, and I’m sure it was terrifying for Lexa to lose her entire family at such a young age. She moved in with Uncle Gus and I visited as much as I could just to check up on her.” 

Clarke halted her movements on Lexa’s head which caused the brunette to stir. Clarke began again and Luna continued. 

“She was so stoic and tough. Such a well put together kid. She hid her misery but I could see it was there. I was hoping Uncle Gus was taking care of her well. He wasn’t really the man of the hour when it came to kids, but he had his moments.” 

Clarke’s heart sank. She had seen that stoic loner part of Lexa since she was a child. Since Lexa had moved in next door and star struck Clarke for the remainder of her childhood. It hurt knowing how much the girl had gone through. It hurt knowing that she had hated her just over five months ago. 

“I was just glad she was fine. She was surviving. Just like now.” Luna gave a puny smile. “What are you to her anyway?” 

Clarke froze once more. What was she to Lexa? A companion in survival? A friend? A girl she likes to kiss because no one else was around to do so? A girl she liked to kiss because she liked her? A girlfri- 

“We’re neighbors. Well, we were. Ever since she moved into her uncle’s, we’ve been neighbors. When the sirens blared, she came over, and we left together.” 

Luna side-eyed her and glanced down at Clarke’s fingers tangled in Lexa’s hair, and Lexa’s head snuggled onto her lap and close to her tummy. She wasn’t buying whatever Clarke was selling. 

“Are you sure it’s nothing more?” Luna asked and shifted to her side.

Clarke sighed. “I don’t really know.”

“You care about her.” 

Clarke stared down at the girl laying on her and felt her heart pang. 

“Yeah, I do.” 

Silence ebbed at them once more, and Clarke felt her legs begin to go numb under Lexa’s weight. Luna eyed her and sat up. 

“I’ll take watch. If you end up sitting up without holding Lexa, I’m sure she’ll wake up,” Luna joked. 

Clarke chuckled. “Thank you.” 

The blonde readjusted herself so she was laying down beside Lexa, her front against Lexa’s back and her arm over Lexa’s waist. Lexa hummed softly and snuggled further into Clarke’s warmth. Yeah, there was no doubt in Clarke’s mind, she cared about Lexa Woods. More than she really cared about anything. 

 

Nevada was hot. Strikingly hotter than Utah. The sweat was building up on their foreheads and Clarke felt she would drop dead any minute from heat stroke. Lexa’s hair was tied up and the arms of her plaid shirt were rolled up to her elbows. Her hands occasionally brushed against Clarke’s and made the heat rush to her cheeks in red heaps. Her leg had healed almost all of the way, and she was stoked to not be the reason they were slowed down anymore. It was a relief to be able to walk normal again. She had grown tired of limping and dragging her leg around in the dirt of pavement. It made her feel like the infected they were constantly around and it disgusted her. 

Luna had stuffed her leather coat in her bag long ago, and was now just in a tank top and torn jeans. She was excited to be out of Utah. She hated the place and never wanted to see it again. In this world, she never had to. 

A herd of infected sulked around in a nearby town and the three women didn’t want to waste their time on them, so they took a detour and found themselves on a small street corner with deserted pizza joints, libraries, and one place they had never expected to see. 

“Is that?” Clarke asked breathlessly. 

“I think it is,” Lexa answered and took a step forward. 

The large sign before them on the building read in large blue letters “SKY JUMP” With a spring logo beside it. Clarke’s inner child filled up with joy. 

“No way,” Luna grinned. “Are ya ready to be a kid again, girls?” 

“And take down potential infected children? Not really,” Lexa folded her arms over her chest and glared at the ground. 

“Tell you what,” Luna faced Lexa. “I’ll go in first, do what I have to do, and come get you guys when it’s all good, yeah?” 

Lexa glanced at Clarke who nodded. Lexa then begrudgingly nodded and watched Luna run through the black doors and disappear inside. Lexa felt her stomach twist in discomfort until she felt arms wrap around her from behind. Clarke’s cheek pressed against Lexa’s neck and the brunette hummed, feeling the unsettling feeling drip away. 

“It’ll be okay, Lex,” Clarke soothed. The gravel octave to her voice made Lexa shiver. “We get to have fun. When was the last time we relaxed and stopped living in survival mode? This will be good.” 

Lexa nodded. “I know. It’ll be okay.” 

“Damn right it will.” 

Lexa turned in Clarke’s arms and scanned her eyes over the blonde’s pretty features. The sweat dripping from Clarke’s hairline and down her face. Her crystal blue eyes shining deliciously against the sun’s heat. The cupid’s bow lips with a beauty mark settled gorgeously above them. Her gorgeous little kitty nose, and that chin with a dip in it. Lexa was in love. She was so damn in love. 

Without really thinking about it, Lexa began to lean in, and those crystal blues were clouded with a haze of desire, and the want low in Lexa’s tummy only seemed to roar louder. Clarke’s lips were soft against Lexa’s own and it was an absolute aphrodisiac. Lexa lifted her hands to cup Clarke’s boiling cheeks, and moaned when she felt a hasty tongue slide over her top lip. She granted Clarke access, and the girls both moaned at the long awaited kiss they couldn’t seem to share over the last month. It was heady and sweaty and downright delicious. Lexa couldn’t help herself. 

Clarke gripped Lexa’s hips hard, and pushed their bodies flush against one another, not even a puny line could pass through them. Lexa’s hands slid from Clarke’s cheeks down her neck, then around to her back where she clutched the blonde’s shoulder blades. Clarke whimpered when Lexa took Clarke’s bottom lip between her teeth and bit softly. When she let the flesh go, Clarke’s hands had already made their down to her bum. Clarke squeezed the round spheres of Lexa’s behind and Lexa gasped against the blonde’s lips before attacking them hungrily and sloppily. 

“Uhhem,” A voice cleared behind them, and their lips broke from each other with a loud smack that hit the air harshly. They turned without letting go of one another to see Luna leaning against the open door with her arms folded over her chest, staring at them knowingly. 

“I knew you two were together,” Luna shook her head. “And it’s your lucky day. The place was all clear. No living or dead anywhere to be seen.” 

Lexa sighed in relief and glanced back over to Clarke, whose hands were still firmly gripping her ass. Her smile was large and sweet and Clarke giggled before giving another peck to Lexa’s kiss swollen lips before letting her go, and grabbing her hand. 

“Let’s go have fun, Lex,” She sighed happily. 

Lexa wouldn’t object to that. 

 

The air was cold, and it was biting into their skin magnificently as they laughed until their stomachs begged them to stop, and jumped around the room like wild bouncy balls let loose in a confined space. Trampolines lined the entirety of the floor besides the small ledge by the doorway to place shoes and other items people would’ve arrived with. The walls were trampolines. Hell, even the ceilings were trampolines. No barriers, just bouncing with every step. It was heaven. 

Luna bounced around like a rabid kangaroo, Clarke did flips, and Lexa just jumped as high as she possibly could without her leg protesting. It was true, they all felt like kids again. It was as if the world they had come to know had been paused, and they were back to their normal, respectful lives again. Clarke was completely ecstatic. She wouldn’t rather be at any other place in the world with anyone else. She looked at Lexa striving to get higher and higher, and she felt a light feeling sweep over her. She wanted Lexa Woods now and forever. She couldn’t imagine her life without her. Now, this realization has hit Clarke more than once. In fact, it had come across her mind and heart plentiful times. The only difference this time was that the fear hadn’t come after the wonderful thoughts. She was fully content. What a feeling. 

Clarke jumped over to Lexa and found herself falling into the brunette’s arms. Their legs tangled and then their bodies were bouncing against the black bouncy net. Clarke was on top of Lexa, her lower body resting between Lexa’s legs. They only stopped laughing once they realized what position they were in. Clarke’s eyes bored into Lexa’s forest green ones and swallowed thickly at the wave of arousal washing over her. She could tell Lexa was going through the same thing. 

“Oh god,” Luna drawled from somewhere behind them. Neither girl moved, too involved in their trance. “I’m going to go raid the manager’s office. There’s probably some booze in there or some shit. Gotta leave you two horn dogs alone for a bit anyway.” 

They heard Luna bounce away until she was on the yellow perch and slipping on her shoes. Her footsteps became quieter and quieter until they could no longer be heard at all. A small smile crept onto Lexa’s face. Lexa’s smiles were as infectious as the disease around them, so Clarke was smiling and they blew up in a fit of laughter. Clarke leaned down and pressed her face against Lexa’s neck so her giggles were muffled. She could feel Lexa’s chest brush against her with each laugh, and it made her thighs tingle. The giggles stopped when Clarke unconsciously ground her hips down into Lexa’s. Lexa’s giggles tapered into a large gasp and silenced Clarke’s as well. Lexa’s hands found Clarke’s bent knees on either side of her hips, and began to run them up Clarke’s thighs. She could feel Clarke’s breath getting harsher against the skin of her neck and it made her heart pound pronounced and heavy in the confines of her chest. Clarke turned her head and placed her lips on Lexa’s pulse point. Lexa closed her eyes and relished in the pleasure of her most sensitive spot being kissed by her most favorite person. Now, this was what heaven was. 

When Lexa’s hands found Clarke’s jean clad bum, she squeezed both cheeks hard and Clarke gasped. Her moans were pressed into the heated skin of Lexa’s neck. Clarke rocked into Lexa and latched her lips around an unkissed patch of skin, before sucking and biting. Lexa’s eyes rolled back in her head and she whimpered at the much appreciated lip-to-skin contact. 

Lexa gripped Clarke’s hips and in one swift motion, she had Clarke underneath her, eyes wide in awe. Lexa smirked, feeling prideful, she smashed her lips against Clarke’s in the heat of complete passion. 

Clarke’s hips were lifting against Lexa’s when the brunette’s lips found the exposed part of Clarke’s chest just under her collarbone. Lexa pushed her own down against Clarke’s, pinning them to the black bouncy net beneath them. Clarke groaned and struggled to get any sort of friction from the girl she loved. Yes, Lexa. Lexa was the girl Clarke loved. And it felt good to accept it. 

When Lexa’s lips were stopped by the offending material of Clarke’s shirt, she glanced up at the disheveled blonde beneath her, asking for permission with her big green eyes. Clarke never could say no to those soft pine twin pools. She didn’t want to say no. Not now, not ever. She nodded vigorously, raising her arms over her head and lifting herself only a few inches from the net. 

Lexa rucked the shirt up over Clarke’s head and threw it somewhere beside them. It could’ve been swallowed up by a random black hole and neither girl would’ve noticed. The black lace bra around Clarke’s snowy globes made Lexa’s mouth water. Lexa couldn’t understand how after months of barely bathing and grooming, Clarke still looked like a goddess fresh out of a beauty bath. She was magnificent. And she was hers. Wasn’t she?

The long fingers Clarke had been dreaming about for months dug into the soft skin of her breast and affectionately squeezed. A loud moan tumbled out of her parted lips before she could try to contain it. She wasn’t trying that hard anyway. Lexa squeezed and smoothed her palms over the expanse of Clarke’s chest before hooking her fingers into the top part of the lace. Clarke raised herself up once more, undid the clasp on her back and shrugged the black material off of her shoulders. Lexa greedily threw the bra off of Clarke’s body and surged downward, capturing a rosy nipple between her lips. 

“Lexa,” Clarke hissed through her teeth. The pleasure coursed through her body in thunder-like crashes, causing her thighs to tremble and her ribs to shake. She was slowly melting under Lexa’s lips. 

“Mmm,” Lexa groaned and sucked harder whilst swirling her tongue around the stiff bud in deliberate circles. Her fingers rolled the other nipple softly with a few hard tweaks that seemed to make Clarke’s hips stutter. 

“Lex, I need- oh god,” Clarke muttered.

“What do you need baby?” Lexa mouthed around the hard bump. Lexa let go of the nipple with a pop, and travelled to the abandoned one, enveloping it with the warm wet heat of her mouth. Clarke moaned and moaned and moaned until her voice began to grow horse.

“I need you to touch me,” Clarke rasped. Her normally husky voice was even more husky than before. It sounded as if she had swallowed a bunch of gravel doused in gasoline. Lexa’s legs turned to jelly. 

“What if Luna comes in?” 

Clarke gripped Lexa’s hand and shoved it between their bodies until it hit the waistband of her jeans. 

“She won’t.” 

Clarke’s conviction between her gravel-like voice nearly made Lexa smirk at the determination in the blonde’s features. But she didn’t. She ended up admiring them instead. Her cheeks were blushing a mighty red fire that Lexa would be more than willing to burn up in. Her once blue eyes were invaded by the black of her pupil with only a sliver of blue around the rim. Her lips were kiss bruised and parted, harsh breaths grazing over them on their way in and out. Lexa would give the girl anything she wanted. Anything she wanted in the world. And she wanted nothing more to give in. Just give in. 

The sound of a button popping open and a zipper being unzipped cut the air open and stole the air from Clarke’s lungs when she felt one of Lexa’s fingers brush over the wet spot forming on her underwear. It was a lovely sound. Lexa loved it. But she knew Clarke could make better sounds. Her soon to be favorite sounds. She maneuvered her hand underneath the band of Clarke’s underwear and ran her middle finger over the blonde’s soaked folds. Lexa groaned and dropped her forehead against Clarke’s shoulder. Clarke grinned through her arousal filled haze and ran her hands over Lexa’s back. 

“You’re so wet, Clarke,” Lexa moaned. 

“You caused it,” Clarke moaned as a finger disappeared through her folds and found her clit. “That’s all for you, Lex.” 

“Fuck, Clarke.” Lexa gasped. 

“Well, I’m hoping so,” Clarke giggled. 

Lexa growled and began to rub harsh circles around the beating bud, causing Clarke’s giggles to cut short right in her chest, and her back to arch. 

Lexa lifted herself back up so she could see Clarke’s beautiful face. Clarke’s mouth had dropped open and her eyes were closed tight. It was the look of pure pleasure and Lexa wanted to capture it and keep it etched into her brain forever. It was a gorgeous sight. 

The intense rubbing had stopped so suddenly, Clarke almost complained. But then she felt long fingers swirl around her ever-growing wet center and her hips jerked hard up against Lexa’s. Lexa smirked at the blonde, swirling and swirling, collecting Clarke’s wetness on her fingertips. 

“Can I-” 

“Yes, god yes,” Clarke cut off her question and lifted her hips, efficiently enveloping a finger in her heat. Clarke threw her head back against the trampoline net and pushed her hands up and under Lexa’s shirt, finding that the girl wasn’t wearing a bra. It only made her wetter. 

“Get this off,” Clarke said needily and bunched Lexa’s flannel up to her neck. Lexa retreated her hand from Clarke’s center to throw the flimsy fabric off of her body to join Clarke’s shirt and bra somewhere beyond them. Her hand returned to Clarke’s heat, and she slipped one finger in once more. 

Their breasts were touching. They were tingling and smooshed together and Lexa was sure she could probably get off just from that. That, and her own fingers buried in Clarke. It was as if she was on a drug induced high. But better. If she even knew what it felt like to get high, and she didn’t, she would prefer this over anything. 

Lexa kissed along Clarke’s neck as she moved her finger inside of Clarke and rubbed her thumb over Clarke’s swollen clit. When she curled her finger hard against Clarke’s front wall, the blonde moaned loud and long and jerked her head up then let it fall back down to the net where it nearly bounced. 

“That feel good, Clarke?” Lexa husked against Clarke’s hickeyed neck. “You like that?”

“Mmm yes,” Clarke gasped. 

Lexa began to speed up her fingers, and Clarke’s breath was coming out in fast heaps as she chased her orgasm. 

“T-two,” Clarke exhaled. 

Lexa understood, and added a second finger. She began to pump and curl faster in the same rhythm of her thumb on the blonde’s clit. She stopped suddenly when she felt a hand pushed into her own jeans and against her clit right on the spot. She jerked forward, stopping her movements in Clarke only slightly once she felt her own pleasure. Two of Clarke’s fingers were thrust into her in one go, and they slid right in with how wet she was. Clarke groaned and lifted her hips to signal Lexa to keep going. 

Lexa continued her fast ministrations inside of Clarke and against her clit as Clarke did the same to her and the effect was mind blowing. Making love to a person while they make love to you. Sweat, fast breaths, rising chests, chasing hips, bruised lips, wetness, thrusting, determination, passion, love, love, love. It was all so much. So deliciously enough. 

Clarke’s breathing was coming out impossibly fast, and her body was shaking up a storm so Lexa knew Clarke was close. Just when Clarke was about to come, Clarke flattened her palm harder against Lexa’s clit just right, and thrusted hard and fast. Lexa didn’t see it coming, but it hit her in iron waves. They came undone together in a mess of moans and shakes and gushes of wetness. It lasted longer than either of them had anticipated as they kept going, drawing each other through their intense orgasm. Lexa had never seen a more beautiful sight in her life. Clarke, head thrown back with a crown of blonde hair around her contrasting against the black of the trampoline net, collarbones jutting out in an art-like portrait, mouth dropped open, jaw slack, moans flowing out in a gorgeous harmony, eyebrows scrunched, and eyes shut tight. Clarke was the most beautiful thing the world was ever graced with, Lexa decided. 

But Lexa was pretty gorgeous on her behalf as well. Clarke opened her eyes as much as they would budge and caught Lexa in the throes of their shared orgasm. Her neck was stretched, her chest rising and falling in violent waves that could resemble an ocean in a storm. Her long brown hair cascading over her shoulder, her perfect breasts jutting upwards with perfect, hard nipples drawing invisible lines in the air as their bodies moved together, her lips parted as she panted and groaned out the pleasure. Lexa Woods was the masterpiece Clarke had been searching for all of her life. And she was making love to her. 

The clenching and the throbbing finally stopped once they had drawn every single last drop of pleasure out of each other, and they rested, sweaty and sadated. The hazy cloud of desired had lifted and gone back somewhere in the sky, leaving the two girls to catch their breaths and enjoy one another in the aftermath. What a day. Lexa didn’t expect, of all things, to lose her virginity to Clarke Griffin in an indoor trampoline jungle gym but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Not at all. 

“Can I tell you something?” Clarke whispered into the murky silence of the room. Lexa nodded against the girl’s creamy chest. 

“I don’t expect you to feel the same. But I have to tell you. It’s been eating at me for months.” 

Lexa lifted herself up so she could look Clake in the eyes. She knew whatever Clarke was about to tell her was important by the hesitancy in her husky voice. 

“I’m in love with you,” Clarke said solemnly. She shut her eyes, waiting for the pile of rejection to come out and hit her. Waiting for Lexa to shuffle away from her and leave her there in their puddle of evidence that they had shared every part with each other. She waited. But it never came. 

Instead, she felt Lexa’s soft hand cradle her cheek. She found herself leaning into the touch. 

“Open your eyes, Clarke,” Lexa soothed. 

Clarke fluttered her eyes open and stared into the forest as Lexa stared into the sky. Both trapped in pools of the people they loved. 

“I think I’ve always loved you,” Clarke shrugged. “Even when I hated you. I loved you.”

“I’m so in love with you, Clarke Griffin. And it doesn’t scare me,” Lexa whispered. 

Clarke smiled brightly, it reached her eyes making them glow. 

“It doesn’t?” 

“Nope.” 

“Me either,” Clarke grinned and placed her hand over Lexa’s.

Lexa leaned down and kissed Clarke slowly. It was lips exploring lips, calm passion and solace. Lexa was relieved. Lexa was in love with Clarke. And Clarke was in love with her. 

Stomping footsteps startled them and they both turned their heads to the entrance of the room where Luna swayed with a bottle of Jack Daniels held loosely in her hand. 

“I knewwww you two would get it on!” Luna slurred. “Nice tits, Clarke. Don’t worry, Lexie Rexie, I’m not looking at yours.” 

Lexa scrambled for their shirts and covered herself and Clarke with them. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Lexa scoffed and turned her back to the drunk woman. She threw her shirt back on as Clarke clipped her bra back on. 

“Hey, I’m just living the dream. A whole bottle of Jack just for me, had my name on it. Just sitting up the stairs in that cramped office. What a treat. Guess I’m not the only one who got a treat though,” Luna winked at the two disheveled girls.

Clarke threw her shirt back on and shook her head at Luna, glancing over at Lexa’s irritated face. Irritated, but beautiful face. When she stood, her legs decided to betray her and she fell back down again on the bouncy net. 

“Wow,” Luna laughed. “Looks like Lexi is good in bed. Guess it runs in the family.” The woman took another swig and jumped out into the fortress of bounce, causing the two other girls to jostled uncomfortably. 

“Shut up, Luna,” Lexa snapped and helped Clarke up to the platform. 

“Well, she isn’t wrong,” Clarke whispered to Lexa once they were on the firm ground. Lexa’s ears tinted red, and she smiled bashfully into Clarke’s shoulder. 

“Ah, the apocalypse, us, a indoor trampoline room, and booze. What could be better?” Luna bounced and jumped as the booze sloshed out of the bottle and onto the net. 

“Food, probably,” Clarke suggested. 

“Or sleep,” Lexa yawned. 

Luna scoffed. “You definitely fucked.” 

Both girls glared at her this time. 

Luna held up her hands in mock surrender. “Just saying. I found an old vending machine hiding away near the office lounge. We can eat some junk, and sleep here tonight. Whaddya say?” 

Lexa mulled it over, and glanced at Clarke, asking with her eyes what she thought of the idea. Lexa bit the skin around her thumb nail and waited for Clarke’s answer. 

“That seems like a good plan,” Clarke finally nodded. “We haven’t eaten in a few days, and we’re pretty lucky to come across some junk food. Not to mention it would be absolutely luxurious to sleep on a bed of trampoline instead of the hard ground outside. What do you think, Lex?” 

Lexa nodded. “I agree. But we have to seal off the front entrance and any other way to get in. Make sure no one else can creep up on us. That includes the infected.” 

“Done, and done,” Luna popped up. “Took care of that while you two were screwin’.”

“Luna,” Lexa warned. 

The drunk, yet alert girl joined the other two on the platform and walked past them into the hallway.

“Make yourselves comfortable,” Luna yelled behind her. “I’m gonna go break the glass and loot up on junk. Tonight, we feast like queens.” 

Lexa and Clarke had made themselves at home in the corner where it wasn’t as bouncy on the net. Luna had brought back a large enough stash to feed them for a few days or maybe a week. They sat there eating and talking about old memories. It was almost enough to forget about the fact the world had ended. It would’ve been if it wasn’t a permanent reminder in their brains. 

“So Lexa stuck her hand into the fish tank and the squid suctioned itself onto her hand before she could grab her ball,” Luna laughed and sputtered a couple of cheetos over the expanse of net between them. “And she fainted with this damn baby squid glued to her hand.”

Clarke was laughing so hard, she was beginning to see spots, and her abs begged her to stop. Lexa glared at her cousin but couldn’t help but smile at the memory nonetheless. 

“Well I wouldn’t have if you and Anya hadn’t told me it would suck all of the blood out of my body.” Lexa defended. 

“It wasn’t our faults you were such a gullible kid.” 

No, but it was their faults she still had a major fear of squids. 

 

When their tummies were full and their eyes began to droop, they settled down to sleep. Luna had been out in a matter of seconds considering the amount of alcohol in her system, and food occupying her tummy. Clarke and Lexa held each other and kissed occasionally, not being able to get enough of each other. 

“I just hope you know I’m sorry about how things were, you know, before,” Lexa whispered into Clarke’s blonde hair. 

“I am too,” Clarke replied and snuggled in closer to the brunette. “But we shouldn’t focus on then. We should focus on now. How far we’ve come. How we have each other.” 

“How we’ve survived.” 

“Yes. How we’re living. Our hearts are beating.” 

“Yours is beating fast,” Lexa observed as she rested her hand against Clarke’s warm chest. 

“So is yours.” 

Lexa leaned down and kissed Clarke softly on the lips. 

“It’s scary to not be scared.” 

Clarke kissed Lexa’s neck and snuggled further into her. 

“But it’s a wonderful feeling,” Lexa yawned. “You’re wonderful.” 

Sleep knocked them over and into a sea of dark. Nothing felt better for either one of them than being full. Full with food after starving. Being full of love after being so cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the long awaited 6th chapter! I really hope you all enjoy this one. It took me forever to gain the inspiration to write it. I've been so stressed with school that it took me forever to conjure this up. But I think I'm getting my creative juices flowing once more and it feels heavenly. Also, the chapter title is from a new song called Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex. Go listen to them if you're into amazing heart felt and soothing music. It won't be a disappointment. Kudos and comments make my heart happy and sunny! Go find me on tumblr if you'd like to ask questions about my fics or just ask questions in general @ days-of-you :)


	7. Lead The Parade

“Lexa, I didn’t see-”

“I don’t care what you saw or didn’t see!” The young brunette rounded on the small blonde with a vicious bite to her voice. “You broke it!” 

“I’m sorry!”

Lexa looked down at the broken floral vase, resting in shards on the hot summer sidewalk. Her insides were bubbling with rage and misery and she could only describe the feeling as a large worm eating at her intestines and stomach, wrapped around her lungs tightly. She knew it technically wasn’t Clarke’s fault. The little girl was only walking on her own down the sidewalk and hadn’t seen Lexa come out around the bushes in front of her. Then bam, they bumped hard into each other and the vase was in pieces on the pavement. When Lexa looked into the most gorgeous blue eyes she’d ever seen, she could tell Clarke was heartbreakingly sorry. Truly and genuinely sorry. It only made Lexa even more angry. That this girl was being so nice even after being yelled at by her. 

“I can’t believe this,” Lexa’s voice wavered. The anger merely vanished and it was replaced with raw sadness that only made Clarke feel worse. 

The thin little brunette with knobby knees and scrapes on her arms dropped to her knees in front of the broken pieces and scooped them up into her hands. Clarke slowly got to her knees and reached out to help when a shaky hand gripped her wrist. 

“Don’t touch it!” Lexa exclaimed in malice. Clarke’s lip trembled. She wouldn’t cry. She couldn’t cry in front of Lexa Woods. 

“Lexa please, I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to. I didn’t see you coming. I would never ever try to do this on purpose. Please forgive me.” 

Lexa’s gaze softened as she analyzed the blonde. God, why did Clarke Griffin have to be the sweetest girl on earth? 

“Why do you care if I forgive you or not?”

Lexa released Clarke’s wrist and continued to scoop up the pieces into her palms. Clarke didn’t answer. She only grabbed at Lexa’s wrist and yanked it toward her causing some pieces to topple out of Lexa’s hands and crash to the ground once more. When Lexa flashed an angry glare at her, Clarke shrugged a sorry. 

“You’re bleeding,” Clarke pointed out and examined the small gash in Lexa’s palm from one of the glass bits. 

Lexa yanked her hand away. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” 

“Let me help you. Please.”

“Just leave me alone, Clarke!” 

Before the tiny blonde could try to convince her, Lexa shot up and ran back into her house and slammed the front door. Clarke sat, tired and defeated on the sidewalk, gazing longingly at Lexa’s baby blue front door. All she wanted was to help. Why was that so wrong? 

Clarke glanced down to where the previous pretty vase had sat, broken and incomplete. There was still a small shard with a tiny blue flower on it. Clarke picked it up carefully, so she didn’t hurt herself, and slipped it into her coveralls pocket. She hoped Lexa wouldn’t hate her forever. She stood up, dusted her knees off, and began to continue her walk to Raven’s. Her heart still ached knowing she caused Lexa to be so upset. Would they ever get along? 

Lexa slammed her bedroom door shut and dumped the remaining contents of her mother’s vase onto her desk next to her comic books and empty sprite bottles. She felt the hot tears burn her cheeks in thin streaks and she was so angry that she was breaking down. She was so angry that she was clumsy enough to bump into Clarke whilst not watching where she was going, and break it. She was angry at herself for bringing it outside in the first place. She could have left it inside where it would be unharmed. But she was only nine and she didn’t think too much on it like she usually did. 

“I just wanted to get you some pretty flowers for your pretty vase, Momma,” Lexa sobbed and ran her finger over a jagged edge of one of the pieces. “I wanted to take you to the pretty flower fields. But you don’t live in this vase. You don’t hear me when I speak to you. You left me! You, Daddy, Anya and Nyko left me! Why’d you do that Momma?” 

Lexa dropped to her knees once more and let her head fall in her folded arms on top of the desk. She sobbed, and hiccupped, and heaved. Her head was heavy, but not as heavy as her chest. Her forehead ached in dull pain from all of the tears and the cut on her palm began to sting. She begrudgingly stood up and rubbed at her runny nose with her hand and sniffled. She sighed heavily and threw her shoes off before climbing into bed and throwing herself entirely under the sheets. She felt the blood pooling in her palm, but her little heart hurt more than any cut or scrape ever could. So, she let it be. Before she began to slowly fall asleep, Clarke’s shocked, sad face popped into her head and only made her heart hurt more. She wished she could go to Clarke and hug her and tell it was okay, that she was sorry too. She wished she could tell her about her family. Why it had hurt so much. But she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She would settle for being the loner she had always been, and if that meant Clarke Griffin hating her forever so Lexa didn’t have to open up and let herself be vulnerable, then so be it. Sometimes things had to be a certain way. Lexa of all people, had always known that. 

 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

The blade sunk into a dry, paper thin skull with a sickening crunch and left Lexa feeling grumpier than she had that previous morning. The infected came at them like a bee attracted to flowers today and it was simply exhausting. She gazed into the lifeless, yellow eyes and yanked the blade out, causing a large spatter fall across the floor. She was tired of the heat, and frankly, she would rather be soaking in an ice bath, rinsing the blood and grime from her skin, and dreaming of other things than death and piss covered infected bodies. 

But as always, life didn’t go her way. At least not until Clarke had told her she loved her. That was a paradise day. A euphoric and beautiful feeling that she could never get rid of. Thank god, because she never wanted to get rid of it. It kept the light inside of her alive, and the darkness at bay. Lexa never thought of herself as a lucky person. She felt rather that she had bad luck. But as Clarke approached her and kissed her cheek, before scooping her into a tight embrace, Lexa thought she might have fallen off of a rainbow and straight into a leprechaun’s gold bucket. She was the luckiest girl in the world to have Clarke Griffin by her side. 

“Luna says we should stay here for the night,” Clarke said and placed a soft prolonged kiss to Lexa’s cheek. “What do you think?” 

Lexa hummed softly and ran her hands over Clarke’s back. Even in the sticky, suffocating heat, she wanted Clarke’s warmth wrapping her up. She wanted Clarke’s body on hers when the nights were too hot for blankets, and she wanted Clarke’s lips on hers in a sweaty heap when the sun was baking them into pastries. She just couldn’t get enough of her girl. 

“I think that’s a good idea. This place is hidden well enough, plus we’ve got more than one bed this time,” Lexa chuckled.

Clarke rolled her eyes at the memory and giggled. 

“Sharing a bed with you is a luxury, but add Luna starfishing the bed and nearly kicking us off and hogging the blankets the entire night, and I’d rather sleep on the floor.” 

“Ditto.” 

Luna shuffled in as if she were beckoned and lifted the dead body from the floor, the one Lexa just put to rest, and groaned at the weight. 

“Oh no worries, you two. I’ve completely got this massive infected man on my own. I can totally drag him outside by myself without throwing my back. Just make yourselves comfortable. Might as well pull up some chairs, pop some corn and watch.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes at her cousin and gripped the infected’s ankles and hoisted him up. Clarke walked past them to the glass back door and slid it open for them. 

“You’re dramatic, Luna,” Lexa scoffed. “This thing weighs nothing.”

“Alright,” Luna shrugged and dropped the infected man to the ground, making Lexa’s muscles tighten and groan as she struggled to carry the body on her own. 

“That’s what I thought,” Luna nodded and grabbed her side of the body once more, relieving Lexa of the heavy weight. 

“Well you don’t have to be so cocky.” 

“Of course I do. Do you not know me at all?” 

 

Later that night, the three girls sat in the living room as the dark tried touching them, but couldn’t with all of the convenient candles they had found in the cabinet of the master bathroom. Luna sat in a beat up recliner and talked about the memories she missed of college and frat parties as Lexa held Clarke in her arms on the sofa, listening with nothing much else to do. The house was creaky and old but it would do for a night or two. It was within the camouflage of trees and it was breezy enough to not bake them like an oven over the night. They all had somehow let themselves relax and to let the night take them to a place of long lost sanctuary. It was a good feeling for all of them. 

“So I guess I just kicked him in the face, right,” Luna drabbled on, “And he tried to play it off in front of his frat friends, but since we were all drinking too much, he fell over the pool table and passed out.” 

“Sounds like fun,” Lexa said numbly as she wove her fingers through Clarke’s blonde tresses. “So terribly upset I didn’t get to live out the wonderful college dream.” 

“I have a feeling you would’ve been the good girl gone bad,” Luna chuckled behind the nail she was biting. 

“Doubtful. I’d be studying like I should be.” 

“You’re no fun, Lexie Rexie.” 

“She’s fun in her own way,” Clarke mumbled in a groggy voice. Lexa was pretty sure she’d be falling asleep soon. 

“You only say that because you’re getting laid,” Luna chuckled and rose from the recliner. “Anyway, it’s time for beddy bye for you two. Clarke looks like she’s being whisked away to sleep. I’ll take first watch.” 

“Are you sure?” Lexa asked as Clarke pushed herself up from the couch. 

“Yeah, go get some sleep. I’ll wake you when it’s your turn.” 

Lexa nodded and turned to follow Clarke up the creaky wooden stairs and caught Clarke stumble. Lexa reached out and caught her, ignoring the knowing chuckle from Luna below. Clarke hummed a thanks and gripped Lexa’s hand as they ascended the stairway and found themselves in a long, dark hallway with a bit of light at the end from an open door. The moon had filtered in through the window and beaconed them to the end of the hall so invitingly. Clarke nearly crashed through the door and let herself plop onto the old bed, not noticing the puffs of dust going up around her. Lexa crinkled her nose and softly clutched Clarke’s arm to pull her up once more. 

Lexa stripped the bed of the sheets as a grumpy Clarke stood to the side with her arms folded across her chest. Lexa looked back at Clarke’s pout and rolled her eyes. 

“Do you want to sleep with the dust bunnies tonight?” 

Clarke begrudgingly shook her head. 

“Then be patient.” 

When the bed was just a mere naked mattress with old stains and plump pillows, Lexa walked over to Clarke and captured her in a long, chaste kiss leaving the blonde dizzy and wanting, suddenly feeling only a little less tired. 

“Your luxurious snooze brick awaits you,” Lexa smirks at Clarke’s half lidded eyes. 

“Snooze brick?” 

Lexa shrugged, “Sounded right.” 

The bed wasn’t luxurious, but it was definitely better than the stiff, dirty ground. The one thing it thankfully lacked was creaky springs and Clarke secretly thanked the previous owners of the house for that. Then she remembered they were dead, that they had put them out of their infected misery earlier that morning. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling that swept over Clarke just then. But then the mattress dipped and Lexa had her arm resting on her tummy and spreading short, warm kisses over her neck just like she loved so much. 

“I love when you do that,” Clarke hummed and craned her neck to give Lexa more access.

“What, this?” Lexa asked fauxing innocence and sucked on the skin harder with minor flicks of her tongue. 

Clarke’s breath caught in her throat at the captivating motion, and she managed a slight nod. 

“I thought you were tired.” 

Clarke vacantly shook her head as she got lost in the gratifying feeling of Lexa’s full lips sucking and massaging one of her most favorite places. 

“I think you should get some sleep, Clarke,” Lexa said sarcastically. “You’re exhausted.” 

“Please, Lex.” 

Lexa took pride in the strong whimper following after the beg.

“Please what, baby?” 

“You know - ah - fuck, you know what.” 

“Mmm, I’m not sure I do. I think you’re going to have to say it.” 

Clarke grumbled in annoyance. Lexa had moved her way down to Clarke’s clavicle, which happened to be another one of her favorite places. Lexa sucked marks into the excited snowy skin and tried to not give in and give everything to Clarke as she wanted. She wanted to take her time tonight. They never got the chance to in such a shitty anxious world. Lexa was thankful for their sparse time alone, and she was going to make the most of it. 

“Please, touch me,” Clarke whimpered and jutted her hips up eagerly. Lexa couldn’t have that. She swung a long, tanned leg over Clarke and straddled her winding waist, making her own throbbing center swoon. 

Lexa leant down and engulfed Clarke’s lips with her own in a wet, hot kiss making the both of them moan in unison. Clarke’s lips were a large, delightful wonder to Lexa. How could they feel so mesmerizing? How could they make Lexa want to drop on her knees and worship this woman every damn time? Lexa knew it would be this way. She had always sort of known since she was younger that if she ever allowed it, she would get swallowed up by Clarke’s beauty and generosity. She would fall into the blue eyes until the end of her days. She knew it all along and it used to anger her, not knowing why out of all people, Clarke Griffin was a person she felt something for. No one else had ever been as special except her dead family. Clarke was the one she admired throughout her childhood. Clarke was the one who tried so desperately all of their lives to befriend her and take her into her perfect world of rainbows and millions of friends and love. Lexa always backed away because she had never been more afraid of anything else in her life. To be vulnerable. To be so unabashedly loved. But now that she had fallen, she knew she’d never get back up and stand on her lonely legs again. Now that she had been in Clarke’s arms and kissed Clarke’s lips, she could never imagine being enveloped in any other soul left on earth. She was going to worship this beauty until her wrist cramped and her tongue throbs in belabor. 

Clarke flicked her tongue against the tip of Lexa’s and shot sparks of stars against the backs of her eyelids. Lexa let a growl escape her throat as she separated her lips from Clarke’s and began shedding the blonde’s clothes from her body in a haste. Clarke’s chest bobbed up and down as her erratic breaths filled and escaped her lungs, watching Lexa unbutton her dirty jeans and sliding them slowly down her legs. Clarke kicked them off and watched as Lexa pulled her flannel away from her frame and letting it drop to the carpeted floor without so much as a sound. With hungry eyes, Clarke watched as her lover shimmied out of her jeans, and deserted them along with the rest of their forgotten clothes. It was a beautiful sight, Lexa in nothing but her jet black panties with a small thread resting loose against her thigh, and that scar rising as if superior to the rest of her skin. Lexa was strong and obstinate and sexy and she was such a pure goddess. Clarke was nearly drooling just at the sight of her. 

Kisses on shapely thighs, and hands gliding over voluptuous curves, Lexa was in absolute heaven. There was nothing better than being able to kiss Clarke’s skin and show her just how much she loves her. God, she really loves the hell out of her. She will until she dies, and for them, she didn’t know when that would be considering the compromising world outside their love shell. She knew she had to spend each and every second of her time making sure Clarke knew she loved her with all of her heart and soul. 

Head thrown back and fingers tangled in wavy brown hair, Clarke was beginning to shake and Lexa hadn’t even made any contact with her wet center. She was writhing already just under Lexa’s lips against her skin. Lexa had sucked and licked Clarke’s nipples until they were hard enough to hold up a car. She knew Clarke was doing extremely well with being patient. She knew Clarke was so sensitive by now that she might just come from one tiny lick to her clit. Lexa couldn’t have that. 

Lexa kissed a trail down Clarke’s trembling tummy and gripped her hips with her fingers, digging them into the soft flesh as she nosed the small patch of blonde girls between her legs, inhaling the musky sweet scent of Clarke’s arousal. Clarke’s thighs were shaking and trembling with want and need, and she was sure she was going to explode. 

When Lexa’s vibrant green eyes locked on hers, Clarke nearly melted. Lexa got a mischievous grin and Clarke was about ready to just grip Lexa’s hair and push her down to relieve that throbbing ache in her core. Lexa pursed her lips and blew a soft gust of air against Clarke’s swollen clit. 

Clarke’s mind fizzled then and shots of pleasure spiked over her entire body in intense waves. Clarke was going to absolutely lose it if Lexa didn’t put her mouth on her already. She tried to lift her hips once more, but she was stopped but Lexa’s strong grip, pinning her to the bed. 

Lexa could see the inner irritation and conflict in Clarke’s cornflower blue eyes. She was tense and ready and dripping to the mattress. Lexa finally licked long and deliberately over Clarke’s drenched slit and Clarke nearly roared in satisfaction. Lexa smirked as Clarke’s back arched and her chest began to heave faster than it had been before to Lexa’s dismay. 

Deciding not to torture her lover any longer, Lexa dove right in and began assaulting the beating bud with her tongue and lips. The wet, musky and sweet taste filled her senses and she moaned hard into Clarke’s center, feeling a gush of wetness hit her chin. She brought two fingers up to Clarke’s center and they slide right in without any trouble. Clarke was moaning and whimpering, and she only grew louder the faster Lexa went. 

Lexa curled her fingers against Clarke’s spot in rhythm with her tongue on Clarke’s clit and sucked the bud between her lips. Clarke froze for one tiny second and then her moans were louder than before and Lexa gave a second thought to poor Luna downstairs probably hearing every bit of it. But then she focused on the way Clarke’s body had arched and her breasts moved up and down as she groaned and moaned and cursed and screamed Lexa’s name. Lexa could never grow tired of it. 

She stroked Clarke through her toe-curling orgasm until she became too sensitive. Lexa lapped up every single drop of Clarke’s juices and marveled in the taste. She could spend all night in between Clarke’s legs, but she knew her lover was tired, and wanted to make sure she got enough rest. 

Clarke had a dopey smile on her face when Lexa kissed up her body and planted her lips on Clarke’s, tasting her scent mingled between their tongues. 

They snuggled up together and Lexa traced lazy patterns into Clarke’s bare back, as Clarke began to doze off. 

“Now you’re definitely tired,” Lexa whispered and kissed Clarke’s forehead. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too, Clarke. So much. I’m so sorry for being mean to you when we were kids.” 

Clarke’s sleepy mind barely registered what her lover had said. 

“Hmm? That’s okay, babe. We were just kids.” 

Lexa bit her lip. “I wanted so badly to let you in. I just didn’t know how.” 

Clarke’s eyes opened then. “What do you mean?” 

“When my family died, I didn’t really know how to open up to anyone. I didn’t know how to talk to anyone or trust anyone except for my uncle Gus and Luna. I grew up being told what happened and I just didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know how to deal with what I was feeling. I was only five.” 

Lexa’s voice began to waver and Clarke shifted closer until their bodies were pressed firmly together in warmth. 

“Shh, baby it’s okay. I know,” Clarke soothed. “It’s okay.” 

“I actually wanted to be around you and that scared me. So I made sure I kept away because I was just so terrified of what I was feeling and what if we had gotten close? What if we had gotten close and you were taken away from me too?” 

“I will never be taken from you, Lexa” Clarke said with conviction. “You will not lose me. Not even in this corrupted and fucked up world filled with infected. We will protect each other. I love you. I would never have left you. And I never will now either.” 

Lexa nodded and smiled at the blonde beauty before her. How did she ever get so lucky to have such a wonderful girl? She knew Clarke was hers, and that nothing could ever take her. Death was too puny for the both of them, and they could conquer anything as long as they had each other.

They fell asleep tangled in each other, sharing a pillow and vibrating with love. It was a night they would always remember. A night they could never forget even if they had wanted to. Lexa opened up, and Clarke was there for her, reassuring her. Just like Lexa knew she would. 

 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

There were actual birds tweeting outside the window when Clarke blinked open her sleep coated eyes. Light filtered through the window in the room and cast an angelic glow on the woman sleeping beside her. She was so in love, she almost felt like they were just two high school students again without the effects of the end of the world trying to stomp them into the ground constantly. Clarke was giddy and she couldn’t help it. 

She leaned down and kissed the space between Lexa’s shoulder blades before setting her bare feet on the floor. She cringed at the rough carpet against her feet and trudged over to the pile of clothes strewn carelessly to the ground. She grinned at the aftermath of the pile of clothes. 

Once Clarke got dressed, she made her way out of the room and down the hallway leaving Lexa to sleep in her deep slumber. 

Lexa blinked her eyes open thirty minutes later to an empty bed, and were there birds tweeting outside? She felt beyond rested, unlike how she’d felt waking up on the ground with an achy neck and a pained neck. She always felt good sleeping in Clarke’s arms, no matter where they were, but for some reason last night was euphoric. 

When Lexa was zipping her pants up, and had everything else on, Clarke barged through the door and Lexa jumped nearly 10 feet into the air. Clarke was pale and she looked purely panicked which only made Lexa’s heart begin to suffocate her lungs 

“What? What’s happened?” 

“Luna’s not here. I searched everywhere and her stuff is gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHERES LUNA? I'm so sorry if this chap wasn't the best. I'm really trying to get as much writing in as I can between summer school and babysitting. I've been exhausted but I definitely write when I can :) Comments and Kudos make my heart warm and sweet! I hope you all enjoy this chap and I'll try to write a better one soon.


	8. Take Me

“Lex, slow down. It’s going to be okay,” Clarke huffed tiredly behind the brunette with long legs that went for miles and panic that went on extra longer than that. 

“How do you know that? God, Clarke she’s just gone! Her stuff is gone, the blanket she had before we went to sleep last night is gone. All of the food is gone. What the fuck happened? How am I supposed to slow down? What if she got hurt or infected, or what if she just took everything and ran away?” 

“Lexa,” Clarke gripped the girl’s wrist and spun her backward, causing her body to be flushed with Clarke’s. “Focus okay? Our best guess is the woods. Let’s look there. But you need to calm down and think straight. Think of what your uncle taught you when you were young. Did he teach you to track?” 

Lexa glanced down at Clarke’s lips and scolded herself for wanted to lick over them in that very minute. She shot her eyes back up to big blue ones and gulped before nodding. 

“Good, then we’ll see if we can track her. Maybe she isn’t too far. We don’t know when she left the house.” 

If everything wasn’t so jumbled in Lexa’s head, she’d be thanking Clarke and telling her how great of a survivor she is and that Lexa would be nowhere without her. But instead, she plucked a chaste kiss from Clarke’s lips and turned around without another word, stomping into the woods. Clarke brushed her dirty fingertip over the seam of her lips and savored the salty sweet taste of Lexa still resting there. She knew Luna wasn’t really anything but another companion to her, but she was scared too, for Lexa’s sake. Lexa had lost everyone she’d ever loved. Her family was a man with a beer and a cousin with wit and care. As far as they knew, the first was already gone and would never be seen again. They had to find Luna. And fast. 

 

////////////////////////////////////////

 

A rubbery nose nudged softly at a stray cherry that had fallen from a tree to the dirt ground. Surrounded by weeds and bugs and mud. A rubbery nose sniffed at the thing a few feet away from it. It was about the same size with the same texture but surely a whole different taste entirely. It still had the optic nerve stem attached to it, and the veins were swollen and puffy. But of course, the animal with the wet rubbery nose did not seem to care. A tentative, pink tongue swiped a lick against the eyeball and as it flopped over, maggots were revealed. Before the brown animal could swipe some squirming larvae into its hungry mouth, a twig snapped and it ran off into the opposite direction with knocking knees and precise speed. 

“There goes our potential dinner,” Lexa sighed in defeat. 

“I guess it also missed its own dinner,” Clarke grimaced at the rotting corpse of a middle aged man splayed on the dirt. 

Lexa plopped herself down on the ground and braced herself against a tree trunk and rested her head in her hands. Her skin was flaked in piles of dirt and mud, and her long, thin fingers were scratched and bloody. Her clothes were no better; ripped at the seams and reeking of death, splashed with dried blood and guts. She was tired. Clarke glanced down at the weathered girl and frowned. They had lost Luna’s trail a day ago, and Lexa wouldn’t rest until she found it again. She only stopped to let Clarke sleep for a few hours and wouldn’t catch her own few hours of rest even when Clarke begged her to. She wasn’t giving up, but she also wasn’t superhuman as much as she wanted to think so. 

“Lex, it’ll be okay,” Clarke dropped down beside her lover and gripped her hand in her own. Lexa jerked it away and tried to ignore the hurt expression that crossed Clarke’s face. 

“It’s not okay, Clarke. It’s been five days and we still haven’t found Luna. She’s my family. Who knows what the hell happened to her? And we’re just here. What if someone’s using her or what if someone killed her?” 

“We’re doing the best we can.” 

“Well what if it isn’t good enough? God, Clarke. Nothing ever is.” 

Lexa stood up, shifted her bag on her shoulder and walked on without giving so much as a second glance to Clarke. 

To the blonde, the world could not have been more tipped. 

But then her father’s own words rang in her head. Not that she could lift her wrist anymore to get the effect, but it was still pretty damn important. 

When she caught up with Lexa, she was coughing and hacking at nothing but the sour air that forced too much of itself in her lungs. Lexa looked at her with sad eyes but steeled herself once again and kept walking. 

“You remember that watch I lost in the river? The one my dad gave to me?” Clarke rasped out as soon as she composed herself. 

Lexa nodded. 

“I was always losing track of time. I don’t know why but it always seemed to slip away from me no matter what I was doing. When he got me that watch, he told me that I could just lift my wrist and be at time’s kiss.” 

Lexa listened to Clarke’s soothing voice and felt her own panic start to slowly crumble away. Clarke always had a way of doing that for her. Even when they were kids and Lexa pretended to hate her. Clarke was a beam of light, oozing honey and everything cliche that the brunette could think of. Clarke had secretly been her home all of these years without ever knowing it. Lexa hadn’t quite known until then either. 

“I don’t have to lift my wrist to know that we will find Luna. We are always at time’s kiss, Lexa. We’re doing what we can. We always have.” 

“I believe you,” Lexa sighed. Clarke felt nothing more needed to be said. 

Minutes of long stretched silence, they kept walking. When Lexa thread her fingers through Clarke’s and joined their hands, the world seemed to only tip itself back up on its axis. Only a little.

 

//////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“I miss honey,” Lexa added to their ongoing game of what foods they missed. 

The end result left their already shrunken stomachs seem to growl even more and their mouths overly salivating was just another negative to the entire game. But despite that, it gave Clarke and Lexa a nostalgic feeling and something to do other than panic and feel helpless. Lexa felt herself ease around Clarke simply just because Clarke gave her this. Clarke gave her much needed distraction and calmness. She gave her hope without the internal anxiety. Maybe they were getting somewhere in finding Luna. It was just a false hope, but Lexa held onto it anyway. 

“Mmmm,” Clarke hummed with her eyes closed, remembering what it felt like to have that oozy sweet nectar on her tongue. “Honey was great. I’m sure we could find some somewhere. Bees couldn’t be too harmful right?” 

Lexa bit her lip and shook her head. “I don’t think so. The mosquitos seem to carry the disease. But I doubt the bees would.” 

“If we see a beehive anywhere, I’ll get us some. Gotta have that shit again.” 

“That shit huh?” Lexa snorted. 

“Yeah,” Clarke rolled her eyes. “I miss raspberry creme soda too.” 

“It was never my favorite.” 

“What?! You’re kidding right?” Clarke glanced at Lexa incredulously, but kept up her pace. 

“Unfortunately, I am not kidding. I’ve always enjoyed root beer the most.” 

“Root beer?” Clarke scrunched up her nose. “There were tons of soda flavors and you chose to like root beer most?” 

“I didn’t choose, Clarke. My tastebuds did. And it’s actually very refreshing. Although water will always be my go to.” 

“Lame.” 

“Says you.” 

Clarke mocked offense and swatted haphazardly at Lexa’s arm, causing the brunette to chuckle for the first time in days. Clarke missed it. 

“Do you see that?” Lexa asked once she scanned the long stretch of forest ahead of them.

Clarke’s eyes roamed the expanse of brown trunks and green canopies of leaves ahead until she saw a small glint of gray in the distance. 

“What do you think it is?” Clarke asked and threaded her fingers through Lexa’s. 

“Let’s go find out.” 

They stepped through the thick brush of the trail they used to get a close up of what had caught Lexa’s eye and found a large opening of overgrown grass chewed in some places and cut in others. Gravestones sat straight, lopsided and cracked all over the grassy ground and made Clarke’s previously calm heart pound. None of the gravestones had names or carvings. But some had black scribbles on them, scraggly writing and even doodles. 

Lexa stepped cautiously to one of gravestones and squatted down to scan it over, reading the scribbled words in black sharpie on it aloud. 

“Here lies Beth Ganister, 1997 to 2013. Loving daughter, sister and girlfriend. May the wind carry you home.” 

Clarke shivered at the cryptic, yet cliche marker and found her feet taking her to the grave beside it. She squinted at the clumsy handwriting that surely came from a child. 

“Rest in peace mommy. Daddy is taking care of me. I love you, daddy loves you. I am bitten but I am okay momma. I will draw you a picture.” And below it was a small doodle of a small child holding hands with a woman with long hair and arms coming out of her face to hold hands with the child whom also had hands sprouting from the sides of her face. Lexa shuddered beside Clarke and rested her hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Above it in big, scribbled letters said ‘Mommy and Hannah’

“I don’t want to look at the grave next to this one,” Clarke shook her head and tried to hold back the tears. 

“Then we won’t.” Lexa soothed and leaned over to place her lips in a lingering kiss to Clarke’s soft cheek. “Let’s keep moving, honey. We might be really close to finding Luna.” 

Clarke nodded at Lexa’s soothing voice and let her girlfriend hold her hand and pull her to the edge of the forest where they would be leaving the gravesite behind. 

Before Lexa could tug Clarke into the concealed safety of the trees, Clarke turned her head to read the grave beside the one with the child’s hand writing. When she processed what it said, she felt her stomach lurch in nausea and the tears trickled down her face. 

“Here lies Hannah Plever. 2008 to 2013. A child that was saved from hell on earth and cradled in heaven’s arms”

Clarke rolled her eyes at the last term. Heaven wasn’t real. Not even when Lexa wiped her tears away and told her the child was in a better place did she believe it. Looking into the intense green of Lexa’s eyes, she realized heaven was what you made it or what made itself for you. Lexa was her heaven. And she never ever wanted to stray too far away from her. 

With the thought pronounced and heavy in Clarke’s heart, she stopped walking causing Lexa to stop and lift an inquisitive eyebrow. Clarke hadn’t ever realized her lips were parted, open for heaving breaths to spill past them. 

Lexa was about to ask if the blonde was okay until Clarke had pushed her up against a tree and was kissing her with renewed and animalistic ferocity and passion. Lexa moaned at the soft feel of Clarke’s lips against her own. She hadn’t felt it for the past few days, what with being so wound up over finding Luna and focusing on their trail. It was like a child tasting its favorite candy after an extremely long time, and devouring it. Savoring it. 

Clarke ran her tongue over the seam of Lexa’s lips and Lexa allowed her entrance greedily. Lexa gripped the blonde’s hips hard and pushed them flushed against hers, feeling the pooling heat in the pit of her tummy as soon as Clarke slid her thigh between Lexa’s legs. 

Lexa’s hands fumbled under Clarke’s shirt and found themselves set on the soft creamy skin of her heated tummy. Lexa groaned at the contact and slid one hand around to grip Clarke’s dimpled lower back whilst her other hand glided upwards until she cupped a bare breast. A rosy nipple pebbled underneath Lexa’s fingers and she couldn’t help but let out a strained whimper. 

Buttons were being popped on both girls jeans when the scream came. Clarke tore her lips away from Lexa’s and they both turned their heads to the direction the noise came from. It certainly wasn’t either of them. Their chests heaved as their breathing raggedly entered and exited their bodies. Clarke’s hand was dipped halfway into Lexa’s underwear and Clarke’s left nipple was still pinched lightly between Lexa’s thumb and index finger. Clarke was almost half ready to ignore it and continue, but her mind won over her arousal need. 

Another scream shot out then, alerting Lexa and making her eyes go wide as the realization hit her. 

“Luna!” Lexa exclaimed and yanked her hand from under Clarke’s shirt at the same time Clarke pulled her hand out of Lexa’s pants and began buttoning up her own. Before either girl knew it, they were both running in the direction of the now persistent screams that were definitely coming from Luna. The sounds made Lexa’s blood boil and hot spikes shoot up her arms as the adrenaline filled anxiety nearly took over every inch of her body. What if someone was hurting her? What if they were too late? Lexa pumped her legs faster and Clarke ran a fast second behind her. 

 

They erupted outside of the woods and onto a crumpled abandoned gravel driveway in a heap of energy and desperation. Lexa’s chest heaved as she took off in the direction of a small cabin with cracked windows and syringes for a garden. Clarke trailed close behind, trying to catch up to Lexa before she got them into trouble by going on her instinct to fight for what she loves. It was endearing to Clarke mostly, except in situations like this. 

Before Clarke could reach her, Lexa had burst through the front door barely hanging on its hinges. But she had stopped dead in her tracks, nearly speechless. Clarke’s heart nearly stopped, the sight of Lexa so shocked scared the shit out of her. 

When she caught up with Lexa, she stopped too at the sight before them. Heaving breaths, red faced, Clarke stared at a tied up Luna with burn marks on her arms. Her head slunk down in relief once she saw the two familiar faces. 

But Clarke and Lexa stared at Luna’s captors in complete and total shock, and the two captors mimicked them. 

Clarke finally cleared her throat and spoke without trying to expose her fear. 

“What the hell are you doing with Lexa’s cousin? I never thought we’d see you again.” 

Lexa knocked herself out of her own revelation and cleared her throat. 

“Raven, Octavia. What have you done?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long to do. I am so sorry for that. Thank you all for being so patient with me. I really hope you like this chapter and that it makes up for me being gone for so long. I promise smut next chapter as well. I finished summer school early, and I've bought myself three sodas and a big thing of tea to celebrate. Also, finished this chapter considering I felt I had it in me. Tell me what ya think. Kudos and comments make my heart start back up again after being shut down for a bit :) Thank you all again for reading and giving me your patience.


	9. Venus in Furs

There wasn’t anything better in the world than warm water coming out in fresh spurts from a rusty shower head. At least not to Clarke. She hadn’t felt the heavenly effect of a shower in months. Almost a whole year. She silently thanked herself for becoming best friends with a genius when she was eight. A mechanic genius. A mechanical genius who nearly tortured Lexa’s cousin to death. She felt herself shudder at the horrific sight Luna was in when she and Lexa found her. It was all a misunderstanding. At least to anyone who was willing to see it that way. Which was Clarke and Octavia. Lexa and Luna were still very angry at Raven, because Raven felt she deserved it. Does anyone deserve it these days?

Luna had once been with Octavia and Raven. When she walked out one morning before the other two had time to awaken, she left with nothing but the clothes on her back. At least that was how she put it. Raven woke up to their things having been ransacked. And but of course, the two had no other choice to believe it had been Luna. The sarcastic girl Raven began to have the hots for. Which only made things worse. 

“She stole our stuff!” Raven said defensively as she glared daggers at the tied up Luna. “She took our things and left us on our own.” 

“I took nothing!” Luna had then interjected. “I left with nothing!” 

“Your pants must be on fire because I smell fucking lies!” 

The room had been full of panic then. Lexa, running to untie her, Octavia holding Raven back, Clarke screaming at the two girls she had called her best friends. To put it lightly, it had been a mess. But as soon as they were all able to calm down and think of it rationally, things seemed to dissolve the slightest and they could hold conversations without it turning into a yelling match. 

The house was perfect to stay in for a little while considering Raven found a generator and hooked up the water and some lights. Lexa still didn’t trust Raven but she was slowly accepting Octavia, feeling the genuine apologies each time she said them. Raven seemed to forget anyone else was there at all except Luna. And the tattered woman just looked as if she wanted to sleep until the earth completely fell apart and killed them all. It wasn’t the best mix at first, but Clarke figured it would slowly but surely ease its way into familiarity. They could all survive together if they just worked at it. 

But right then, all Clarke could care about is the feeling of warm water cascading down her body in delightful streams. The water pressure wasn’t at its full potential but she couldn’t have cared less. Matter of fact, she thought she liked it better that way. 

She hadn’t even noticed Lexa stepping into the shower behind her until thin arms wrapped around her waist and warm hands settled on her tummy. She hummed in delight and rested her head back on Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa kissed the blonde’s temple and started to rub her hands over slick creamy skin. 

“Raven may be a complete asshole, but maybe this is one thing I can thank her for,” Lexa spoke into the misty air. 

“Is that so?” 

“Mhm,” Lexa nodded and slid her hands further down until her fingers were met with a patch of blonde curls. 

“In fact, I think there’s something we could do to calm our nerves just a bit.”

Clarke’s breath hitched as deft fingers slid over her folds. God, Lexa always took her breath away. 

“W-what may that be?” Clarke stuttered. 

Lexa didn’t answer as one of her fingers slid easily into Clarke in less than a second. Clarke gasped. She knew she would’ve fallen over if Lexa’s free arm wasn’t holding her up right. Clarke pushed her ass into Lexa’s pelvis as Lexa worked her finger inside of Clarke, curling against that one spot that made her see stars. 

“Fuck. Lexa” Clarke gasped. 

Lexa added another finger then slowly reached her other hand down to rub tight circles over the blonde’s clit whilst planting sloppy kisses over the expanse of her neck. 

“Lexa, I’m - Oh fuck” Clarke sputtered as her own fist flew to her mouth. She bit into her skin with vigor as her orgasm washed over her in heavy waves. Her legs shook violently and her own moans rumbled through her throat, fit enough to make her body thrum with the vibrations. 

Lexa slowly soothed Clarke through her orgasm until Clarke was slumped over, collecting her breathing. Clarke was always so beautiful. She was beautiful when she got barely any sleep. She was beautiful when she saw something she could potentially paint. She was beautiful when she was angry and annoyed. She was even beautiful when she was slicing the infected’s heads off. But god, she was so beautiful like this. Vulnerable, blissed and spent. Eyes screwed shut, blonde hair plastered to her slippery skin, water droplets running down her neck, chest rising and falling trying to inhale enough air for her limp body. It was a sight Lexa could never grow tired of. She marveled in it every single time. And if there’s anything Lexa could savor in a world such as the one they’re living in, it would be Clarke, sated and pleasured, rid of clothes with water snaking down her body. It would always be Clarke. 

She was too consumed within her thoughts to fully realize what was happening until she was pressed against the cool tiles of the shower wall, looking down into large lust-filled blue eyes. Clarke had turned around, picked her up and pressed her there, with her own hot, wet center rubbing against Clarke’s abdomen. Lexa had absentmindedly hooked her ankles against the small of Clarke’s back, and Clarke started moving herself against Lexa, feeling the slip slide of Lexa’s throbbing center against her stomach. It was a dizzying feeling. A whirlwind of pleasure and love and desperation. And Clarke couldn’t wait anymore. 

The green of Lexa’s eyes were early swallowed whole by the black of her irises, and the water was getting colder and Raven and Octavia would whine about them using up the warmth later, but neither girl cared. Not in the slightest. And when Clarke slid two fingers into Lexa’s ready core, but moaned in unison at the friction and the heat. Wetness dripped down Clarke’s wrist and she knew it wasn’t from the shower. Lexa was ready for her to make love to her after all of the hell they’ve been through in the past few days. Lexa was ready to completely lose herself in Clarke and never come back again. 

Clarke moved slowly at first. Her eyes never leaving Lexa’s until she added a third finger and Lexa couldn’t help but screw her eyes shut at the feeling of being gloriously filled. Filled by Clarke Griffin. Her old next door neighbor that she tried to convince herself she couldn’t be friends with. She couldn’t love. Oh, but god she was such a liar. She loved her so much. She always had. She just never wanted to admit it. But in this world, you could lose every damn thing that means the universe to you. And she couldn’t bare losing Clarke. She couldn’t imagine living in this world without Clarke knowing she loved her. It just wouldn’t do. 

Clarke leaned in and slid her tongue over pouty pink lips, before sealing them with her own in a passionate blender of lips and teeth and tongue. When Clarke’s lips closed around Lexa’s tongue and sucked,she felt her chest nearly cave and her legs were two separate hurricanes, trembling in rhythm with Clarke’s thrusts. 

“Let go baby,” Clarke whispered as she kissed the shell of her ear. “Come for me, Lex.” 

She never could deny Clarke. 

Her thighs clamped tight against Clarke’s hips and she threw her head back against the wall with a dull thump. Clarke hurriedly cupped the back of Lexa’s head with her free hand, but her other occupied hand kept going, stroking and thrusting Lexa through an intense orgasm. If the bathroom walls could talk, they wouldn’t be heard through Lexa’s moans and gasps of pleasure. But if they could be heard, all they’d be able to say is Clarke’s name just like Lexa. 

 

Later after their hair had dried and they regained their composure, Clarke and Lexa found themselves bundled up together on the torn black leather couch in the livingroom of the house while Raven made a meal out of rabbit meat, and Octavia talked to fill the silence. Luna sat in a recliner by the fire in the chimney with a scowl that never seemed to leave her face. Whenever Raven looked up from her culinary task, she had the same one.

“So maybe we could just stay here for awhile,” Octavia sighed. “It’s pretty well hidden, and we could put up some fences and wire to protect us. We could even make large spikes around the perimeter of the house just in case any of the infected try to get to us when no one’s on watch.” 

“First of all, someone should always be on watch. It would be foolish to wait like sitting ducks just because we set up a couple of mouse traps,” Luna piped up. “Second of all, we can’t stay. We’re headed to California.” 

“We?” Raven asked from the open kitchen glaring at Luna. 

“Clarke, Lexa and I. We.” 

Raven dropped her knife and it clanged to the counter, drawing everyone’s attention. 

“We are all in this together now,” Raven spat. “Octavia and I are Clarke’s best friends. She would never leave us.” 

“That’s right,” Clarke sighed and looped one of Lexa’s chestnut strands of hair around her finger. “I won’t leave without them.” 

“You won’t leave without the people who tortured me,” Luna stated matter of factly. “How nice.” 

“It was all just a misunderstanding,” Octavia chimed in softly. “But you have to think of it from our point of view, Luna. Imagine you trust someone enough to take them in and share your food and weapons with them for months. Then imagine next, you wake up and they’re gone along with all of your food and you’re left with a gun and a knife to survive with. Who else could we have thought it was?” 

The room went silent as everyone turned to look at Luna. Her scowl had only softened the tiniest bit, but Lexa knew more than anything that Luna knew Octavia was right. It was the only rational explanation. 

Raven had begun preparing their food once more and Lexa was kissing Clarke’s fingers whilst Octavia had picked up a book she found when Luna spoke. 

“You’re right and I completely understand.” 

Everyone turned to look at the skinny girl with bruises on her cheek bones and cuts on her brow and lips. Her eyes were watering. 

“I can understand as to why you thought it had been me. But I promise you my life that I took nothing from you. I only had with me what had belonged to me. Nothing else.” 

Octavia and Raven both nodded at her words and the room was silent once more. Only this time, it was a comfortable silence that left them all feeling a lot less heavy than before. 

 

/////////////////////////

 

“We’re headed to bed,” Clarke announced as both she and Lexa stood up from the couch and stretched their croaky limbs. Their bellies were full for once in a blue moon, and they felt warm and content. For the first time, they weren’t consumed with paranoia or panic. They could rest for once within the safe zone of this house and their friends. It was a snow cone on a summer day. 

“I’m still taking first watch,” Raven announced and began to move to the front door. 

“I’ll take watch in the back,” Octavia announced and padded over to the back door before sliding it open and sitting on an old wicker chair. She flipped open her book, clicked on her flashlight and read. 

“Sleep well. We’ll wake you when it’s your turn,” Raven nodded at Clarke and Lexa but completely acted as if Luna wasn’t there. 

Clarke and Lexa simultaneously nodded and walked up the stairs, not waiting for Luna knowing full well they wouldn’t be followed. 

When Clarke shut the door behind them and watched Lexa climb into bed, her heart throbbed. She finally felt content and they were lucky enough to have found this place let alone the two people she thought she’d never see again. They were lucky enough to have food in their tummies and a bed to sleep in with actual blankets that didn’t have blood stains on them. Luck was finally on their side. But that’s not to say it would be that way always. 

Clarke climbed into the bed next to Lexa and snuggled under the covers into her lover’s side. Lexa was warm and smelled like pine trees and her skin radiated comfortable heat that Clarke felt she was growing addicted to. She kissed a tan shoulder and placed her head on Lexa’s chest, just over her slow heartbeat. So steady and comforting was the beat that it could almost lull her to sleep. But then she heard hushed voices, and her eyes heavily blinked open. 

“You hear that?” Clarke asked. 

“Mhm,” Lexa sighed. “I guess they’re talking maturely for once.” 

The blonde nodded and tried hard not to eavesdrop. But what could you do in a world full of walking dead and survival/power crazy people? Listen in and pretend you aren’t. 

“I just don’t understand who else could’ve done it,” Clarke heard Raven say softly. “If it were a group of men or something they surely would’ve taken us and abused us or raped us.” 

“I don’t know honestly,” Luna sighed heavily. “It could’ve been women. Or maybe even children surviving on their own.” 

For a beat, there was only silence. Then a hushed, “I’m sorry.” 

Then there wasn’t any talking and Clarke was convinced they just left it at that. But then there was labored breathing and a bit of smacking lips that had Clarke’s cheeks glowing red and a knowing smirk on her face. 

Lexa’s head jolted up, startling Clarke. She had an incredulous expression on her face and she shot Clarke a confused look. 

“Are they kissing?” She whisper- yelled. 

Clarke chuckled and nodded her head. 

“I think they might have worked it out.” 

Lexa laid her head back down on the pillow and shook her head. Those two were beyond dramatic. They were really going to stress her out enough to pop her like a grape. 

“I’m glad, though,” Clarke mumbled into the dark. “It hopefully won’t be as strained when we’re all together now.” 

“One can only hope,” Lexa mumbled into Clarke’s hair before kissing her temple. 

Clarke looked up at her lover before sliding her finger over Lexa’s pronounced jawline. 

“You know, I love you so much, Lexa.”

Lexa smiled and kissed Clarke’s lips softly before settling down into the mattress and running her fingers through Clarke’s hair as the blonde rested her head on her chest. 

“I love you too, Clarke. From womb to tomb.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHOWER SEX and some minor Sea Mechanic. I'm so sorry again for the long wait. I'll try to update really soon and I'm actually really proud of myself for finishing this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed and I'm definitely going to try to update a lot more frequently now. Kudos and comments make my heart tingle and I miss these two lovey dovey saps. Tell me what ya think! Also there will definitely be a huge twist in the next chapter. Things are going to get a whole lot more extreme. Hope y'all are ready!


	10. Your Pain is Mine Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Talk of rape and bad name calling. Just a warning that this chapter is a little more graphic and has talks of rape.

The flowers were intoxicating. They were soft and heavenly against her naked skin as she walked through them. Her bare feet glided over wet blades of grass and she felt the bees kissing her breasts as if they were made of sweet pollen. It was bright and radiant and Lexa ran her fingers over the many colors, feeling them liquefy against her fingertips, turning into buckets of rain. Things were beautiful and tranquil in this euphoric realm. It was peaceful. Something she wanted to cherish. She knew somewhere distant in her mind that she would lose it all. But it was as if she was compelled to not dwell on it. To enjoy this place while she could. So she did. And when she saw blonde hair glowing like a wispy halo, she knew this must be what heaven is. No angels, no god, no zombies. Just her and Clarke in a field of flowers, embedded in warmth from the sun. Clarke was in a white dress, her eyes extremely blue in the soft hues of the sun. Lexa felt the softness ache in her chest. Clarke turned around, smiling bright. She reached a hand out to her and Lexa wasn’t hesitant to grab it

But then heavy smoke filled her nostrils as she coughed and sputtered, desperately trying to breathe. Just breathe. She half expected this was just some nightmare that Clarke would wake her up from, kiss her trembling lips and snuggle her back to a deep sleep. But it simply wasn’t. It happened too fast for either of them to completely grasp. 

Lexa had fallen asleep with Clarke’s head on her chest, bundles up close to her. She had been in that safe haven of flowers and warmth and Clarke before she woke up to Raven’s screams. Clarke had shot up instantly, which jostled Lexa from a hole of calmness and ejected her into a whirlwind of alert. Clarke threw the covers off of them and jumped up from the bed where she slid her boots on and ran to the door. She stopped in her tracks to glance back at Lexa. 

Without any thought, Lexa stood up and took two large strides to Clarke. They stared into one another’s eyes, green meeting blue in an intense hit. What would’ve been affection or lust was replaced with panic. Exchanged from the both of them without having to speak, they surged forward at the same time locking their lips in a passionate kiss before separating and trudging down the hall together. 

The air was replaced with smoke, not even small capsules of air could stop them from coughing and sputtering against the cruel ashy mist. When they found the front door, Lexa squeezed through it, thanking the probably non-existent heavens above that it had not caught fire yet. The entire downstairs was enveloped in angry red flames. Lexa just wanted to get them out of there. 

Lexa saw two figures standing on the lawn and saw one to be Octavia and the other was Luna. But where was Raven?

“Clarke!” A shriek run through the hungry flames and the thick smoke. Clarke’s head jerked back before she could slide through the open front door that had been stuck open only enough for her body to snuggly fit through. Clarke glanced at Lexa, the answer already evident in her eyes, but Lexa couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t let Clarke risk herself. 

“Clarke, no!” Lexa screamed, gripping her hand hard and pulling her towards her. Clarke shook her head, tears streaming down her sooty cheeks. 

“I have to go save her, Lex,” Clarke yelled over the pieces of ceiling falling around her. “I’ll be right out. I promise.” 

“Clarke, please!” the desperation in Lexa’s voice tugged on the strings of Clarke’s heart. She knew Lexa had lost everyone she ever loved. She knew how hard it was for her to cope with even now. But she had to make sure Raven was safe. She couldn’t live with herself if she just left her in the burning house they had been so comfy in just hours before. 

“I promise,” Clarke finally said. She kissed Lexa’s shaky hand before pulling herself free and running back into the haven of black smoke and roaring flames. 

“No! Clarke!” Lexa exclaimed. But Clarke was already gone.

 

Clarke coughed and hacked as she struggled to keep her stinging eyes open enough to see through the smoke. It was a violent fire. A fire that couldn’t have started from the small one they had in the chimney earlier. Octavia had put it out before they went on watch anyway. It wouldn’t make sense. 

“Raven!” Clarke yelled out between coughing fits. 

“Clarke! I’m stuck!” 

“I’m coming Rae!” 

Clarke stepped over a broken chair and nearly burned herself in the process. The flames were spreading incredibly fast, and it was getting increasingly harder to breathe let alone keep her eyes open to find Raven. But Clarke Griffin was not a quitter. Never had been, never will be. And if she has to die saving her best friend’s life, she’ll do it. She wouldn’t ever consider anything else. 

A large part of the ceiling caved through and fell just a few feet behind her, effectively blocking her way from the front door. Her only known escape route. Her head grew heavy with dizziness, lack of air. Her limbs were starting to tingle and the flames in front of her were beginning to blur. But she couldn’t give up. Wouldn’t give up. 

She finally spotted Raven in the kitchen, her leg pinned to the ground by some fallen cabinets that were infested with tons of flames. It looked like the pile of trash and wood you put together for a bonfire party in a field. Only this time, Raven was roasting under it. Not as fun. 

Clarke bent down and pushed at the pile of heavy wood with all of her might. At first it wouldn’t budge and her arms were beginning to feel like wet noodles. But then she stood up, gathered up all of her frustration and kicked at the pile. Some of it tumbled over, causing a large matter of flames to rain to the wood floor. Clarke bent down once more and pushed at the wood as Raven struggled under it. When the wood finally gave out with another harsh shove, Raven yelped out in pain. Clarke felt her insides fill with smoke. She was disintegrating. She was falling away. 

No. She couldn’t. She promised herself she’d save Raven. She promised Lexa she would get back to her. She promised Lexa. 

Her lungs were begging for air. She wheezed hard as she grabbed Raven’s arm and slung it over her shoulder. She lifted the brunette up and scanned the area of the house. Flames. Just wide, open flames eating up the house as if it were a gourmet dessert. She spotted the open sliding glass door just a few steps away and felt a wave of relief settle over her. 

“Come on… Raven… Just a few more… Steps,” Clarke struggled to speak. Raven was coughing hard through the smoke. She could see dry spit forming around her lips, and god how long have they been in there? It felt like hours, maybe days if they had to exaggerate.

She finally had them out the door and onto the tiny creaky porch when the bottom floor including the kitchen they were just in had been consumed in flames. Fire. Smoke. Ash. It was everywhere. Clarke’s face was red under all of the soot and if her brain had the right amount of care at the moment, she’d be able to feel the 2nd degree burns on her arms and legs. But all she could feel was her body shutting down. 

The cool grass of the backyard hit her cheek and she smiled. She got them out. Raven survived. She was going to be okay. Clarke kept Lexa’s promise. She was okay. But then her vision was going white, and her heart was slowing and Raven’s palms where on her cheeks. Her name being screamed sounded like desperate whispers. And she was welcomed in the arms of complete and total blackness.

 

“It’s been too long,” Lexa panicked as she stared at the house. She needed to go to her. She needed to get Clarke out of there. She would’ve right ran after her right away if Luna hadn’t carried her kicking and screaming into the bushes where Octavia sat heaving. She would’ve risked her life to save Clarke’s in one single heartbeat. But Clarke was just as stubborn. 

“They’ll make it out,” Luna soothed Lexa in a shaky whisper. “They’ll make it.” 

As Luna’s sentence finished, the entire roof of the house collapsed into the bottom floor and the the flames were bright enough to be a beacon to every single infected being out there. Lexa let out a loud sob and fell to her knees. She knew she was screaming. She knew she was probably loud enough to draw more attention to them than the house. But she couldn’t seem to stop. When she got to her feet and tried to run to the house, Luna wrapped her arms around her waist and stopped her, rooted her to her place far from the house. Far from Clarke. 

“Let me go! Fuck!” Lexa shrieked and thrashed in her cousin’s arms. She didn’t care about anything then. She only cared about Clarke. Clarke Clarke Clarke. 

“It’s too dangerous, Lexa! Stop it!” Luna yelled. 

“Clarke! Clarke!” Lexa heaved and gasped as the hot tears rolled down her cheeks in thick streams. “No! No.. Fuck!” 

Octavia stood up and pressed her hand against her brow as she squinted into the distance. She felt her own blood grow cold at the image before her. The collapsed house. Her two best friends potentially inside. She began to cry silent tears. As Luna battled against Lexa’s broken down form. But more than that, she saw something that made her gut twist. A black car. They didn’t have a black car. 

“What the fuck?” Octavia breathed out.

Lexa stopped her squirming and screaming long enough to glance over at Octavia, exasperated. 

“What?” Luna asked. 

“That car. It wasn’t there before.” 

Luna and Lexa both glanced to the living car humming in front of the house, headlights bright and piercing the small shed in the corner of the house. Chills ran down Luna’s spine at the sight of it. 

Before any of them could make a move, a tall figure came out of the backyard dragging something. Something heavy. 

The three girls squinted as they glared into the distance, struggling to see what it was the man was dragging. Who were these men? Why were they here? Were they the ones that set the house on fire? 

Finally the realization hit Lexa like a ton of blazing bricks. Blonde hair glinted in the headlights, and once more caught the moon’s reflection as the man dragged her to the backseat of the car. Lexa’s blood boiled, and all of the leftover smoke that had been trapped in her lungs might as well have came out of her ears because she felt the red hot anger in every inch of her body. Red. That was all she saw. 

“Clarke!” She half exclaimed, before Luna harshly cupped a hand over her mouth. The man halted a moment, turning to look into their direction. The girls all shot to the ground, hidden behind the bushes and held their breaths. When they heard a door being opened, they peaked through the withering leaves to find the man stuffing Clarke’s body into the back seat. Lexa whimpered against Luna’s hand and thrashed in anger. Luna held her closer to her body and exhaled shakily. Another man came from the backyard holding a thrashing screaming woman in her arms. She wailed in pain and cursed every expletive in the book at the men that held her. It was Raven. 

Luna’s arms squeezed tighter around Lexa, but Lexa couldn’t find it in herself to care. She was too angry and exhausted and mentally drained. Her adrenaline wouldn’t quit and she’d be surprised if she didn’t pass out soon. 

“Let me go you fuckers!” Raven spat as she kicked with one leg at the other man who stood by the back door of the car he had previously shoved Clarke’s limp body into. The man dodged it and lifted his hand to her thigh. Bad mistake. She bit the hand of the man that held her and he roared in pain. The other man gripped her limp leg and twisted it until Raven’s screams sounded more like a siren. They shoved the brunette into the backseat next to Clarke and slammed the door shut, hearing the automatic click of the locks.

“Fucking bitch bit me,” One of the men spat. 

“What if she’s infected, Jerome?” The other man asked warily. 

“She ain’t,” the man, Jerome, confirmed. “Checked her all over. If ya know what I mean.” 

The sickening tone to the man’s voice made Luna’s skin crawl and Octavia growled from beside her. Lexa was panting against Luna’s palm, trying her hardest not to get them caught. 

“Nice, man,” the other man high-fived Jerome’s uninjured hand. “I call dibs on the blonde, though. She’s fuckin smokin’. Did you see her rack? Got lucky this time round.” 

That was the last straw for Lexa.

Lexa tore herself away from Luna and felt her legs harden as she stood up, ready to run and kill the bastards that took her girl. 

Octavia was the one to pull her down this time. Lexa stared at her incredulously as if asking her with her eyes why she wasn’t about to do the same thing. 

“We have no weapons,” Octavia whispered. “We can’t take them. They’re too strong.” 

“Like hell we can’t!” Lexa surged up. Octavia pulled her down harder, nearly knocking her down onto her ass. 

Octavia locked determined eyes with Lexa’s intense angered ones and nodded her head solemnly. 

“We will get them back. I promise. But we have to be smart about this. If we all get caught, then no one will save us. We have to be strong for them.” 

Lexa was able to see through the veil of her anger right then. Octavia was right. They had to be smart about this if they wanted to get Clarke and Raven back. They had to strategize, to stay hidden. But most importantly, they had to follow. 

“We have a car hidden about half a mile from here in the woods,” Octavia whispered to Luna and Lexa whilst glancing over at the two men getting into the front of the car. 

“It has enough gas. Fresh and full. But we need to stay hidden and far behind them otherwise they’ll figure out they’re being followed.” 

The cousins nodded at each other and looked back at the scene in front of the burning house, still thriving in red hot flames. They had gotten into the car and began to drive away. All that was left was the burning building they all previously relaxed in. They let their guard down and two of their people got kidnapped. They couldn’t sacrifice it once more. 

“Let’s go,” Octavia stood and winced at a bubbling burn on her wrist. “I’ll lead the way.” 

“What if we can’t find them?” Lexa asked in a broken whisper. 

“We will, don’t worry. There aren’t many working cars on the road these days.” 

“And you and Raven gracefully found one?” 

“You can thank her genius brain,” Octavia smiled fondly. “She may be an cocky sarcastic asshole sometimes, but she’s incredibly smart and the most softest girl. And she can bring a dead car back to life faster than you can so onomonopia.”

Luna grunted in agreement behind them as they trudged through the woods in the dark, weaponless, burnt like walking crisps. It was unsettling to say the least, but it was all they could think to do. 

“I don’t understand though,” Lexa voiced after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “Raven and Luna were taking watch in the front of the house and you in the back when Clarke and I went to sleep.” 

Octavia nodded as Lexa continued. 

“How did you and Luna get out? Wouldn’t Raven have gotten out first?” 

Octavia sighed shakily. Everyone was too mighty and stubborn for their own good. 

“She ran into the house to save me, while I was trying to make it up the stairs to warn you and Clarke. I burnt my wrist, tripped and nearly fell through the rough patch of the floor by the basement stairwell. Raven found me and pushed me through the wedge of the front door before trying to get to you and Clarke. But I don’t know what happened after that.” 

“She must’ve gotten stuck,” Lexa thought out loud. “She was yelling for Clarke when we were escaping. That’s why she went back.” 

“Guess everyone wanted to save everyone,” Luna sighed.

“Says the one that just stood there and watched everything burn,” Octavia mumbled.

“I had to make sure you or Lexa didn’t run back into a burning building,” Luna glared at the back of Octavia’s head. “I was going crazy as each minute passed and Raven didn’t come out. You think I didn’t want to risk my own life to get her out of there? Of course I did. I had to be smart. Otherwise we all would have stupidly sacrificed ourselves and none of us would’ve lived.” 

Everyone was silent after that. It was true. They all would’ve blindly killed themselves trying to save one another. Nothing good could’ve came out of this situation. That’s what pained Lexa the most. 

It all happened so fast. Clarke had been cuddled up into her under the blankets, their legs twined sharing a pillow, then bam. The house is on fire and Clarke and Raven are gone. Stolen, taken. It was almost too much for Lexa to think of.

“How did the fire spread too fast?” Lexa blurted. 

The fire had spread pretty quickly. Too quick to be accidental. It was definitely arson. The men who took Clarke and Raven most definitely did it. There was nothing else to it. But what Lexa couldn’t wrap her head around was that there were three people on watch. How were the men sneaky enough to cause such a large fire without getting caught by one of them? 

“It’d be dumb of them to use gasoline when it’s so hard to find,” Octavia murmured. “I’m guessing they used some alcohol. Splashed some onto the opposite side of the house. Something like that. I shouldn’t have been reading. Maybe I could have-”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Lexa cut her off. “You were doing what you were supposed to. They were stealthy.” 

“Raven and I- We were too caught up in each other. We could’ve stopped it,” Luna said, her voice drenched in shame. 

“There’s no use in blaming ourselves,” Lexa sighed. “We need to get them back. That’s our main priority.” 

Octavia stopped in front of them, leaving Lexa to thwack into her back and Luna stumble into hers. 

Octavia turned slightly to face them and raised her index finger to her lips, an indication to be quiet. They looked into the distance where a multitude of scattered infected beings scrambled and limped through the trees snapping their loose jaws and panting sour breath through their chipped teeth. The glow of the fire in the far distance was bright enough to cast soft hues of orange against the staggering bodies and guide the girls away from certain spots. They had to be quiet church mouses scrambling through the bushes and leaves. If they were spotted, they had nothing to fend themselves with except for their own legs. All they’d be able to do is run into the dark hoping to god they made it to the car. That sounded a hell of a lot worse than being quiet. 

Lexa and Luna followed Octavia on their tiptoes through the brush, avoiding any and every infected they got near. When Luna stepped on a twig, everyone froze. Lexa held her breath and stared at the walking dead woman just three feet away. She had a long white shirt on, flecked with blood with a floral ripped skirt hanging from her protruding hips. Part of her jaw was missing and one of her eyes had a long jagged cut through it. Lexa’s stomach churned. 

When the infected woman decided to walk towards the light once more, the three girls simultaneously let out a large breath and continued their trek to the vehicle that would soon bring them to their friends. To Raven. To Lexa’s Clarke. 

They kept walking, crouched and shrouded in the leaves and darkness until Octavia spotted the dark blue cadillac reflecting off of the moon’s small beam. It was parked in an opening of the woods and behind it was a large dirt trail surely leading to a road. Lexa’s heart flew up from her stomach and settled itself back between her lungs. There was hope. She would get Clarke back. They could save them. 

Octavia reached up to the breast pocket on her coat and pulled out a key in shaky fingers. She slif the key into the lock, turned until it clicked and fist bumped the air. She swung open the driver’s door and gestured for Lexa and Luna to get in.

“None of the other doors will unlock. Climb in.”

Luna climbed in and thumped against the cool back seat. Lexa followed close behind and situated herself in the passenger seat. Octavia then plopped into the driver’s seat and closed the door as quietly as she could which didn’t really matter if they were going to make noise by starting the car anyway. 

“Once we get on the road, we’ll find them,” Octavia said with conviction and put the key in the ignition. She turned it and the engine hummed to life. Lexa laughed, relieved that Raven had actually been good with cars. It was a miracle honestly. 

In the distance, some infected were appearing from the bushes and trees, fascinated by the humming car. Some stumbled into view of the headlights and began to make their way to the hood of the Cadillac, pawing at the air like they were desperate to eat. That’s all the wanted. To eat. Feast on their flesh and discard them like trash before going off to find their next meal. Lexa shivered. 

Octavia put the car in reverse and they shot backward in no time. It felt like they were being sucked away from danger by a swooping vacuum. Like time was at a still, giving them a shot. Just one chance to get back what was theirs. To escape their shame and helplessness. 

The car sputtered and they continued shooting backward, Octavia looking behind to make sure she didn’t back straight into a tree. She found a open spot big enough to back into so they could turn around and go straight the rest of the way. She slowly backed the car into it, switched gears, and began to drive the rest of the way down the trail. When they were finally on the road, things were only a little less heavy and their adrenaline had finally started to tamper down enough for them to all breathe easier. Lexa looked out her window and saw a large, thick tornado of black smoke rising from the burnt house off in the distance. Her chest ached at the sight. The morning light was getting brighter each road they turned and the silence wasn’t stifling but enjoyed as they all worried quietly to themselves. 

Lexa didn’t know how she could’ve managed to get this far in a world such as this considering she was barely making it in the normal world before people got infected and began to eat each other. But she did know why, truly. It was because of Clarke. Without that stubborn girl she always longed to be close to since she was a kid, but forced herself not to, she didn’t know where she would be. Probably dead in her house, parts of her brain dripping down the pristine white walls, gun somewhere on the floor just a few inches from her limp body. That’s where she’d be. Nowhere. In darkness. Non-existent. Clarke was the reason she was alive. And there was no way in hell she was going to let the girl she loved down. Not then, not ever. 

They passed a yellow road sign that had words in red spray paint covering it that said, “Beware of the Stone Heads. We are watching.” 

Lexa glared at the sign and could only think one thing; Bring it on. 

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Her head throbbed. It felt as if someone had stuffed two drum kits into her ears and began playing with all their might as if they were at a rock show. Her body ached and breathing hurt more than she could’ve imagined. She mentally scolded herself when she tried to lift her head and was met with a sharp pain near the back of her skull. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to remember what happened. Her memory was still hazy and she could barely regain her vision. She felt as if she was stuck on a merry-go-round but instead of children’s laughing and screaming around her, she heard two men singing along to a staticky old Hank Williams Jr song. Where the hell was she? 

When she felt brave enough to open her eyes, the first thing she saw was Raven and a blur of trees moving fast behind her. It reminded her of what it looked like when she mixed her blue, white and green paints together back at home when she needed to have her art fix. Raven’s face was mucked in black soot and her black hair was wild and partially pulled out of her ponytail. She had the worst glare on her face. Like the one time Clarke forced her to eat wasabi after their junior high dance. But worse. There was pain in her eyes, and her jaw was locked, tense. It was bad. This was bad. Clarke didn’t even realize her legs had been resting in Raven’s lap and Raven’s hands softly massaged Clarke’s calves. Probably trying to root herself to the situation. Trying to remind herself she wasn’t alone. Clarke could understand that. 

Grunting, Clarke lifted herself to her elbows and squinted at Raven. The brunette offered her a forced smiled and squeezed her right calf in reassurance before being startled by one of the hooting men in the front. 

“Blondie’s awake!” The man in the passenger seat howled and cackled. 

“Do you think we should pull over, Brent? You gotta claim your prize. And frankly I ain’t done with mine,” The man behind the wheel waggled his eyebrows at Raven through the rear view mirror. Raven swallowed thickly over the large lump that formed in her throat and squeezed Clarke’s leg tighter. 

“Say, Jerome. I think that’s a dandy idea!” The passenger, Brent said in a sickeningly sweet voice. “I wanted to wait until you were awake, blondie. Like hearing em beg.” 

Clarke’s stomach dropped and she felt her heartbeat quicken as the panic settled over her. She glanced back over to Raven, and the woman looked like she could kill with her stare. Clarke wasn’t going to let this happen. They were strong enough. They could escape. 

When they pulled the car over, Raven met Clarke’s eyes and nodded. They knew they had to do something. They couldn’t just lay there and let these men corrupt them. They wouldn’t. 

The car door Clarke was leaning against was pulled open and she nearly fell head first onto dirty cement. Two large arms caught her and a deep chuckle made some sick come up her throat. She could already smell the bitter sourness of his breath and she knew for sure she was going to wretch. 

The man yanked Clarke up and pushed her against the side of the car, pinning her there as he locked her wrists together over her head with just one of his hands. He used his other to slide his zipper down in a chilling rip that caused Clarke to shudder. The man felt it and smirked. 

“Bet you can’t wait for this meat,” He breathed out and pushed against her. Clarke bit her lip in an effort not to cry. She couldn’t show she was scared. She wouldn’t be made to look like she was weak. 

Raven began to scream on the other side of the car, and that’s when Clarke surged forward and bit at the man’s throat as hard as she could. But before she could tear away any skin as she had hoped, she was punched square in the stomach. Clarke knelt forward as far as she could go with the man still pinning her and her hands held up, and gasped hard at the pain and the loss of breath. 

“Stupid bitch,” the man spat on her face and went to rub at the bleeding bite mark near his pulse. He looked completely and utterly disgusted and Clarke was glad. The prick deserved worse. 

“Jerome!” Brent yelled over Clarke’s head. 

“What?” 

“Put your bitch back in the car. We’re waiting until we get back.” 

“What the fuck man?” Jerome whined from the other side of the car. “I’m about to-” 

“Just do it!,” Brent snapped. “These bitches deserve something a lot more than the side of a road. I have stuff planned.” 

Brent looked back down at the panting Clarke and forced her mouth open. He gurgled the saliva in his mouth and hocked it directly right into Clarke’s. The blonde spat at the ground profusely and began to puke the last contents of her stomach onto the man’s shoes. 

“Fuck! You little whore!” He swore and backed away from Clarke as she heaved over the road, dropping to her knees. 

Jerome shoved Raven back into the car and slammed the door shut, it automatically locked, and he made his way over to the two left outside. 

“What happened?” Jerome scratched the back of his head. 

“Nothing,” Brent shook his head angrily. “Stupid little whore can’t handle how good I am yet, that’s all. She’ll get used to it.” 

When Clarke’s stomach was empty and nothing more would come out, Jerome got back into the driver’s seat and Brent hauled the blonde up by her hair, pulling an entire fistfull of hair out and threw her back into the car before slamming the door shut and making his way to the passenger seat. Clarke cried silently and felt at the spot of her head that began to throb. When she felt the sticky liquid, her heart skipped a beat. He had torn so much of her hair out, some of scalp came off. She was bleeding.

“It’ll be nicer when we get to flaunt them in front of the guys,” Jerome said and drove back onto the road. “We can fuck them right in front of those hungry bastards.” 

“Damn right,” Brent nodded and turned the radio up. 

Raven grabbed Clarke’s hand and spoke with her eyes, assuring her they would get out of this. After years of being best friends, they could communicate without even speaking. It was almost as easy as Clarke and Lexa’s connection. But it wasn’t. Nothing could ever top what Clarke and Lexa had. 

Lexa. Clarke’s lip trembled as she thought of intense green eyes and unruly brown curly hair, and long legs and strength and love. Her heart was shattering. She didn’t feel whole without Lexa. She’s never truly been without her. Having lived next door to her since they were just young kids, even if it was strained at the time, meant they were always close. Even in school, they shared a lot of the same classes and Clarke never would’ve admitted it before, but knowing Lexa was always close to her seemed to give her some sort of comfort. She never understood why, especially when they were supposed to hate each other. But she knows now. Lexa’s her soulmate. Lexa’s always been there. And she just knew somewhere in her heart that she would find her way back to her. She remembered her father’s words; “Just lift your wrist and be at time’s kiss.” Clarke lifted her free hand up and looked down at her bare wrist. The place her watch used to be. She didn’t need it to tell her that it might take time. She knew. She knew she and Raven would struggle until they got out. But she also knew Lexa would be looking for her. Lexa would search every end of this earth until she found Clarke. And Luna and Octavia would too. They’d be okay. Clarke knew it like she knew day fades into night. She knew it like she knew the feel of Lexa’s lips on her own. They would get out of this alive. 

 

////////////////////////////////////

They drove miles upon miles and still found no single trace of the car that took Clarke and Raven. It was beginning to dawn on them that this was going to be harder than they originally thought. They switched places when the driver at the moment got tired and one would sleep in the backseat while the one in the passenger seat would be on lookout. 

Luna sat behind the wheel tapping her thumbs against the leather and biting her lip. Lexa sat beside her and Octavia laid sprawled out on the backseat dozing lightly. It was well into the day and the sun swam blissfully in the blue of the sky. Lexa worried her lip between her teeth as she thought about what those two men could be doing to Clarke and Raven. Wondering where they were taking them. Hoping they wouldn’t be too late. 

“It sucks that this thing doesn’t have a radio,” Luna stated and stopped her thumbs from tapping against the leather wheel. 

Lexa nodded in agreement even though she could care less whether the radio was on or not. 

“We should find a CD or something after we get the girls back.”

“Mhm,” Lexa nodded and stared out the window at the crumbling farmhouses and the open fields, some empty, some with flowers, some with infected. 

“Raven had every right to torture me,” Luna muttered.

Lexa turned her head to stare at the side of Luna’s face, incredulous. 

“She didn’t have any right to do that. You didn’t even-” 

“I took her mother’s necklace,” Luna blurted, and gripped the wheel until her knuckles turned white. 

Lexa scoffed at her cousin and grimaced at the declaration. She stole Raven’s mother’s necklace before she left? It had to have been important. 

“Why?” Lexa finally asked once the silence in the car grew thick. 

“I guess I wanted her to have a reason to come find me again someday,” Luna shrugged. “I know it’s fucked up. But I couldn’t stand seeing the way she acted around Octavia. They were so comfortable and flirty and touchy-feely. It made my skin crawl.” 

“So you left and took something important to Raven so she would come after you?” Lexa huffed. Of course her cousin would be petty enough to do such a thing. 

“It sounds worse when you put it that way.” 

“It’ll sound bad any way you put it. That was wrong of you.” 

Luna nodded. “I know. It was important to her. Her mother died when they had to escape her house. I knew she’d come get it.” 

“I was there,” Lexa sighed. “Clarke and I stayed there with her and Octavia before we had to split up. Clarke and I ended up together. It’s awful though. We figured out Raven’s mom didn’t make it when we went back to check the house once it was safe. I can’t believe you did that, Luna.” 

The shame was etched into the soft lines of Luna’s face, and Lexa couldn’t find it in her to feel too bad for her cousin. Of course, she probably didn’t deserve such a beating from the feisty girl. But she shouldn’t have taken the one last thing Raven might have held dear to her. That would be the same as Lexa taking Clarke’s watch if it hadn’t been washed away in a river. Lexa’s heart sank at the memory. 

“I feel bad, obviously. I felt bad once I was gone.” 

“Did you give it back?”

“Not yet.” 

“Not yet? Why?” Lexa implored. 

“We kissed. We were getting places. I didn’t want to ruin it right away. I would’ve given it back eventually.” 

“Now you might never be able to,” Octavia yawned and stretched in the back of the car. Both Luna and Lexa jumped at the sudden extra voice, not knowing she had long since woken up. 

“Don’t say that, O,” Lexa snarled. “We’ll see them again. We’re going to make sure they’re safe.” 

Octavia nodded and rested her chin against the shoulder of Lexa’s seat. The car rumbled on as they continued down the road. The engine sputtered and coughed when Luna pushed the pedal down harder to excel speed. 

“Raven and I have never been like that by the way,” Octavia spoke into the silence. 

Luna gripped the wheel once more. 

“Could’ve convinced me otherwise.” 

“Raven and I have been best friends since we were little. We’ve always been close. She’s like a sister to me. I have a boyfriend named Lincoln that we’ve been trying to hunt down. I know he’s still out there,” Octavia lamented. Her voice was gravely as she spoke of the man she loved. As if she was slowly giving up hope. 

“Why didn’t you say that when it was just the three of us?” Luna asked and met Octavia’s eyes in the rearview mirror. 

“I didn’t think I had to,” Octavia shrugged. “It hurt too bad to really talk about him anyway.” 

The car was silent again save for the hum of the motor and the occasional potholes they drove over. Clarity hit them all after that conversation. Misunderstandings cause havoc and wrecks. They always have. Being true only ever goes wrong if it’s intended to. Luna may have acted upon her jealousy and did a bad thing, but she wasn’t a terrible person. Raven may have let her anger get the best of her when she saw Luna again, but that didn’t make her evil. Lexa may have pretended to hate Clarke because she couldn’t handle getting close to another person and losing them, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love Clarke and long for her for years. And Clarke might have acted unfairly to her new stepfather in some instances before the apocalypse, that didn’t mean she didn’t want her mother to be happy. They were all just hurt and sometimes pain makes people do things they wouldn’t normally do. It’s a controlling emotion. But it doesn’t take over forever. It dissipates. Lexa knows this. She’d endured too much of it just as anyone else has.

“We’ll find him,” Lexa mumbled. “We’ll find Clarke and Raven and then we’ll find Lincoln and we will survive.” 

“What happened to going to California?” Octavia asked sleepily.

“We stick together,” Lexa breathed out. “You won’t be whole again if you don’t know whether he’s alive or not. I wouldn’t go without Clarke. I’m not going to make you go without Lincoln. We stick together, we thrive together.” 

For once in months, Octavia smiled and actual genuine smile and rested her cheek against Lexa’s shoulder. 

“Thank you,” She whispered. 

“Of course.” 

Luna cleared her throat and pulled over to the side of the road. 

“I gotta piss. Then it’s your turn, Lex.” Luna announced and opened the door before jogging over to the bushes. 

Lexa sighed and climbed over to the driver’s side before climbing out, planting her feet to the ground. She stretched her legs and watched, amused, as Octavia nearly somersaulted into the passenger seat and thwacked her head against the window. 

Lexa smirked at the girl and stretched her arms over her head before staring down at her sneakers. Blood flecked and tattered but still hanging on. Good. She didn’t think she could find another pair of shoes anytime soon. She couldn’t afford to when Clarke and Raven were stuck with two perverts. 

But then a glint of blonde by the front tire of the car caught her eye. She leant down and picked up a chunk of blonde hair from the road and felt her stomach clench in an effort not to throw up. Fresh blood hung from the roots and Lexa knew it was Clarke’s. As if she needed more evidence, she found a black button just a few inches away. The same buttons that were on Clarke’s red flannel she had been wearing the last time she saw her before she ran off into red heat. This was a lead. They were going to find Clarke and Raven. And they were going to cause hell.

“What’s that?” Luna asked as she walked up to Lexa, hiking her jeans up. 

“Clarke’s hair,” Lexa trembled. She squeezed the hair in a balled up fist and stared Luna in the eyes. “We’re going to kill each and every single one of them.” 

Luna nodded. She definitely agreed. 

“Looks like we’ll need to find some weapons. Fast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand I busted that out all day. It's a hefty chapter indeed. Probably the largest chapter I've written for Fanfiction ever and I'm proud of it. I hope y'all enjoyed this one and don't you worry, our girls are soulmates. Soulmates can never stray too far from each other for too long. Comments and Kudos make my heart sigh with love and make me happier. I love writing this and I can safely say I've broken through my brain brick! SO expect many more updates very soon. Thank you for sticking with me.


	11. For The Enemy

Trash was strewn all over the concrete ground and fires were roaring from old metal trash bins. Men huddled over the fire barrels as their breath came out in white puffs. Since when did it get so cold? Night had fallen sneakily and Clarke was ready to dart away into the woods before ever letting this man touch her. But she looked at Raven, her wrists sore from being bound by rope and her eyes swollen and puffy, and felt her heart drop. She wasn’t leaving without her. They were fenced in anyway. There wasn’t a place she could run without bumping into a foul smelling boulder of a chest. She still had faith in Lexa. Lexa, Luna and Octavia would find them. 

There wasn’t one single other woman in view. Just men. Their hungry eyes roamed over their bodies as if looking at fresh meat. And truly, in that moment that’s what they were. Clarke reached a shaky hand up to the pendant around her neck and clutched it in her sweaty palm. The metal heated in her hand and calmed her nerves only the slightest bit. Lexa had taken the necklace off of one of the infected and had given it to her clean as a whistle. Her father’s wedding ring that had been resting over her heart slipped over her finger and reminded her just how much she missed him. She thought of her mother and hoped she was okay. She hoped that she survived. She rubbed her thumb over the gold chain and stared straight ahead as the man’s grip on her shoulders tightened. He kicked at her feet and told her to move faster. That she had to be prepped up for the show. She could smell her dried vomit still stuck to his shoes and she knew it wouldn’t be long before she potentially threw up again. 

They entered a large abandoned building that once could have been an old car factory without much equipment. Like the owners packed everything up and relocated, leaving a hollow ghost of a building behind. Graffiti littered the walls and random puddles leaked around the ground smelling strongly of urine. The place was dark and creepy even when Jerome and Brent lit some torches eliminating only a sliver of the room they entered. 

The men threw them to the ground and glared down at them. Their faces lapped at by black shadows only made them look worse.

“We have to take care of some things,” Jerome said and rubbed his hands together. 

“We’ll be back soon. Don’t even try to escape. Our men are guarding the building inside and out. You’ll be worse off trying,” Brent added. 

The two men walked through the entrance without even so much as a glance back. It was nice to know they were so confident that their captives wouldn’t escape. They really shouldn’t have been so comfortable within their own plans. 

Clarke chanced a glance at Raven and frowned at what she saw. Her best friend was tired. She glared at the stone wall ahead of them, anger apparent in her eyes. If Clarke hadn’t known her since they were just small tots, she would’ve thought Raven had given up. But you see, Raven Reyes never gave up. Not at lousy games of yahtzee at her, Clarke and Octavia’s slumber parties, not at fixing up a shitty car some boy dropped off at her house to resurrect, and definitely not on this. Not with her heart still beating, pumping resilient blood in her veins. Clarke knew they stood a chance merely just because she couldn’t accept this as her fate. She wouldn’t. And Raven was right with her.

“I think I saw an opening in one of the fences when they were walking us here,” Raven said and bit at her lip to keep it from trembling. “But otherwise, everything is closed off.” 

“We can’t get past any of those men unnoticed. It’s right by the fire barrels,” Clarke sighed, wishing more than anything in that moment she could have a nice warm shot of whisky. Her nerves were too dry. 

“We’ll have to create a distraction. I’m good at that. But I need something to work with.” 

Clarke looked around at the bare lot they sat in and grimaced at the low whistle of wind that stroked her arms, raising goosebumps. Her lungs still felt heavy and her head throbbed from the fire, but adrenaline would overtake it soon. She counted on that. 

The scraggly broken denim on a man’s shoulder peaked through the entrance as he stood watch and chatted with another weathered looking man. Their stubble was no longer stubble, but actual strands of facial hair and it seemed to have some sort of liquid or ashes stuck in them. Clarke cringed. But along with the disgust came a lightbulb bright and shining above her head. It wasn’t the best of plans, but it was all they had. 

Clarke leaned closer to her best friend, looking into her dark chocolate eyes, and felt some spark of hope. 

“We need to call those men in and make it seem like we want them,” Clarke whispered. Raven grimaced at her suggestion right after the words left her mouth. “We need to 

“Clarke, we’re tied up. They could rape us just as easily as that house burnt down. We shouldn’t take those chances.” 

“It’s either we deal with what we’ve got or we wait for those assholes come back and take advantage of us in front of their entire group. We have to choose our cards right, Raven,” Clarke practically pleaded. She knew it was a dangerous idea. She knew they could potentially end up scarred forever. But they couldn’t just sit there. They had to do something. Anything. 

Raven stared into the raging storm of Clarke’s blue eyes and knew she was right. They had no other choice. 

“If they have alcohol, we need to get it somehow. They started a fire in our home, I think it’s about time they see what fire we can bring.” 

Clarke nodded. That was a good idea. Easier way to cause commotion which meant an easier and quicker way of escaping. 

“Here goes nothing,” Raven sighed. 

“I love you, Rae.” 

“I love you too, Clarke.” 

They would get out of this. Maybe not completely unscathed, but Clarke didn’t expect them to in the first place. But they weren’t going down this way. They would get out. Lexa, Octavia and Luna would find them soon and they’ll survive. Her stubborn streak wouldn’t allow anything else. 

“Hey boys,” Raven barked at the two men, stopping them from laughing about something too dumb to funny in the first place. 

The men stopped and turned around to glare at the two tied up women. But then, upon seeing Raven’s brow lift, their faces contorted into ugly understanding and they nodded to each other. 

“These ropes are a little tight,” Raven said in the most sultry voice she could muster for the putrid situation. “I’m sure you two are pretty tense. If you untie us, we can fix that for you.” 

The two scruffy men stood in front of the girls now, looking down at them with hunger in their eyes that had long since gone past food. Clarke dug her nails into her wrists to keep herself from shaking. She could do this. She had to. 

“Nice try, little ladies,” The one with oily hair down to his shoulders laughed, “Captain says to keep ya nice and warm and resistant.” 

“But what’s the fun in that?” Clarke asked sweet enough to break a tooth. “Why do they get to push you around? It’s the end of the world.” 

The two men’s smirks wiped clean off their faces as they began to consider Clarke’s words. Then they shook their heads, almost feeling ashamed for even considering. 

“We didn’t catch you,” the one with shorter, cleaner hair stated. “You aren’t our prize. You’re theirs.” 

“Like my friend here just pointed out,” Raven began. “It’s the end of the world. You two seem like you haven’t gotten laid in years. And if you keep it between us, I think you two are way hotter than those scumbags.” 

The ego boost seemed to completely sway the men as their smirks grew back and they nodded at each other. 

“Might as well,” Long Hair shrugged. 

“Could just get them prepared and ready,” Short Hair agreed. 

When the men leaned down, rested on their knees and began to cut away the tight, dry rope, Raven glanced to Clarke with a flash of adrenaline held in her gaze. Clarke did a small nod and felt her own energy spike. It was time. 

Their teeth sunk into grimy skin and blood spurted in intervals over their clothes. The screams were gurgled and loud, surely enough to notify any other guardsmen. The two of them knelt down beside the spazzing bodies, and patted them down until they found what they were looking for. A large metal flask with a green sick face sticker on it. Clarke handed it to Raven as quick as she could and they bolted to the door. They ran and ran and ran until large groups of men were running to their direction, forcing them to crawl through the shadows. 

A sign just across from where they hid behind a large green dumpster caught their eyes. 

“STONEHEADS WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD” 

Clarke shook her head. They really were too full of themselves weren’t they?

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Luna asked from their heavy shield of darkness and trees. 

They had found things that weren’t particular weapons in a sense, but they would get the job done. And just across the road sat a fenced in old building that looked like a large factory of sorts. “Stoneheads” was painted in red across the makeshift gates as a man stood guard. Lexa knew that Clarke and Raven had to be in there. It was a gut feeling. Almost felt like a fact residing in her body. She just hoped to god her senses wouldn't betray her. 

“It’ll work,” Lexa nodded as Octavia assembled the molotov cocktail. 

Gustus had taught Lexa how to make one long ago and made sure she knew to only use it in case the world ever did end and she needed to somehow protect herself, but for nothing else. She was smart enough to know how dangerous they were and that she would only ever use one in a special case such as the one she was in now. She silently thanked him and hoped that wherever he was, he was safe. 

“He taught you this didn’t he?’ Luna asked. 

Lexa avoided eye contact and nodded. Luna more than anyone should’ve known that. 

“We have four ready,” Octavia whispered. “I think that should be enough. We need to be precise because my lighter fluid is nearly to its end.” 

“Understood,” Lexa affirmed. “It’s time. If anything goes wrong, we’ll throw one before you’re hurt. We can do this.” 

“I’ve never had so much fire in one short time span,” Luna shook her head. 

“We want a bigger fire. Might as well fight their fire with ours,” Lexa sighed. 

“I’m ready,” Octavia stood. “Cover me.” 

“With our fire cocktails and our pipe,” Luna nodded. 

Lexa grasped Octavia’s wrist, and Octavia reciprocated with a twitch of her lips. No matter how things went, Lexa wanted to know she respected her. That she was glad to be stuck with her in the shit end of the stick. But she also wanted her to know that they would succeed, and that she had her back. All was conveyed through green eyes going into a lighter shade of green. Then Octavia was walking through the bushes and over to the one man on guard in front of the gates. 

The man seemed as if he could fall asleep any time, but as soon as he saw the approaching figure, he jolted up straight and pointed his gun in Octavia’s direction. Octavia lifted her hands up in surrender but didn’t stop walking towards him. 

“I just came to have a chat,” Octavia said in a calm voice although her insides were shivering. 

The man was silent as he kept his aim at the girl. 

“You can search me if you’d like. I don’t have any weapons.” 

From the steely look in the man’s eyes, Octavia could see he wanted nothing more than to put his hands on her body. But he was restricted. Devoted and dedicated to his place as watchman. He didn’t trust her. And good of him for not doing so easily. 

Lexa and Luna watched from the cover of the forest in silence, bottles in hand and lighter gripped in Lexa’s sweaty palm. Hell was going to break loose. And she wasn’t going to see her friend get shot before her very eyes. 

“I’m just trying to find a place to belong,” Octavia drawled on. “I want to be owned. There’s nothing else left to do in this shitty world. Being branded is safe. I want to be safe. Wouldn’t you?” 

The man lifted his brow as if he didn’t believe her. 

Octavia dropped her arms by her side and sighed. The man pointed his gun more sternly at her but she only laughed at him. 

“Go ahead. Shoot me,” She chuckled. “This world isn’t worth living in when you don’t have anyone. No family, no friends. Nothing. I have nothing to lose.” 

The man lowered his gun slightly. Lexa was impressed with Octavia’s acting, it stunned Luna to silence, not even being able to make a wisecrack. 

“You came out of nowhere,” the man said hesitantly. 

“There’s nowhere to come from,” Octavia shrugged. “I just want to belong. I want a reason.” 

The man lowered his gun all of the way then as he stared at the brunette in understanding. It almost made Octavia feel bad. He didn’t seem to be as dangerous as the other two men were. 

“I wanted that too. But you don’t want this life,” The man glanced behind himself as if the gates were see through, then looked back to Octavia with a pleading look in his eyes. “Please just go. Go somewhere else. It isn’t safe here.” 

His words shocked all three girls and made them feel a weight too heavy to bare in the moment. Their plan was to seduce him into weakness, and then for Octavia to take his gun and shoot him dead. But, the sincerity in his eyes wasn’t fake. God, what the fuck were they supposed to do? They weren’t expecting that. 

“Then why are you here?” Octavia questioned and took a step closer to him. He didn’t flinch. 

“If you get in, you can’t escape. Once you’re a member, you’re always a member. A couple of men didn’t like what the group did. Were disgusted and decided to leave. They hunted them down and mutilated them all right in front of us. Stripped their skin from their muscles and bones. These men are monsters. Please. Please just do yourself a favor and go.” 

Lexa felt her legs working without her mind’s consent and found herself beside Octavia before she could even think straight. The man raised his gun once again at her reveal and then pointed it between Lexa and Luna once Luna had decided to join them. 

“H-how many of you are there?” He asked with a tremble. 

“Just the three of us for now,” Lexa said with that authoritative tone she possessed long ago when she was entering a negotiation. 

“How can I trust you?” He asked sheepishly. It was evident now to the girls that he really didn’t belong there. 

“We want our friends back,” Luna finally said after her longest bout of silence. “Your men sat our house on fire and took them from us.” 

Realization flashed through the man’s eyes as he listened. He shook his head in defeat. He knew who they were talking about. 

“You don’t stand a chance against them. There’s too many of them.” 

Lexa could tell he was truly conflicted and her heart pained for him. But she was going to try either way. And he wouldn’t be able to stop her. 

“What’s your name?” Octavia asked.

The man looked up with large apologetic eyes equivalent to the broken puppy dog look. It was disconcerting. 

“Miller,” he whispered. 

“Miller, we are going to try to overtake these men with or without your approval. You can try to stop us, but our people are in there. And we will fight or die trying to get them out. Understood?” 

Miller stared at Lexa with conviction. He didn’t seem to be too conflicted in the long run, because in the end, he handed Lexa his gun. 

“You’ll need this,” he nodded. “I wish you luck.” 

“And what about you? Where are you going?” Luna asked as the man began walking down the road, further and further into the darkness. 

“Nowhere,” he shouted over his shoulder. “If you succeed, I’ll live nowhere. And if you don’t then I’ll die nowhere. I can’t escape either one. I wish you the best of luck.” 

And then he was gone and Lexa stood with a heavy gun in her hand as Luna gripped the molotov cocktails in her hands. The three women stared wide eyed at each other then back into the darkness where the man disappeared into nowhere. To somewhere besides here. 

“Okay I know this is apparent, but that seemed way too easy to be true,” Luna quipped and shook her head in disbelief. 

“Then we roll with it,” was Lexa’s reply before another extraordinary thing happened. Somewhere behind the gates was a loud explosion, clouds of red flames roared into the air from a distance, casting a warm glow on the three girls as they stared, dumbfounded. There were men’s screams and gunshots and sparks cracking. 

“What the fuck?” Luna gasped. 

 

“Get ready,” Lexa ordered and raised her gun. “We’re going in.” 

 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“Run!” Clarke shouted over the screams. There were men running around in flames, trying their hardest to pat out a fire too big to be put out with anything other than water. There were gunshots being fired as they ran and Clarke really couldn’t believe just how good Raven was at making things go ‘boom.’ 

“Get them! Get them you dumb fucks!” one of their captors, Brent had yelled as he pumped his legs, chasing after Clarke.

It was like those bad dreams Clarke had when she was a child. Trapped in a giant hallway, being chased by Apple Smile the clown that her mother had hired for her sixth birthday. It was like that, but much worse. Worse because Brent had foaming spit running down his chin, and his eyes were cloudy as if he had injected some sort of drug. He was wild like a ferocious tiger and Clarke was the gizelle trying to desperately run to safety. Clarke was only a few paces ahead of her, But she still couldn’t feel anymore alone. 

The men around them were shooting at each other instead of their original target and Raven laughed, yes, she actually laughed at their stupidity as if her own life wasn’t on the line in that very moment. Clarke copied her though. Feeling as if it was some magic drug of her own that fueled her. Laughter. Laughing at their dumb, pathetic lives as they ended. Laughing at the man so desperate for sex, he would rape and rape and rape. A man of no man at all. But Clarke looked back and barked laughs over her shoulder because she knew that he would never be able to touch her or Raven. None of them would. Because they were so close. So damn close. 

The opening in the fence was on fire from one of their bombs, but it was larger. It would be easier to get through. She was sure after being around so much fire, her lungs would never be the same but at least she was still breathing. She was still breathing and running and laughing like a maniac. 

The sound of something collapsing in on itself echoed through the lot, but Clarke could no longer look back. She kept her eyes forward as she and Raven jogged closer and closer to their escape. Burning lungs, overworked heart and smoking brain, Clarke kept going until her arm was grazing against fire’s fingertips, scorching her pale skin but otherwise leaving her be as she ran through the hole and chased after Raven. But then the world was spinning, as if she were trapped in a kaleidoscope, and she was on the ground. The cold grass eased her heated skin and the dark sky flecked with stars was a sight for sore, dry eyes. But then a hand was gripping her ankle, dragging her. She was so tired. So exhausted. But her body wasn’t prepared to give up. Not with one final kick. 

Her boot hit a face, and the cracking of a nose was louder than the gunshots firing away in the background. Brent cupped his gushing, bent nose and shrieked in pain. Clarke wanted to end him. She wanted to slit his throat open and watch him bleed. She wanted him to suffer like all of the women before them must have. She was so angry and tired. 

Raven was bent down beside her in a matter of seconds, grass cradling her palms. But she wasn’t being pulled up. The both of them were too busy dropping their jaws as they stared ahead in disbelief. Brent was being turned around by two strong arms and was dropped on his back. He gasped and coughed up at the two women standing before him.

Lexa and Luna stood above him, anger set on their faces. The gunshots had seized behind them and there was quiet except for their harsh breathing, the fire crackling, the man’s whimpers and something being dragged on the ground. 

Octavia suddenly appeared next to Lexa as she dropped a larger man, Clarke and Raven recognized as Jerome, beside Brent as he wailed and and cried. 

“You bitches! You stupid fucking bitches! You’ll pay!” Jerome yelled through his pained sobbing. He waved his hand at them, but as Clarke and Raven looked on, they noticed he was missing a hand. All there was left was a bloody stump. Octavia grinned down at him. 

“How? All of your men are dead,” Octavia chuckled and dropped a stiff hand onto the man’s face. 

It was all so brutal. So sickening. Clarke imagined what all of them would be doing if the world had continued to go on as it was that morning. They’d all be graduated, probably sharing an apartment on the east side of their hometown. But Lexa wouldn’t be there. Looking up at the strong brunette with revenge burning in her veins, Clarke convinced herself that they would’ve somehow been together regardless. If things were normal, they’d be together. Happy. No blood, guts, death. But this was how it is. And Clarke was strangely grateful for it. 

The men didn’t reply, they only whimpered and writhed in pain in the spotlight of the fire that encased the opening of the fence. It was a pretty show. 

Lexa lifted the gun and aimed it at Brent. Her face was stone cold. Completely absent of any trace of guilt. 

“You stole something from me,” She said in a frigid voice. “You hurt someone important to me. That’s my girlfriend. You hurt her. You wrote your own death sentence.” 

The man scoffed as the blood seeped through his fingers around his nose. 

“Fucking queers,” he snarled. 

He didn’t have enough time to say anything else because then a shot was going off and he was shrieking and crying and begging. Begging as if he could possibly have a chance. 

The bullet went through his right kneecap. Then another shot rang out and the left kneecap was shot. 

“Just kill us already!” Jerome yelled and cradled his lost hand against his chest as if it were a baby. 

Lexa laughed. “You’re going to suffer.” 

“Uh, Lex?” Luna said beside her and pointed to the trees across the road where the dead began limping and tripping, attracted to the fire light like they were moths to a flame. 

“Fuck,” Lexa sighed. “We have to go.” 

The men looked almost relieved as if they were spared their lives. But then they had twin bullet holes between their eyes, blood trickling down their noses as their skulls broke apart from the blows. Their faces were stuck stunned and would look like that until the infected feasted on them and the maggots and animals ate the leftovers. That was a settling thought. 

The three girls stepped over to Raven and Clarke whom sat shocked in the grass, watching the entire scene. Lexa softly yanked Clarke up and into her arms. Both girls smelled like fire smoke and blood. But there were small hints of their original smells underneath it all and it made them both sigh in relief. 

“Lexa…” Clarke whimpered and clutched her girlfriend tighter. 

“I know, baby. I know. We gotta go though. We have a car.” 

Clarke’s mind was growing hazier and hazier as each second ticked on, but she nodded and forced herself to run. Run with her lover to their final escape. Raven was enveloped in Octavia’s embrace when they began to jog. 

“We need to go now!” Lexa said and ushered the other women towards the opposite side of the lot and the clearest part of the forest. 

“You need to hold onto me okay? Don’t let go,” Lexa told Clarke as they ran. Clarke managed a small nod and clutched Lexa’s shirt in her shaking hands as all of them ran into the darkness of the woods. Infected walked past them and to them from every direction. It was enough to make Clarke dizzy but she kept going. She pumped her legs and kept her solid grip on Lexa as she watched her shoot at the infected. Clarke had to struggle to not fall over the limp bodies, but all in all she was alright. As long as she had Lexa, she was alright. 

The car was parked on the other end of the woods and it felt like they had been running for hours. Miles upon miles of trees and roots and walking dead. Clarke was sure she never ran more in her life. She had never been an athletic person, always finding herself in the art room while she was supposed to be in pe. But this was a record. She’d be proud of herself if she wasn’t fighting passing out. 

They emerged through the trees and stumbled into the road in a heap. Clarke’s legs felt like hot, stinging jelly from the different grounding and her throat was dry. She needed water. She knew she needed it. She also needed to lay down. She needed a lot of things. She needed Lexa. 

Clarke didn’t even realize they reached the car until she was gingerly being slid into it by Luna and Octavia. She was laying on top of Lexa and Raven’s thighs when the car began to move, and the moon chased the car from its spot in the sky. She could vaguely remember the feel of Lexa’s fingers running through her hair, massaging her scalp, avoiding the chunk that was ripped out. She could remember the sound of the engine sputtering, and Lexa whispering to her that she was going to be okay. Why was she so weak yet Raven was fine? Why was she going in and out of consciousness when Raven rubbed her legs and told their friends what happened to them? What was wrong with her?

She couldn’t answer her own questions. She wasn’t quick enough. She felt the darkness gripping at her, and soon she couldn’t hear anything at all except for Lexa’s stomach making noises against her ear. And then that was gone too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally chapter 11 is here! I enjoyed writing this chapter, but I can't wait to write the next one. It'll be good to finally write something calm for these girls. I hope you're happy with how it turned out! Kudos and comments set my heart on fire in the warmest way and I love it! Tell me what ya thought :)


	12. Intertwined Under a Green Flustered Moon

Clarke Griffin didn’t believe in heaven. She didn’t believe in god. Growing up as a child, her small family wasn’t ever really religious. They didn’t pray before dinner every night or go to church on Sundays. And that’s why when she was a kid, she was taught to love who you love and she wouldn’t let anyone tell her different. That didn’t mean religious people didn’t teach the same thing. But she grew up in a freedom within life. Jake Griffin was the most understanding man Clarke had ever known in her entire life. And the most wisest. And Clarke was beyond thankful for that. Especially when she was thirteen, sitting perched on her window seat watching as the rain trickled down the glass. But she hadn’t truly been paying attention to the rain, but rather focusing on her. The slim girl in a ratty dark green hoodie, long curly brown hair with tiny drops of water clinging to the strands, and wet bare feet. She was taking out the trash longer than she normally had and Clarke had guessed that the man she lived with was either drunk again, or gone. Sometimes he left his car but wondered off into the night and didn’t come back for days. But he didn’t seem like a bad man. Still, Clarke knew that maybe he could’ve been better. He could’ve been better for her. For the girl she claimed to hate. 

Jake was on his way down the hallway from his study when he spotted Clarke chewing on her thumbnail, staring hard out the window into the front lawn of their neighbor’s house. He felt the knowing smirk slip onto his face before he could help it. His little girl was a soft hearted human. A human with longing and wisdom. She was an artist. Artists fed their talents with pain and sadness. And he knew that was why she was drawing so much lately. She was hurting. And he knew exactly the reason why. 

Clarke jolted out of her trance when she felt her father’s large warm hand fall softly on her shoulder. She looked at him with a forced smile, then glanced back out the window where Lexa stood in the rain, clipping the spiky thorns on the hedges that separated their front lawns. She wouldn’t go out there and accompany her. No, she knew better than that by now. Lexa hated her, and she hated Lexa. That’s how it always had been. Except, Clarke was lying to herself. She didn’t hate Lexa Woods. The girl intrigued her. She was quiet and intelligent (the highest GPA in their grade) and she was so very pretty. Yes, she was gorgeous and Clarke wasn’t dumb enough to not see that. She was, on the other hand, petty enough to deny it whenever Raven or Octavia caught her staring at the quiet girl in the back of their science class. She was getting tired of hiding it. She wanted to know Lexa. Really know her. And she knew she felt something for her. Something big that she always tried to swallow back down whenever she saw her. But it was eating her alive. 

“You always liked the rain,” Jake said in his soft deep voice. “You used to make us let you go outside and play in it. You were so cute in your little rubber boots and coat.” 

The warm chuckle that came from her father’s chest right then made Clarke feel warm and instantly a little less pained. Her father was the one that could always pull her up when she needed to get out of the dirt. But even then in that moment, she could still feel the hurt deep in the roots in her chest. It was really dragging her down. It wasn’t even Lexa’s fault Clarke was feeling this way. But Clarke so badly wanted to be able to blame it all on her. 

“The rain always brought her outside,” Clarke sighed. 

Jake knew his daughter was talking about Lexa. He saw the way she had looked at her since she was extremely little. First with excitement and awe, then with anger and longing. He knew how badly she wished to fix everyone. But this time it wasn’t about fixing. It was about wonder and want. Clarke had went to Jake a month before and told him she liked both boys and girls. He was delighted she told him, made her a cup of tea and let her stay up late on a Tuesday night with him to watch Casablanca and to talk about her crushes, or the girls she thought were pretty at school, and the boys who had nice hair. But she mostly talked about Lexa. Her voice giving away distaste but hiding the true feelings she wished she could let out. He was patient for her. He knew she would accept her feelings one day. 

“Is that what you’re so caught up in right now?” Jake asked and looked outside spotting the thin girl snap the hedge scissors. 

Clarke nodded then sighed heavily, squeezing her eyes shut. 

“I think I love her, Dad.” 

Jake smiled down at his stressed little girl and sat in front of her on the window bench. 

“You always went on and on about how you hated her.” 

Clarke looked down guiltily at her hands clasped together in her lap. Of course she had spoken about how annoying and quiet and nerve wracking Lexa was. But that was only to hide everything she truly felt. Because she knew Lexa hated her. Why not pretend to hate her right back? That was the safest option, Clarke felt. 

“You know I never hated her.” 

Jake nodded. “Yes, I know.” 

“God, it’s like I don’t even know her at all,” Clarke sighed frustratedly. “But it’s also like I know her so well. I know she loves the rain. I know she has this birthmark on her left shoulder blade, and I know she loves history. I know that man she lives with isn’t her dad. I know so much but I nearly know nothing at all. And I still love her.” 

“Well why don’t you try talking to her again?” Jake asked with a knowing smile on his face. 

“It’s too late for that now,” Clarke shook her head. “We’re older now. Our friend groups are already made. Well, she doesn’t really have any friends. She hangs out with that Costia girl sometimes. Why can’t it be me, Dad? She makes my head spin. It makes me mad.” 

This time Jake let himself chuckle. His daughter had so much ahead of her. She was so young. But he knew she was sure of this by the way she huffed and wracked her mind for solutions. She always did that when she was serious about things. 

“Honey, it’s never too late. I think you two will speak on day. And I think it’ll create just the thing you both needed. You never know. Take the chance one day, kid. You might be surprised what comes of it. Remember, time’s kiss.” 

The man tapped the glass of her watch and smiled at her. She smiled back at him and nodded. Maybe he was right. He always seemed to be. 

Jake stood up and leant down to place a kiss to his daughter’s head before walking back to his study, leaving Clarke to stew in her thoughts some more. She turned back to the window and noticed the rain had stopped and Lexa was gone. 

Jake was diagnosed with cancer a month after that. Then he passed away three months more. Clarke didn’t talk to Lexa. Clarke didn’t talk to anyone for a year. 

Lexa hadn't seen Clarke come outside anymore, and she wasn’t in school for about a month. Everyone heard about Jake Griffin’s death, even Lexa. Still, she hadn’t known the cause. She felt her heart break for her next door neighbor. The one that probably would’ve pushed her away if she tried going to her. So, she went to the beautiful field just behind the town and picked flowers for her. She left them on the Griffin’s front porch with a note that only said “Clarke.” It didn’t matter that Clarke didn’t know they were from her. She could think they were from that pretty boy at school and that would be that. 

Clarke had seen the flowers when her mother told her to get the mail, and once she read the handwriting, she knew it was from Lexa. she kept them on her desk for years. Even after they wilted beyond recognition. 

The years went on, seasons changed, and so did Clarke. She began to live again even if it were a bit recklessly. She went to house parties with Octavia and Raven and drank until she passed out. She would wake up in her bed the next morning every time, asking Octavia and Raven if they drove her home, only getting the same response as usual, they were too drunk and wouldn’t get behind the wheel while intoxicated. She asked everyone she could who attended the parties if they drove her home. No one said yes. Then she asked some guy if he had, and he lifted his brow at her. He took a swig of his beer and said, “This one brunette shows up every time and takes you home. I always try to ask her to stay and loosen up, but she never talks. Her loss.” 

Clarke knew then it was Lexa who was taking her home every time she went out and got shit faced. She never spoke to her when they passed in the hallways at school. She only glanced at her every two seconds hoping Lexa would make the first move. She never did. 

One evening, Clarke was invited to a spring break party at Finn Collins’ house, and she made it her resolution to only drink enough to get her tipsy. She wanted to remember Lexa this time. She wanted to see what Lexa was like. 

So she went. She monitored her own drinks, kept the whiskey to a minimum and stopped herself when the room started to spin and her bones felt light. She felt so giddy and relaxed. Every time she drank, she never gave herself the chance to just stop and feel it all run through her. She liked this feeling and concluded she would minimize the amount of her drinks more often. 

She was laying on the red couch, laughing at the sloppy dancing teenagers make out with one another, and swivel their bodies in challenging ways when Lexa showed up and looked her over. Clarke dipped her head up lethargically and smiled sloppily at Lexa with dazzling droopy blue eyes. She could see Lexa stutter in her movements for a minute at the effect of Clarke’s grin, and it made her warm inside. 

“Are you ready to go home?” Lexa asked sheepishly, her arms at her sides. 

“Did I ever ask you to come get me? Did I ever- did I call you, Lex?” Clarke drawled through her intoxicated mind. She might have had one or two more shots after cutting herself off. But she knew she wasn’t too far gone to remember this the next morning. 

Lexa raised one of her hands and rubbed at the back of her neck nervously as a blush fell over her cheeks. Clarke wanted to kiss her. Alcohol induced mind or not.

“Well, uh, no. No you didn’t.” 

“Then why did you come? Have a drink or somethin shit,” Clarke laughed. 

Lexa looked down at her with a sadness in her big green eyes that made Clarke want to laugh more. This girl actually felt sorry for her. How come she only showed up when she was drunk? Why couldn’t she be there when she was crying in bed, the pain too tight in her chest to breathe regularly. Why couldn’t she just hold her? 

“I want to make sure you’re alright. Some of the people here are a bit sketchy,” Lexa answered as she surveyed the room of drunken teens with a grimace. 

“Did Lexa Woods just say sketchy?” Clarke laughed harder. “That’s something I thought I’d never hear.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest in annoyance. God, how could the girl look sexy even then?

“Come on, Clarke. Do you want me to take you home or not?” 

Clarke leant back further on the couch and mimicked Lexa by folding her arms over her chest. She let her eyes roam over Lexa’s body from her worn navy blue converse, to her old leather jacket opened just enough to peek her white tank top and supple cleavage. That’s when Clarke’s tongue darted out and she licked her lips. When her eyes connected with Lexa’s, she could see her blush had grown darker, giving Clarke just what she wanted. 

“Yeah,” Clarke finally nodded, “Take me home.”

After wrapping Clarke’s arm around her shoulders and dragging her out of the crowded house, they were walking down the pathway from the porch when Finn came out from around the side of the house with a large bottle of half drunken vodka in his hand. 

He stopped in front of the girls with a stumble and a scoff as he looked over Lexa and spat at her shoes. 

“I’m sure you weren’t invited, gaywad,” He slurred and spat at her shoes again, but missing, leaving his white spit to splat against the pavement. 

“Shut up, Finn,” Clarke spat at him and gripped Lexa’s hand tighter. “You’re the one who sucked off Kyle Wick. Being gay isn’t wrong either, asshole.” 

“Clarke!” Finn yelled and dropped the bottle to the ground, letting it crash and break to pieces. “I told you not to tell anyone!” 

“Yeah and I told you not to be a hypocritical dickhead. Guess neither of us listen. Now excuse me, my girl is taking me home.” 

“Your girl?” Lexa and Finn asked in unison. 

“Lexa please, let’s go home.” 

Lexa nodded then and helped Clarke get into her uncle’s truck before shutting the door and running to the other side to get in herself. 

Finn hadn’t said anything else to them as he stumbled into his house and slammed the door, not watching the car bumble away down the dark road surrounded by expensive large houses. Lexa glanced over at Clarke as she gripped the wheel and bit her lip. Clarke leaned her head against the cool glass of the window and let her eyes fall shut as she hummed softly to the song playing quietly on the radio. 

Lexa looked back at the road and decided not to say anything. Clarke was intoxicated and tired. Usually on their rides home, Clarke was rambling on and on about different kinds of things and laughing while Lexa sat quiet, saying nothing. But this time Clarke was more silent, more aware. That scared Lexa. 

“Don’t worry,” Clarke finally mumbled. “He won’t remember any of that.” 

Lexa nodded. She didn’t want to ask the question that had been weighing down hard on her mind. ‘Will you remember though, Clarke?”

“Thank you by the way,” Clarke whispered genuinely. “Thank you for taking me home.” 

Lexa looked at her and felt her breath catch in her throat. Clarke was staring right at her with those beautiful blue eyes, small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Her hair was messy and glowing from against the window as the truck passed under streetlights. And she looked so broken up inside, Lexa wanted so badly to just pull over to the side of the road and hold her. But she didn’t. She kept driving and swallowing against her dry throat. 

“Anytime,” She said. Then there was only silence the rest of the way home. 

Clarke didn’t go to anymore parties after that night and Lexa didn’t pick her up anymore. She never told Lexa she remembered being taken home by her. And she never gave her a proper sober apology. She felt maybe that worked better for the both of them. Clarke didn’t go near alcohol or drugs or anything of that sort. She stayed in her room studying for a future she never would have. A future she didn’t know she would be spending surviving next to the one person she’s ever wanted to grow close to. Lexa was her future. Maybe her father was right. Things fall into place even when everything else falls apart.

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

There was rain. She could smell it. But there was also fog. That crisp, yet drenched smell was the first thing that hit her when her mind woke up from its heavy memory filled slumber. She smelled leaves and wet wood, but above all of that, she could smell pine and cashmere and peach. She could smell Lexa. Her heart began to race, pumping aching capsules through her bloodstream. She could barely hear whimpering and it took her a moment to realize it was coming from herself. Her eyes were crusty and wouldn’t open. It felt as if they were sealed shut with superglue and syrup and bread crumbs. Just the right mixture of dry and sticky forming between her eyelids, keeping them shut tight. Clarke growled but instantly regretted it when her chest burned and she sputtered out a few menacing coughs. The pain registered intensely after that. It felt as if someone had set her lungs on fire and they were barely hanging on, charred and black, still emitting smoke. She wanted to slip back to sleep. Go back to the place she didn’t feel pain. But she couldn’t. Not when she felt a soft hand in hers, tethering her to earth. 

“I think she’s waking up,” a familiar voice echoed through Clarke’s head, knocked against the walls of her skull. 

“Give her room. She might be overwhelmed.” Another voice that she remembered. 

“Clarke. I’m here. It’s all okay. You’re okay.” That voice was Lexa’s. 

That voice made Clarke’s eyes snap open, freeing from the rust and grime that had been previously chaining them together. It was too bright even with it being sunset. Her head instantly throbbed large enough to feel like an actual fist was knocking against it. But then her eyes connected with the green that seemed to swirl around her in calm binds. She forgot the pain nearly enough to smile. 

Lexa’s face lit up with a bright grin that could put the sun to shame. That wasn’t too bright for Clarke’s muddled mind. In fact, it was just perfect enough to guide her out of the dark. The grip on her hand intensified and Clarke gripped back with equal amounts of force, at least as much as she could muster. What a beautiful thing to wake up to. Lexa Woods, with trees above her, patches of sharp pink sky enveloping the spaces between the branches and leaves. Clarke wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

“Thank fuck,” the other voice from before breathed out. Clarke identified it as Raven. 

“I told you she would be okay,” Octavia laughed from somewhere in the distance. 

Clarke barely registered any of it as she beamed at the love of her life staring down at her with love oozing from her jade eyes and cheeks so pink, they might as well have been absorbing the sky. 

“I know, I just. Jesus. We went through all of that and I was afraid-” 

“It’s okay, Raven,” Clarke rasped out. All heads turned to her in shock. “I’m okay.” 

Raven smiled sheepishly at her then nodded in acceptance. Clarke was awake, breathing, albeit struggling, but she was alive and awake. She was surviving. 

“What happened? How long have I been out?” Clarke asked. Her throat was dry and itchy. She felt as if she had swallowed an entire handful of gravel and lit cigar bits. She was absolutely parched. Like a furnace with legs. 

“You were out for three days,” Luna finally piped up and handed Lexa something Clarke couldn’t see. “We thought something was seriously wrong. We felt helpless.” 

“Something was seriously wrong,” Raven corrected. “She had some seriously bad smoke inhalation. She could’ve died.” 

The shakiness was back in Raven’s voice and Clarke felt her heart sink at the sound. Suddenly she was softly being lifted up into Lexa’s lap until she was sitting up against Lexa’s back, head resting against the warmth of her shoulder. A bottle was being raised to her lips by Lexa, and Clarke greedily welcomed it. The water rolled down her throat like sap ran down the rough bark of a tree. It was smooth and relieving and Clarke would’ve groaned in relief if she wasn’t in so much pain. 

“Well she didn’t,” Lexa said tenderly and kissed Clarke’s temple. 

“What do we do now?” Raven said.

“We do what we can,” Octavia shrugged. 

“It’s too cold for summer,” Luna shivered. 

“Well, not all is right with the world exactly is it?” Raven sassed. 

 

The world was on fire. It was infested with living dead and greedy survivors. Its nature was overgrowing and tumbling over the wreckage everyone left behind. But maybe it was better that way. Maybe that’s what Earth was destined to do all along. 

Lexa thought so anyway. Lexa Woods had never been religious. But she figured humans were dumb enough to let something like this happen. Selfish and greedy enough. Her uncle Gustus believed so too. That’s why she entered this new world prepared. She only ever found herself just a tiny bit disappointed. She had known things would be hard. But looking at the girl she loved, struggling to live, knocked out and barely breathing was the most painful and hard thing to deal with. Lexa had been beaten up, nearly raped, and shot. And still, nothing caused her more pain than the threat of losing Clarke. 

There had been a good chance she wouldn’t survive according to Raven. Octavia argued that she would and reassured Lexa anytime things got too hard. But then Clarke woke up. She woke up in her arms. Cradled and warm despite the chill in the foggy air. The world could’ve folded in on itself and disintegrated right then, and Lexa still would’ve felt like the luckiest girl to ever live in breathe, looking into those blue eyes again. 

They found a cabin by some drying lake and decided to camp out there. The memory of fire and smoke and eerie disgusting men hunched them and tensed them all. But they knew a roof and a possible bed was better than the dangers of being outside sleeping on the dirt and twigs under the free sky. 

Sure enough, there were two bedrooms. One with two bunkbeds and one with a queen size. The girls concluded Clarke and Lexa would get the queen and the rest of them would sleep in the bunkbeds. Octavia and Raven went around the premises, setting up invisible booby traps that would alert them if any infected or unwanted visitors happened to stumble upon their temporary sanctuary. They all knew the potential danger there was with no one being on watch, but their car had ran out of gas and they had been traveling on foot for two days with an injured Clarke. They were too exhausted to go the extra mile for just one night. 

“We were on watch last time and something shitty happened anyway,” Raven reasoned as she slung the barbed wire with dangling cans over the front step of the porch. Everyone knew it wasn’t entirely that good of an excuse. But no one had it in them enough to care. 

“So tomorrow do we continue our trek to California?” Luna asked as they secured the living room area. 

“No,” Lexa said firmly and glanced to Octavia. “We have to find someone first.”

“We do?” Raven scrunched her eyebrows.

“Yeah. We find Lincoln, then we go to California.” 

No one questioned it. No one pointed out how incredibly hard it would be. They had the all of the time in the world. And Octavia deserved to know where her soulmate was. To know if he was safe. To be in his arms again. 

“We better get sleep then,” Luna yawned and grabbed Raven’s hand. 

“Sounds good,” Clarke nodded and turned to the hallway. 

Lexa looked at Octavia and caught the thankful brief smile, and gave one back before following Clarke into their temporary room

When they all settled in for the night, doors locked and windows still securely boarded up, Clarke lay on her back on the rusty stained mattress in the dark, listening to the rustling Lexa made as she rifled through her stuff and changed her clothes to something lighter. The bed dipped beside her and she closed her eyes as she felt Lexa snuggled in close to her, snaking her arm softly over her tummy and nuzzling her face into her neck. 

“I was scared you know,” Lexa mumbled against the soft skin of Clarke’s neck. 

Clarke had known. She could see it accompany the relief in her eyes when she finally blinked her own open. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. You did so good back there.” 

“So did you. I knew you would find us. One way or another you were always taking care of me. Even before all of this.” 

Lexa shifted a little against Clarke’s side and lifted her head up, searching blindly for Clarke’s eyes in the dark. 

“What do you mean?” Lexa whispered. 

“Back after my dad died,” Clarke husked. “I used to get shitfaced at parties all of the time. You always took me home.” 

Lexa’s breath caught in her throat and she stiffened at the memories. Clarke snaked her arms around her and held her closely, rubbing her shoulders soothingly. The tenseness slowly went away as Clarke massaged her and let everything purchase in Lexa’s mind. 

“I didn’t think you remembered any of that,” Lexa finally breathed out into the stillness of the night. 

“I didn’t most of the time. But I kept going to parties and waking up in my own bed the next morning. I asked O and Raven if they were the ones that always took me home and they hadn’t. So I asked around until someone described you. I didn’t really know at first. Then the last party I went to, I kept my drinks to a minimum until you showed up. I remembered that night.” 

Lexa sighed heavily and went slack in Clarke’s arms. She never wanted Clarke to be in danger. She knew she had been rebelling after losing someone important to death. Lexa knew that pain too well. And she couldn’t stand knowing Clarke was falling apart and vulnerable to any high school boy or girl within the world of alcohol. She wouldn’t allow Clarke to be unsafe. And that still proceeded to be her largest priority; keeping Clarke safe. 

“I just needed to know you were safe,” Lexa sighed. 

“I get that.” 

Silence followed them until Clarke was almost asleep, wincing when she breathed too hard, but still exhausted enough to feel a deep slumber tugging at her mind. 

“Clarke?” Lexa whispered.

“Mm?” 

“We were always at time’s kiss. I think Jake knew that.” 

Clarke’s eyes blinked open and a silent tear rolled down her cheek into Lexa’s hair. She loved this girl She always had, really. Until she could really remember. And although things were so entirely painful and twisted and hard, she felt so beyond lucky to have her in any given world and time they entered. 

“I think so too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do y'all think?? I thought I'd give some background for our girls. Their relationship only gets even more predictable from the past as the chapters go on. This is mostly a Clexa fic so I don't really focus on any of the others characters backgrounds as much, but if you would like me to, I can give y'all a little something for each of them. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I loved writing it. For once these girls get a safe night. I think they deserve it after all of the hell they've recently endured. More smut will come once Clarke feels a bit better by the way, just an fyi. Comments and Kudos make me feel yellow inside with a bunch of smiley faces in my heart. So please tell me what you think. Thanks for reading and the next chap is soon to come!


	13. Dracula From Houston

The air was dry, but it was cold and the clouds were rolling in and all they wished for was rain. They needed that rain. Turmoil from the previous few days still hung heavy in the air and the exhaustion draped around them all like ten layers of thick comforters. There was nothing to do but search and stay breathing. To keep moving and rest at certain moments. This wasn’t hard for Lexa. Lexa had always been the type to stay on track when her mind was set to something. She wanted to get it done. She wanted to focus. She could tell it was hard for Clarke. Sometimes the blonde would squeeze her hand harder when she was lost in thought, or itching to draw. Lexa’s heart ached knowing the love of her life was being deprived of her artistic abilities. And truth be told, she missed watching her create it. But they had to find Lincoln. Octavia was getting hopeless more and more as each day passed and there was no sign of him. The entire group was down in the slums. 

But the adrenaline that came with taking out the infected was something. It was something different than walking aimlessly through the woods and old country roads. But it left them drop dead tired by the end. For Lexa, it felt a little like groundhog day. A broken record. Endless repeats. But she was just relieved she got to spend every moment of it with Clarke. 

“Didn’t we come from that way?” Raven asked from up front as she trekked beside Luna and Octavia. Her hair was mussed and her clothes were ruffled up from the impromptu “piss break” she had with Luna just a few minutes before. 

“No, Rae. We’ve been going straight the entire time. You’d know that if you weren’t constantly playing tonsil hockey with hot pants over here.” Octavia said without malice. 

Luna scoffed, “Reyes wishes.” 

“Your tongue was just down my throat, don’t even lie!” 

“Now if you really need to piss, I won’t believe you and you’ll just have to hold it,” Octavia smirked. 

“Ha!” Luna stuck her tongue out at Raven in a childish way that vaguely reminded Lexa of when they were younger. 

“You too, chief horndog.” 

If the air wasn’t so heavy and they weren’t carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, they all would’ve shared a laugh. 

Lexa and Clarke walked just a little far back behind the three girls, enjoying each other’s company over anything else. Lexa tuned out their friends’ bickering as she glanced to her lover, seemingly lost in thought. The greens and browns of the forest blurred behind Clarke in messy shadows, as if Clarke were in the center of a spotlight. Lexa was always so drawn to her. Clarke was the one constant in her life. The one thing she’d die for time and time again. She didn’t know how she got so lucky. But whenever she started thinking about luck, she immediately willed her thoughts to go elsewhere. Luck wasn’t a part of this world anymore. She wasn’t going to question her luck with Clarke when anything could just be taken from her in an instant. Not again. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Clarke’s wonderfully husky voice sifted into her head. 

Lexa’s eyes connected to Clarke’s and she marveled in the undying spark that transpired between them. Clarke was her star. 

“I was just thinking of you,” Lexa shrugged. 

“Oh yeah? What about me?” 

The smirk could be heard in Clarke’s voice and it forced one onto Lexa’s own blushing face. Clarke still had that effect on her in all of their time together on this ever dying earth. It was exhilarating. 

“Just about how beautiful you are,” Lexa admitted bashfully. “How happy I am that we’re here, together, surviving. Loving.” 

Clarke glanced down at the ground as her smile grew wider at Lexa’s words. She couldn’t help feeling her stomach drop and her heart soar. 

“Guys,” Octavia stopped in her tracks causing everyone else to halt. “We’ve got company.” 

“Glad we shut those saps up for a minute,” Raven smirked back at the couple behind them with a whisper. 

Octavia thwacked the girl in the stomach and held her index finger to her lips, telling her to hush. The group looked into the distance, all struggling to focus on whatever Octavia was seeing. But then there it was, or rather, there they were. A group of men fighting off a hoard of dead. One after one, spitting through the gaps of the trees, throwing themselves at the lot of them. They weren’t dressed like the men who had kidnapped Raven and Clarke. Despite the condition of the world as they knew it, they were rather clean looking. But that didn’t mean they were good either. It could mean the complete opposite. 

“Should we help them?” Raven plucked a fallen leaf from her jet black hair and whispered harshly into Octavia’s ear. 

“I don’t think we should,” Luna shook her head. “We’ll find ourselves in the same ordeal we just got out of. We might not be as lucky this time.” 

Octavia stood silent, staring at the men fighting off infected after infected. The bodies dropped like flies and collected around one another on the ground by the men’s feet. Perfect hurdles to survival. 

“Rand! I need you!” One of the men yelled in a ragged voice. He waved his gun in the air, indicating he was out of ammo. 

“Fuck! Okay, I’m on it.” One of the men, Rand, shouted back. The five girls hidden well by the brush and the trees in the distance watched in horror as the man’s foot snagged against one of the infected’s jackets and he fell face first onto the ground, snuggled between dead decaying bodies. 

“Rand! Get up!” A high feminine voice cut the air. 

“I-I can’t I-” The man’s blubbers were turned into screams as a not-quite-infected sunk its weak teeth into the pulsing stubbly neck of the man. His screams brought swarms of infected from all sides. Alerted them like a dinner bell. 

Clarke detached her eyes from the mess ahead of her, and glanced over her shoulder to see stumbling groups of infected make their way to them slowly. Coming from behind them, inching their way closer to her friends, to Lexa. Clarke scowled at them. Just bags of of bones in molding skin and hunger and death. 

Luna caught on eventually and shook Raven and Lexa, efficiently bumping them into Octavia and Clarke, jolting them all from their shock and reverie. 

“Death munchers, nine o’clock. We need to run.” 

Octavia and Raven were already running. They were almost surrounded. Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hand and willed her to run. Twined their fingers together and made sure she knew they were going to be okay. They just had to leave. Their three friends had already dove into the ditch where a hill soon sloped into a clearing and more forest that seemed to be vacant. But before Lexa could pull Clarke with her, the blonde stopped and stared at the ever failing group try to hoard the dead off. One man was already dead, another slowly approaching it. Then, there was a woman, standing against the rough bark of a large tree, shooting, bullet after bullet lodging into infected heads. Clarke’s eyes fixated on the large bump protruding against the woman’s white shirt. So round and full. Clarke’s heart stopped. 

“Clarke we have to go!” Lexa was tugging her to the ditch, desperately trying to lead her to safety to no avail. 

“Lexa! She’s pregnant! Please, we have to help them!” Clarke’s pleading didn’t fall upon deaf ears. Lexa always made sure she heard Clarke out. But now, the crowds of infected were rolling in, and they didn’t have time to even try to make an attempt to save them. 

Clarke glanced nervously at the group about a yard away from them, and she couldn’t console her panic. Clarke was so selfless. So damn courageous. Lexa lovers that about her. She really does. She loved it when Lexa was being picked on at recess for having messy braids, and Clarke stood up for her with a bottom lip stuck out, head raised high in dignity, and hand firmly set on her hip as she stubbornly told the other little girls to go stick it where the sun don’t shine. Clarke was the sun. But right now, the clouds were too thick and heavy and they couldn’t afford to risks their lives. Lexa wouldn’t lose her Clarke again. 

Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hands tighter and shook her head firmly, trying to ignore the drop of her stomach at the pain so evident in the thunderous blues of Clarke’s eyes. 

“No,” Lexa heaved in shaky conviction. “We need to go. Now.” 

Dragging clarke to the small ditch was like dragging a toddler through the kitchen supply aisle in a grocery store without toys. The blonde’s legs were like steel, and she was adamant. But soon, she gave in and rolled down the ditch with Lexa, sweaty palms still clasped together. 

Sliding down the steep incline of the hill wasn’t what made Clarke’s heart flop. The image of a large rounded belly against dirty white cloth kept playing over and over in her head. Her chest was filled with burning ache, and she just wanted to forget it. No, what she really wanted to do was help them. She was so mad at Lexa at the moment. But then they were running, catching up with the others. And then she felt the anger whither away and she couldn’t blame Lexa. There was nothing they could’ve done for them. They would’ve just ended up dead too. Lexa was saving her. Saving her as she always did. 

Her legs were jelly but she kept running. Lexa’s fingers were still twined tightly around Clarke’s as their lungs burned and their legs pumped. Octavia and Luna had to bring out their weapons a couple of times to stave off some wandering walkers. But other than that, they just ran. Ran and ran and ran. They were constantly running. Running to shelter of any kind, running from danger. Running away. Alway running away. 

 

////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

The fire was crackling, licking against the cold air, getting knocked back by wind. It made the shadows flicker against the dusty dirt of the ground and the black shadows flapped against the trees. The miniscule amount of warmth it gave didn’t stop the deepening chills wracking over Clarke. She couldn’t even remember how Lexa and Raven got the fire going. She couldn’t remember how they got it together. She also couldn’t remember how they got there or found the small shed next to this old water mill and power tower. None of which worked. She could only see the pregnant stomach full of life. She could picture a nearly full term baby holding out in there waiting for its mama to get out of there. Waiting to live. 

“Hey,” the soft voice flowed through Clarke’s loudening thoughts and jolted her out of them momentarily. That soothing voice belonged to Lexa. 

“Hey.” The big sigh Clarke heaved out made Lexa involuntarily frown. She knew how hard it was for Clarke. The daughter of a doctor and a psychologist. She always wanted to help people even if she was in harm herself. She hated watching Clarke tear herself apart. 

“You’re strong you know.” 

“I don’t feel like it sometimes,” Clarke forced out a dry laugh and stared down at her hands. Scratched covered them, slit right through the dirt covered skin. Some were healing into scars, and some were fresh. She cringed at them. 

“We would’ve done something if we could have. We just didn’t have time. We couldn’t do anything. It wasn’t within our abilities.” 

“I know.”

“Do you?” 

“Yeah.” 

Lexa was rubbing soothing circles over Clarke’s back without even noticing. It was just such an instinct to have any sort of closeness or intimacy with Clarke. Especially when she was hurting, which had been a lot lately. Clarke leaned into her touch and slid her eyes shut, letting the one thing anchoring her to earth calm her. 

“I know you grieve over this. I know it hurts you so bad you can’t stand being in your own skin, but god dammit Clarke you are so strong. You have such a golden heart. But that unfortunately means it’ll get so heavy in times like these. But I promise it’ll ease up. You can’t blame yourself for whatever potentially happened after we ran. I won’t let you.” 

A lone tear rolled down Clarke’s cheek. Lexa wiped it away with her thumb. 

“Aren’t you upset by it at all? I mean, jesus, Lex. That woman was carrying a baby. I can’t even imagine the terror and fear of being pregnant in this shit stye of a world. Of what it’s become.”

“Of course it hurts and unsettles me Clarke,” Lexa said in a whisper. “But, we can’t let it eat away at us. There’s too much threat of that enough as it is with the dead lurking in every corner. I feel pain for them. I feel pain for whoever meets such a terrible fate. But my first and main priority is you. To keep you safe no matter what. As selfish as that is, I will always put you first. No matter the circumstance.” 

Clarke shouldn’t have found such solace in those words, but she did. Lexa was her priority too. Her first and last. She’d do anything to make sure Lexa was safe. Even if that ever meant sacrificing herself. 

When she snuggled closer into Lexa, and Lexa’s arms wrapped securely around her, she found that she felt more warmth from her lover than the blazing fire in front of them. She was content that way. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Raven’s shrill voice roared in the distance. Both Clarke and Lexa glanced over to where Luna and Raven stood watch by a thicket of bushes and trees. The flapping of light against shadows from the fire lapped at their stiff figures, but perfectly spotlighted the red anger in Raven’s face, and the twisted grimace that was Luna. 

“She must’ve told her about her mother’s necklace,” Lexa whispered into Clarke’s ear, plump lips brushing against the shell. Hot shivers shook through Clarke’s body. 

“Mm,” Clarke nodded. “Looks bad.” 

Luna’s guilt grimace soon turned into a glare directed right at Clarke and Lexa. 

“Shouldn’t you assholes be sleeping, or should we just let you take watch?” She barked at them as Raven crossed her arms defensively over her chest. Clarke recognized Raven’s struggle with holding her anger in. She was trying hard, biting her lip and digging her nails into her forearms. Clarke gave her props for not having a full blown Raven melt down. If they weren’t in the middle of the woods in the dead of night smack dab in the middle of an apocalypse, Luna would be having her ass chewed at maximum volume. 

Lexa would’ve snarked something back if she knew her cousin wasn’t about to potentially lose the girl she loves. She really hoped it would work out. Things were already tense enough as it is. 

Lexa slid off of the log (well, a large thick stick Raven had found) and pulled Clarke down gently with her. Lexa’s head bumped the toe of Octavia’s boot so Lexa slid her and Clarke down a bit further so they wouldn’t wake the snoozing girl. Clarke snuggled close into Lexa’s side and tucked her face into the crook of her neck, feeling Lexa’s steady pulse against her lips. Lexa’s left hand rested comfortably on the small of Clarke’s back while her other hand sat atop Clarke’s over her heart. She couldn’t help but think of her uncle Gustus. Couldn’t help but wonder if he saw her and Clarke right there in that very moment, would he have teased her about all of the pining over her neighbor and finally being together after being thrusted into survival’s arms, or would he have clapped her on the shoulder and congratulated her, proud to finally see her happy? She wondered if he was still out there. If he had been sober enough during the outbreak. She hoped he wasn’t in one of those ditches like the one they climbed through earlier that day. She hopes that if he’s alive, he isn’t suffering. 

Like the connected hearts they have, their minds seem to hoan on it too. Clarke thinks of her mother. She thinks of her mother’s honeymoon trip with Marcus to South America. She silently wishes they were alive somewhere. She forces down the sweet bitter pill of hope she had that she’d ever see either of them again. It would be hard to get from South America to get back home in the states. And Abby wouldn’t have the slightest clue where to find Clarke anyway. The chances were slim to none. Clarke had accepted that long ago. Acceptance or not, she felt her heart break even farther. She wished she could hug her mother again. Tell her she loves her. Assure her that she doesn’t hate her for moving on so fast after her father’s death. She wishes she could just be held by her again. 

As if Lexa could hear her thoughts, her arm tightens around Clarke and brings her impossibly closer. Clarke presses a kiss to the soft skin of Lexa’s neck. Nothing is said between them. They just breathe and listen to the crackling of the fire, and the heated whispers of Luna and Raven as they endlessly argue a few feet away. Then, Clarke feels her eyes begin to grow heavy, the exhaustion finally getting the best of her. Lexa falls asleep right after Clarke does, and they’re warmer than everyone else around them, even with Luna and Raven’s anger heating them, and Octavia wrapped in their only blanket. They were warmest right there in each other’s arms, nestled together under the slice of moon floating in the sky. 

 

When Lexa woke sometime later in the night, Luna and Raven were on separate sides of their makeshift campground standing watch alone. That told Lexa all she needed to know. She fell right back to sleep with Clarke fully on top of her, head settled on her chest, like a big comforter. Better than any blanket Lexa’s ever had. 

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“I never thought I could get sick of the woods,” Octavia announced from her spot in the front of the group. Raven walked beside her, donning her mother’s old necklace around her neck, but her face was stuck in the same glare it had been in when Luna gave it back to her a few nights back. 

Luna hung back with Clarke and Lexa, pouting loud enough for everyone to hear. Yes, Luna’s pouting was loud. And Lexa had no sympathy for her cousin. 

“Surprises me,” Clarke piped up at Octavia’s remark. “You used to drag me to Culver’s Lake all of the time to camp out with you and fish when we were kids. The woods used to be your second home.” 

“You’re right. Remember when Bellamy came with us one night and when he stripped to swim in the lake, we hid his clothes in a tree when he wasn’t looking?” 

Clarke chuckled at the warm and albeit disturbing memory. 

“He made us sleep outside while he got the tent.” 

“Serves us right I guess,” Octavia’s voice travels off at the thought of her older brother. 

He was at university, a few states away in DC when the outbreak hit. Octavia tried reaching him but never got an answer. He was one recurring heart ache in her chest, along with the absence of Lincoln. She missed them like there was an actual hole in her chest that could only be healed once she knew they were okay. Alive. 

“I have to take a bathroom break,” Octavia shakes herself out of her thoughts and walks away from the group to find a good enough spot. “If anyone needs to empty themselves, might as well do it now.” 

Without a beat, Luna makes for Raven and they whisper harshly until Raven uncrosses her arms and follows Luna into the opposite direction of Octavia, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone once more. Not that either of them minded in the slightest. 

Lexa wound her arms around Clarke’s waist and places a warm kiss onto her forehead, leaving Clarke fuzzy enough to be plush. 

“Think they’ll work it out?” Lexa tilts her head in the direction Raven and Luna disappeared to. 

“Mm, yeah.” Clarke nodded. “I think once they actually calm down enough to talk it out, everything will be fine as pie.” 

“Fine as pie aye?” Lexa tsked. “Gonna get my stomach growling.” 

Clarke lies her palm flat on Lexa’s stomach and feels it grumble and purr insistently. 

“What was your favorite pie?” 

Lexa twisted her lips in deep thought, considering the gooey, mouthwatering flavors. 

“I always liked pumpkin.” 

Clarke scoffed. “Of course you would. I should’ve known.” 

“Okay what about you, miss high and mighty? What’s your favorite flavor?

“Definitely cherry,” Clarke said indignantly, bottom lip sticking out. 

Lexa leans in and captures that tempting bottom lip between her own, gently grazing the plump of it between her teeth before lightly sucking it and letting it go with a small pop. Clarke’s eyes rolled back as her knees nearly buckled. If not for Lexa’s hold on her, Clarke was convinced she’d have dropped right to the ground. 

“Mmm explains why you’re so sweet. Sweet cherry pie,” Lexa whispered against Clarke’s suddenly needly lips, before they swallowed her plump ones in a heady kiss. 

Clarke grips the back of Lexa’s neck and gently pulls her closer, deepening the kiss. A low moan rumbled through Lexa’s throat, but Clarke catches it with her lips. Lexa flicks her tongue against the roof of Clarke’s mouth and causes the blonde to let out her own whine of approval. Clarke begins to flush when Lexa palms both of her backside cheeks and squeezes. But then a loud growl from below leads them to reluctantly depart. They’re both grinning at each other with lidded eyes and it’s almost as if it were a dream. 

“Sorry for bringing up the pie,” Clarke giggles and places a tender chaste kiss to Lexa’s kiss-swollen lips. With the intensity of the previous kiss, Clarke wants to, simply put, jump her girlfriend’s bones and worship her well into the night. 

“No, I’m glad you did,” Lexa shook her head. “It’s those small pieces of our old world that makes nostalgia so nice to feel. It makes some things feel worth it.” 

Clarke stared up into the beautiful green eyes studying her lovingly. She felt like the luckiest survivor on earth, battling the end beside such a brave, yet soft woman. She was astounded often to know that she was with Lexa woods. That she was hers. That they were both still here. Still here together. 

“Wanna play an old game I used to play when I was a kid?” Lexa waggled her eyebrows at Clarke and enjoyed the soft chuckle that earned her. 

“Don’t tell me it’s doctor?” Clarke smiled mischievously and rained kisses over the expanse of Lexa’s neck. 

Fighting back a moan, Lexa shook her head. 

“Nope, although I definitely wouldn’t mind an adult version of that with you.” 

Clarke rolled her eyes affectionately and placed a kiss to Lexa’s cheek. 

“Go on then.” 

“Well, Uncle Gus and I used to play this game whenever he took me camping. Two people go against each other competing to find the most worms or insects under rocks. Whoever wins most insects found under items, not including the air or on top of things, under just a minute wins the choice of dessert.” 

Clarke stared up at her girlfriend in pure amusement before laughing hard enough to pain her stomach more than her impending hunger.

“Oh, baby. You really want to pick up some insects and see who wins some ice cream?” 

The term of endearment makes Lexa’s stomach roll in the most beautiful of ways. 

“Well maybe not ice cream. Unfortunately, we don’t really have such easy access to it anymore.” 

“Hmm,” Clarke mocks hard thought as she places her index finger against her chin. “How about whoever wins gets taken care of first the next time we’re able to.” 

The suggestion is sweeter than pure cane sugar and Lexa feels heat boiling low in her tummy. Either way, she was winning in her head, but she really just loved having the opportunity to challenge Clarke. It was so on. 

“Deal,” Lexa nods, shaking Clarke’s hand, then subtly kissing her knuckles. 

“Tell me when the clock starts,” Clarke grins at Lexa, the “clock” being Lexa’s head.

“Okay, ready… Set… Insect!” 

The two girls dart for the nearest rocks and start shuffling them over, picking up anything moving or alive. Lexa is moving at an alarming speed, and Clarke feels her inner competitiveness fuel her more. She stashes the bugs she finds in her palms and tries her hardest to ignore small fumbling legs against her dirty skin. She efficiently ignores the large spider scrambling away into the leaves.

Lexa picks up bug after bug after bug, and even prides herself with finding a fat enough worm to tie her boots with. She chances a glance over at Clarke and feels the smile spread over her face before she could think about it. The blonde’s lip is stuck out in concentration and her brows are scrunched together as she plucks bug to bug and slides them into her palm. Her hair got so long. Longer than she had ever seen it. She was so damn beautiful. Lexa loves her. Lexa loves her so much, she feels her own palm turning, letting a wide abundance of insects and other bigs litter into the thick arms of the leaves near the tree she’s crouched at. She even lets the worm go. 

“Time!” Lexa alerts and stands up, cupping the few bugs she had left in her right palm. Clarke walks to her with a shit eating grin on her face as she cups her left hand over the top of her right, trapping the bugs in the flesh cage of her hands. 

“Shall we count?” Lexa lifts a perfect brow, and Clarke nods vigorously. 

They open their hands at the same time and Clarke gasps at the mere four bugs rest in Lexa’s dirty palm. Four compared to maybe ten or eleven is a big contrast. They don’t even have to count. 

Clarke throws the bugs to the ground, slightly feeling bad, and throws her arms around Lexa’s neck in a victory hug. Lexa’s surprised that a win at such a small game made Clarke that happy. Lexa never wanted it to end. 

“I can’t believe I beat the wild whisperer,” Clarke smirked and kissed Lexa heavily. “But when we get the time to… We need to make sure we can at least wash our hands Lex.” 

Lexa makes a face of disgust and nods in agreement. 

“Most definitely.” 

Octavia finally steps out of the bushes and Clarke and Lexa eye her suspiciously. 

“What took you so long?” Clarke asked. 

“Literal shit happened, Griffin. Would y’all like the details?” 

The couple exchanged disgusted grimaces as they both break out in flurries of “god no” and “rather not.” 

“Where’s Raven and Luna?” Octavia scans their surroundings but doesn’t find a trace of them. 

“They stepped aside to talk” Lexa said. “I don’t think they went too far.” 

As if they knew they were going to be summoned, Raven and Luna dash towards them all, cheeks red from the running. They rest their hands on their knees and heave out harsh breaths. 

“What happened?” Octavia leaned down to inspect Raven. 

“We found-” 

“There’s a sanctuary,” Raven interrupted Luna in a heap of puffed breaths and fast words. 

“So?” Octavia shrugged. “There have been a lot of sanctuaries we’ve passed. What’s so special about this one?” 

Raven glances up from the struggle of catching her breath, chocolate eyes connecting to Octavia’s gray-green ones. 

“O… We saw Lincoln.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whether you all saw that coming or not, this is about to get real spicy and good. This took me awhile to write and piece together but a lot is going to happen after this. I really hope you all liked the fluffy bits in this chapter, and I will definitely be adding clexa smut again soon, no worries. Tell me whatcha think! Kudos and comments make my heart thrive under the glittering moon. I hope you all enjoyed this chap, and I look forward to writing the next. All my love... :) (PS, It's almost two in the morning so I apologize if there are any spelling mistakes or just any mistakes in general, I'll look through it more tomorrow)


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